Ramblings, of a Lil Country Mom

Just writing...

2010-02-09T09:47:00.002-06:00

I'm not sure what I'll write. I just want to write something.

This semester is whizzing by so fast. I can not believe that a year ago I walked into Ms. Anthony's class, the first of the day, on my first day. A year ago that morning my dad was laying in the ER at Cox, after being LifeLined by St. John's, fighting for his life. I made a quick trip to the hospital to see him before I bee-lined it to campus. The parking, well that was so intimidating that I ended up crying and parking at least three blocks away. On the way to class my wheel fell off my backpack and I walked in 5 minutes late. Every semester for me has been a triumph. Along with every semester, there has been an accompanying tragedy or a large trial, to say the least. The Fall semester, I lost my Grandma.

I won't give up! I'm going to make it through! Some days I feel like I'm clawing to keep hold but I'm going to hold on. I'm now adding to my jumble of school, home and kids, a job. I'm excited to be starting soon. Wonder what other changes are to come????

Giving up...

2010-01-28T15:58:00.003-06:00

As I look around, my class that started out with not an empty seat in the room is slowly dwindling. The teacher announced that seven have already dropped and he hasn't given the first test yet. Wow!

I dropped a couple classes myself this semester. They were computer classes that I signed up for when I thought I was going to change my major. They were also online and for some reason beyond me I decided to drop both of them. I think that my heart knew before my head that it wasn't what I wanted because I vaguely remember dropping them. I do remember the, "Oh crap, I just dropped the class." comment coming off my lips after I had done it.

I now am back on track. I have eliminated "Giving up" from my vocabulary. I will study for College Algebra and I will learn it. I will stay in the CIS 101 class for the simple reason that I might learn something and because I don't have the extra cash to test out of it.

I was having a bad day a few weeks ago and a friend of mine from high school sent me a poem that I had sent her when she was in basic training. It goes like this...

Don’t Quit ...

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road your trudging seems all uphill,
When funds are low and debts too high
When you want to smile,
But you have to sigh
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must,
But don’t quit.
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured
The victorious cup
And he learned too late when
Night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out.
So stick to the fight
When you’re hardest hit,
It’s when things seem worst
You mustn’t quit.

It came at a time when I was ready to quit, to just give up. She had some kind words about how it had inspired her when she was ready to quit and had made her keep going. That's what it did for me, also.

So, even though some things in my life are chaning, I'm not quitting. I have many years in front of me but I'm not going to focus on those right now. Right now, I'm taking life one day at a time. I'm going to enjoy the path I have chosen and if it gets rocky then I'll push on through and I'll be a better person for it in the end.

2010-01-24T11:00:00.002-06:00

As I lay in bed last night, like many other nights, I thought of all that I need to accomplish. My list is long. Here are a few...

I want to lose two sizes before my birthday in April!

I need to start studying for my test in Political Science and Algebra and not wait until the last minute.

I need to start looking a lot harder for a job.

I need to spend a few more hours of the day with the boys.

I need to blog more and Facebook less.

I need to focus better on what I am working towards.

I need to be preparing all the things to turn in for my application into the OTC Nursing program that are due the first of April.

I need to set a budget up, so that I know where I stand when I find a job.

I need to clean the shed when it warms up so that I may bring all my oodles and oodles of Barbies that are left at my Grandma's house.

I need to work on those quilt blocks that I put away.

I need to layout a game plan for my 4-H Wildlife project kiddos.

These are just a few of the many things that rattled around last night in the dark.

Hopefully, in the next few weeks I can knock some of these off my list!

Happy studying fellow students!

New Semester, New Trials

2010-01-16T15:16:00.002-06:00

Here we are a week into the new semester. Wow, it's been a ride already. I started out with 5 classes. I had 3 seated and 2 web courses. I dropped to one web course yesterday. It's hard getting into the swing of the web class.

Today, I'm trying my hardest to study. I have a million things on my mind. None of which involve what I'm trying to study. Then, every 10-15 minutes Paden is calling me to help him on his new laptop that he got for Christmas. He was trying to play games on the Disney website but I have now made him quit and play the Jumpstart games that he knows how to use.

My mind rambles here and there. It's hard to focus today. My heart is not into it and I know that I will eventually give up and go find something else to occupy my time for a while. It's even harder when I know that tomorrow will be spent with Colton at a Shooting Sports Safety meeting.

I keep worrying about finding a job. I need one really bad and I keep hoping for a call for an interview soon. A part of me, though, is trepidatious about finding a job. Once I am employeed then life as I know it will change. Not only will I have to adjust all of my classes but I will become a single mom. How scary is that?

Well, enough goofing off. Time to hit the books.

2009-10-22T08:51:00.003-05:00

As I sit here, the tears running down my cheeks can be compared to the rain rolling down the windows. A chapter of my life is drawing to a close and the fear of the unknown is creeping in around me. I know that I can not go through what I am much longer and I am desperately searching for a solution and a way out of this hole that I have fell head first into.

A discussion among my study group last night about marriages and how they should be and what makes a happy marriage left me so broken. The words, "I look around and I see these unhappy people. Why don't they just get out?" echoes and rattles around in my head.

Getting out is where I'm headed. Getting there is wearing me down. I cry all the time now. I can't seem to organize anything and my focus is never where it should be.

A friend asks me all the time if I'm okay. I lie and tell them I am but inside I'm dieing and I know I'm not okay but because I don't feel that I should burden them with my problems, I say I'm fine. I'm sure if they could actually see me when they ask they would know I'm not okay but if I keep them at a distance I can keep them from seeing.

I never even made it home last night and the fighting started. We stayed late at study session because we got to discussing marriages and personal life and when I called to say I was heading home the accusations started. Earlier, when I left Applebee's from having dinner I was questioned why I was still there and just leaving. I can not live inside those conditions. When the trust is gone, so is the marriage. I lived for 12 years and never accused him of having anything and it would have been so easy for him because he was everywhere.

Little things over time have made a mountain. A mountain that has grown and divided us. At one time, I would have climbed the mountain. Now, I look at it, walk away, then look back for any signs. All I can see is hurt and I push farther on. The forest is looming before me and I cringe at the unknown. Somewhere in the midst of all those trees lies a meadow. If I can just reach it, I will feel it envelope me and then and only then will I be able to rest and finally feel at home.

Life...

2009-09-18T07:09:00.002-05:00

Sometimes we are given second chances. I believe the Lord does this so that we may correct the mistakes we made previously and get us back on track. But, what if the correction makes another mistake, or maybe not so much as a mistake but hurt and sorrow.

I am at a place in my life, currently, that a correction stands before me. Do I try to correct what is wrong or do I continue to plod on down the course that I had previously chosen. I wish that the "right-or-wrong" was more black and white than what it appears. More lives and more feelings than just my own will be hurt.

I want to be me. Me, who is she? Well, I used to know. A friend told me the other night, "Gina, that's not like you." Gosh, what do you say to that? I used to be strong, confident and full of life. Now...not so much. EXCEPT, when I am in class. When I hit the campus, I am the girl I used to be. I had a teacher tell me the other night, "You are gonna make one hell of a nurse. You're confident in your answers and you work on the problem until you figure it out. You just have that confidence about you." That was a great compliment.

The last week has been one of inner turmoil. I've recaptured a part of me that was gone. I can only compare how I'm feeling to watch a flower blooming. Ever so slowly, I'm opening back up. There is sunshine in my life again, if only for a moment. A piece that seems to be the one I've been missing is peaking out. Maybe, just maybe, I will be complete...someday.

I want...

2009-09-13T08:12:00.004-05:00

This post comes from a combination of things. Yesterday, I was reading the student website set up by Ms. A. (Yes, I know I'm not in her class this semester but she has such an impact on my life that I like to go see what she has her new batch of students up to.) Since not many had posted on her comments section, I decided to post. (I'm sure I wasn't supposed to but I felt like helping out.) She had talked about "listing". Her listing was post comments and start with, "I believe..." to which I replied...

I believe…

in love at first sight.

that love is worth climbing out on a limb for.

that true love never ends.

that God give us second chances to change the mistake we made the first time.

that true friends are like the seasons, they may go away for awhile but they always come back when its time.

I also got a horoscope yesterday. (No, I do not believe in these things but it was extremely uncanny that it came when so much is going on in my life and it parallelled it.) So sometime around 3 or 4 this morning I woke up and started thinking about the last part which read, "what truly matters to you in love." So here I go.

I want...

someone that loves me unconditionally.

someone that when I'm watching a "sappy, chick flick" will put his arm around me and let me cry on his shoulder.

someone that will slow dance with me in the kitchen.

someone that doesn't tell me to shutup when I sing with the radio.

someone to walk with in the evening and listen to the whippoorwills, crickets and frogs.

someone that picks a bouquet of wildflowers, "just because".

someone that can't sleep in the middle of the night because they realize I'm not beside them.

someone that takes the time to come see me when I have to stay in hospital for three days and doesn't call for a 25 minute conversation because they are working in Branson and it's too far to drive.

someone to cook with me and occassionally for me.

someone that knows me inside and out.

someone that doesn't have to have the tv on the minute he hits the door or wakes up and that pays more attention to what I have to say than to it.

someone that believes long, deep kisses are for more times than just when you're in the mood.

someone that shoulders as much responsibility as me.

someone that says, "I'm sorry" when he's wrong.

someone that doesn't always have to be right and doesn't go out of his way to prove me wrong, even if I am.

someone to take care of me on the rare occassion that I get sick.

someone to make me feel safe.

someone that believes in give and take.

someone that doesn't feel the need to guilt you into a decision.

someone that makes me laugh.

someone that doesn't pretend to be something they are not.

These are the things that I would look for. They are mostly little, sentimental things but the little things,those silly, trivial, little things, fill in the voids the big pieces can't cover. I'm sure to some these may seem stupid and trivial but this is what I think. These are my things and yours may be different, but that is when you need to know if your things and their things make a whole instead of just a bunch of pieces. I have came to realize that if your pieces don't fit, then you're just like an uncompleted jigsaw puzzle. You may have some pieces that join but in the end you still don't go together and become complete.

Friends, apologies and life

2009-09-12T13:05:00.004-05:00

Who knew that an apology would lead to so many confessions that should have came out years ago?

I have been in such a turmoil for two days. My heart feels broken; shattered in a million pieces. My brain has been collectively going through files and digging pieces of this and that out constantly until my head feels like it has swelled and is on the point of explosion. And my eyes, so many tears have fell in two days time that they feel like sandpaper. I'm not sure I could muster a smidgeon of fluid from them if I had to.

"What-could-have-been" is four words that I'm not sure I will ever hear and be able to get past again. "I wish you would have." will echo in the hollow corners of my brain for days and months. I know that, eventually, the conversation that I shared with a friend will fade but I also know that in my heart he will always be one of the most special people that I have ever known.

One reaction from me could have changed my whole life path but better communication between the two of us could have changed both of ours. Now, as I sit here writing, I realize how important it is that you should share your feelings about someone with them instead of keeping them to yourself. Yeah, you may get hurt but knowing now what I know, I wish I would have taken that chance. To borrow a quote from a friends Facebook page, "True love doesn't have a happy ending because true love never ends."
God has a plan for each of us. He brings people into our lives and he takes them away. I am fortunate to be surrounded by people that will support me even when I have so many negative people that don't and I am fortunate that he brought a true friend back into my life again.

Can someone help me?

2009-08-25T16:38:00.003-05:00

I don't know where to begin. Years ago, I made a mistake in not being there for a friend. I was too busy with a new life and when this person needed me, I wasn't there. So many times I have looked back and wondered what would have happened if I would have been there. I'm sure there were others that I wasn't there for but this one person has haunted the corners of my mind for ages.

I ran across that person the other day on the internet. I made a few comments on their page and they did the same in return. All the while, I wondered, "Do they remember me?" I got my answer. They do. Now, do I say, "I'm sorry." Do I try to apologize for something that maybe they don't remember and they will think I'm crazy for even worrying about? Or, do I clear my conscience and let this person know what they really meant to me and how ashamed I am for not being the friend that they needed? Should I link my blog and hope that when they read this, they will know I'm talking about them?

I could use some help or reasoning if anyone wants to share.

A Busy Summer

2009-08-15T09:09:00.002-05:00

As I only got out of summer school a few weeks ago, my summer vacation has been spent in a blur. The last day of finals I came home and sighed a big sigh of relief. I had made it through an action packed eight weeks of chemisty, got an "A" on the lab practical and finished the class with an "A". I slipped a little in Nutrition and got a "B". I deserved it because I could never, no matter how hard I tried bring my grade above the 89% I carried the whole semester in there. So I am a bit discouraged that I have lost my perfect 4.0 GPA.

Then, I got up Friday, got a haircut, came home and finally decided I should start packing. Nothing like waiting to the last minute, but that's me when it comes to these kind of things. I find I'm usually more on top of it when I wait and I don't leave anything behind. As I was packing, Steve and Dave dropped by and brought me a fish sandwich from the Louisburg Picnic.

I found the fish sandwiches this year were not nearly as good as previous years. Probably because the original "secret" recipe has long since passed with the elders of the community down there. On the sandwich I received, the fish didn't even cover the bun that it was on. It was disappointing but I had bigger fish to fry in finishing packing.

Steve surprised me coming home a few hours later. He decided we would leave earlier than his anticipated time of 5:30 or 6:00. This worked out very well as we had to run by Sam's Club and Bass Pro on the way through Springfield and we still made it out of Springfield before 6:00. We had a really good time travelling out to New Mexico. Steve sung and entertained us most of the way across Oklahoma that night. We were all pretty lighthearted and ready for the week ahead. We stopped in Woodward, Oklahoma that night. The motel was not necessarily the cleanest but it gave us a place to lay our heads for much needed sleep at 2:00 in the morning. We got up around 6 the next morning and continued on. We stopped in Guymon, Oklahoma for breakfast a Braum's. I must say it was the worst Braum's we had EVER been in. The floor was disgusting and you had to watch as you walked because it was so slippery that you felt like you were on ice. The food wasn't the greatest either but it filled our bellies and we were off once more.

As we entered New Mexico, nothing really changed much for a few miles. Then as we started our ascent after going through Clayton we could see the tops of the mountains. Antelope were plentiful along our last hour of driving. As we entered Raton, the Sangre de Cristo mountain range loomed in the background. Our Microtel was easily accessible but not available to check into when we first arrived. We met up with the Johnson family for lunch at Arby's which was about the same as the Braum's in Guymon. Also the prices were totally outrageous. It was eight dollars for a combo meal!!!

We went for a drive that afternoon, after stopping at the Visitor's Center. We found the Whittington Center. When the Cook family arrived we took another drive up Hwy 555 to find an abundant herd of elk and numerous mule deer.

Sunday, we practiced and sighted in the guns. Due to the elevation change and the air being thinner the ammunition flies much different than with the thicker air here in the Ozarks.

Sunday night, as the Junior team had gathered in the Coach's room to go over what they could shoot and their limits for the Safety trail we received word that one of the team members lost his Grandpa. The mood changed tremendously as we waited for more information and what was going to happen. Austin decided to stay and compete as long as they could leave and get home in time for the funeral. His dad flew out the next day after opening ceremonies.

The rest of the week was spent scurrying here and there trying to get all eight events done in time for Austin to leave. Each afternoon we became accustomed to a torrential downpour that lasted 30 minutes to an hour. We had hail on Wednesday and didn't get to finish up like we had planned so were on the range early on Thursday. The boys had to finish up orienteering and then do shotgun. We got Austin and his mom on the road before noon, though.

We road tripped up Trinidad, Colorado that afternoon and got our Colorado Small Game Permits for Saturday's prairie dog hunt.

We got back and Terri, Marilyn and I went to the laundry mat to do some laundry. I had packed enough that I really wouldn't have had to do laundry but the Junior and Senior teams wanted to match for closing ceremonies.

The boys done a fantastic job for being a rookie team and with one team member that had a lot of other things on his mind. James-Michael, as an individual won first place in rifle. James-Michael and Tanner, as individuals took first and second place in orienteering and as a team the Junior Division boys won first place in orienteering. I was a VERY proud mom!

This past week I have played a LOT on Facebook and not got a whole lot done. I did reunite with an old friend. A friend that while they were there I didn't realize what I had until it was too late.

I went to Welcome Day yesterday at OTC. I picked up my books and saw the bright, smiling faces of the new incoming freshmen. I listened to a mom and daughter fight over a cell phone as I stood in line waiting for my books. I smiled inwardly. Lots of parents were there with their children.

I remembered that this is a big step for them. One that I didn't make until January of this year and I'm just a wee bit too old to have someone hold my hand BUT it sure would be nice at times.

So here we go....Fall semester has arrived and I am 10 credits from being a sophomore!!!

We’re Ready for the Challenge

2009-07-21T14:54:00.002-05:00

(l-r bottom row, Seiler Johnson, Tanner Johnson, James-Michael Cook, Colton Rader, Reed Wiser and Austin Witt l-r back row, Jr. Coach Tim Johnson, Ryan Jones, Matthew Brooks, Tyler Brigance, Robert Jones and Sr. Coach Gary Brigance)

Are you ready for the Challenge?

By Regina Slack-Rader

Each year over 16,000,000 men and women purchase a hunting license. In 1949, New York was the first state to pass a law requiring hunter safety training. Today, hunter's education is required in all fifty states and provinces. Each year, the states and provinces put on the Youth Hunter Education Challenge for the graduates of the hunter safety program to provide a greater knowledge of what was learned in the classroom and a to provide a more enhanced hands-on skills competition.

In Missouri, the YHEC contest is held in June at the United Sportsman's Club in Jefferson City. Participants range in age from eleven through eighteen years of age and compete individually and as teams. Everyone competes in eight disciplines.

They must shoot a .22 caliber rim fire hunting rifle at silhouettes, a repeating shotgun at sporting clays, a traditional type muzzleloader at swingers and a hunting type bow on a 3-D course.

Contestants also must be able to do an orienteering course which includes direction and distance finding, estimation of distance, map reading, plotting a course, interpreting a map and other general knowledge of maps and symbols.

Each participant must also walk a hunter safety trail. On this trail they will cross obstacles or be presented with a shoot/don't shoot situation. This competition presents the participants with many ethical, legal and safety situations.

Wildlife identification is another important part of this challenge. Contestants are asked to identify wildlife from fur, feather, skull, track, mounts, antler, horn, scat or other signs that wild animals may leave in an outdoors environment.

The final and most crucial component of the competition is the 50 question written test. This test includes questions from the Missouri Hunter Education Student Manual, the Missouri Wildlife Code Book and the Summary Code booklet.

A senior and a junior team from the Fair Grove area competed in the state competition on June 12-14^th. In the senior division, The Missouri Sharp Shooters, led by Gary Brigance, consisted of Matthew Brooks (Fair Grove), Tyler Brigance (Fair Grove), Ryan Jones (Fair Grove), Robert Jones (Fair Grove) and Derek Wilson (Jefferson City) placed second with only 99 points separating them from the first place team. In the junior division, The Missouri Tack Drivers, led by Tim Johnson, consisted of Tanner Johnson (Fair Grove), James-Michael Cook (Fair Grove), Colton Rader (Buffalo), Austin Witt (Bois'd Arc), and Reed Wiser (Jefferson City) took top honors as the first place team. Tanner Johnson also won the Junior Division Overall Champion and James-Michael Cook won the award for having the Highest Combined Responsibility Events score. Seiler Johnson from Fair Grove competed as an individual at the competition also.

These area youth will be advancing to the International Youth Hunter Education Challenge in Raton, New Mexico. This event takes place July 27^th through July 31^st.

If you would like to learn more about the Youth Hunter Education Challenge competition you can find this information on the web at http://www.moyhec.com/ , contact a Missouri Department of Conservation Outdoor Education Center near you, or a local hunter education instructor.

So much to do...

2009-07-14T18:23:00.002-05:00

I'm on overload!!

With summer courses winding down, I am definitely ready for a breather. Actually, I'm just ready to get this International YHEC shoot over with and for life to regain some sort of semblence.

I was informed by my Nutrition teacher yesterday that I have the absolute worst diet he has ever seen. My diet has taken a backseat in the last 30 days. With school Monday through Thursday followed by practice every evening until at least 10pm, I have had no time to cook for myself or anyone else for that matter. The past two weeks have been spent trying to collect donations to help with registration and travel expenses. We are still short of our goal by about $500. I have this week and next left and very few places left on my list to go see. This has taken all my spare time. I haven't even got to study like I like to for my two classes. I'm making a B in Nutrition and I'm not happy with that. I like two points having an A and I know that with some effort I can make a last ditch effort and pull it out.

Today, I took Colton to school with me. Actually, Colton will be accompanying me for the final weeks of classes. He developed an attitude with his coach and he also sluffed a test off that he should have known by heart and I'm not happy with him. He gets to set in class or in the hallway and look up ALL the answers to the questions.

After class, we went back to Fair Grove and picked up James-Micheal and Tanner then came back to Springfield to shoot archery at Archery Quest. I am half tempted to take my bow and just go shoot by myself for a stress reliever. I have a new bow that I haven't shot more than a handful of times.

The boys wanted to go eat but I took them all back to Fair Grove. I didn't know if I wanted to feed three teenage boys. I figured they may have used all the spare cash that I had on me, though the temptation of Mexican Villa was definitely a strong one.

Off to do the laundry, some Chemistry and a Nutrition paper that I can't put off any longer.

I shall return to the blog world in a few weeks on a more frequent basis. I do enjoy reading everybodies posts in the wee hours of morning or late at night. Thank you Kristie for the beautiful YouTube video of the Baptism on Sunday. I miss all of you and Steve has said that after this shoot is over we will be coming back. I think that will help add some order in our lives.

Miss ya'll!!!

Whining

2009-06-20T11:29:00.003-05:00

I sat in the floor and cried. I cried until there wasn't anymore tears left.

Colton used to have a hamster named Lil Bitty when he was about four. She wasn't named that because she was teeny tiny. She was named that because she was just that... a bitty.

Bitty had the same routine. Every night she would get up, go to her litter box (yes, she was potty trained), roam around inside her cage until we noticed her; then, I'd put her in her ball where she traveled aimlessly for an hour around the house. She would then bite me or at least try, as I put her back in her freshly cleaned home and she would eat, then go to sleep.

My life is a lot like Bitty's was. I get up, go to the bathroom, travel aimlessly for about an hour (drive to Springfield), then eat and go to bed. The only thing is, I have no one to clean my house. I have to do it. Lately, I haven't had time and this morning I'm just feeling was overwhelmed.

Steve left mad at me. Evidently, I'm a negative person. I'm also a smartass. He's fed up with all of it!!! I started to text him after he left and ask if that made me a negative smartass but I let it go.

Colton is sick. Heaven help any woman that ever marries this child. He is the most humongous baby when he is sick. I have to take his temperature at least every 15 minutes. And when he says the word, Mom. He sounds just like a baby calf. I have told him that at least 100 times in the last day. I keep asking where the baby calf I hear bellaring is.

On top of this, he is missing practice today. I figure I have a few families totally whizzed at me over that. Too bad.

Dad started cutting hay this morning. We're all hoping that we don't have any pop up showers. Colton is worried he won't be able to rake on Monday.

I'm beginning to think I should have taken the summer off.

Paden broke Mom's toe last week, on top of everything else. Broke it clean in half. He's such a little brute.

Somedays, I just feel like I'm only around for laundry, cleaning and cooking. Today is one of those. I think I know how the house slaves used to feel. I told Colton, I should just get a real good tan and an apron and he could ring a bell and could start answering all of them, "Yes, Master". Or maybe in Paden's case, "Yes, your Royal Highness".

Steve doesn't help. He sits around and watches television. Gripes about the house being a wreck. Gripes if I miss a couple questions on a test. Gripes if there isn't any money in the checking account.

Somehow, he has developed this thing that I shop all the time. I do seem to shop a lot lately. The thing is, I don't enjoy anything I have been shopping for. I guess maybe I should start shooting that muzzle loader, rifle, and shotgun. I guess I should be the one going to Colorado Elk hunting this fall. I guess I should be the one getting all the new hunting crap.

I'm ready to be through with school. I want to start having a paycheck where I can buy my own truck. One that I actually want. If I want to spend money on something, it'll be my money and I won't feel bad for spending it on me.

Me, well, I'll quit whining now. I have a load of laundry to fold and I think I may have built up a few tears that need to be shed.

Blue Plate Monday ~ Vegetable Salad Recipe

2009-06-01T16:51:00.004-05:00

It's Monday and we all know that means Blue Plate Monday at (un)Deniably Domestic. Kelly has cooked up a beautiful cherry pie and it has the most gorgeous crust on it. Please follow her link and go check it out.

I have a couple friends that follow my blog that I sincerely wish would join us for Blue Plate Monday. I know that one in particular could produce recipes for some wonderful homecooking for the hectic lifestyle. By hectic I mean, farmers. Dairy farmers, to be precise. There are four lady dairy farmers from here in Buffalo. They are some wonderful, talented ladies and I am so honored to have them in my life, though I don't get to spend as much time as I would like visiting with them. I very much respect each of these wonderful ladies. Each has something that they are very good at and together they make the most awesome team and family.

Now, onto the story of my recipe...

I can remember my grandma making this every summer. In July we always had the Wing Family reunion that we went to, which was my Grandma's mothers side of the family. This salad was a popular dish and she would make up a super large bunch of it because she would never have leftovers and we liked it at home too.

Today, her sister makes this dish a lot and takes it to many church dinners and also to what is left of the Wing family reunion.

I was craving this salad this weekend. I barbequed for the boys on Saturday and made Grandma's Potato Salad, Vegetable Salad, Corn, and Baked Beans. We had fresh leaf lettuce and radishes from the garden to round out our meal. Yes, I know that sounds like tons of salads but it is the time of year that I keep a couple made up in the fridge. This always makes dinner so much easier if you are in rush too because you only have to worry about the meat to go with it.

I'm sorry that I can't post a picture of my salad. I still haven't picked up that camera battery. My Wal-Mart doesn't carry it and I forgot to stop in Springfield. I also refuse to buy another one at Radio Shack if it's not going to last longer than a couple weeks and a handful of uses.

Alice's Vegetable Salad

1 can Shoe Peg Corn (white)

1 can French Style Green Beans

1 can Peas and Carrots

1 cup celery, diced fine

1 small onion, diced fine

1/2 to 1 cup green pepper, diced fine

1/2 cup red pimento peppers

2/3 cup vinegar

1/3 cup oil

3/4 cup sugar

Mix vegetables together, then add oil, vinegar and sugar.

Refridgerate.

One other thing...

2009-05-31T16:33:00.002-05:00

The Miley Cyrus song that plays...

Well, I was asked why I have Miley on my blog and the answer is this. It's not that I particularly care for her. It's the song itself. I couldn't stand it when I first heard it. Then I listened to the lyrics the next time I heard it. I'm not sure that it fits her to sing it, I think it should be an slightly older singer singing it but the lyrics are what I love. It really hit home and I have made it my theme song.

I fight that stupid voice inside my head telling me that I can't make it all the time and I just keep my head high and keep trudging on. My life most days feels like an uphill battle but I keep climbing and that's why this song is on here.

Hope that clarifies everything for the person that asked.

Two

2009-05-31T16:14:00.003-05:00

Two weeks. Two weeks? When did that two weeks go into fast forward? I went through my second set of pre-semester jitters Friday. I went to campus for a little bit and came home a laid on the couch sick. I took some Excedrin and in a few hours I was better. Steve reminded me that I done this before Spring sememster also.

I look around and I have two, yes two room left to clean. Colton is on his own at this point but Paden and the living room definitely have got to have help. Colton sprung two laundry baskets of laundry from his room on me. Where did all that come from? I have done laundry almost daily for the last two weeks. Not over the top, throw the baby in the washing machine to stomp it down so you can get more in, laundry. Just regular loads. You know, daily towels from showers for one adult, one pre-teen, and one little person. And the little person tries to never wear anything but underwear so he usually don't dirty too much. He does like to change underwear almost everytime he goes but he's getting better. I let him do it. At least he has clean undies.

My kitchen is pretty sparkly and even after cooking a few meals I have kept it clean. I'm amazed!

I've decided to read two chapters in each of my two classes that I am taking this summer. I think that would be reasonable. I've never had summer courses so I don't know how many chapters we will actually cover during a class period but I'm sure I'm going to learn tomorrow.

Colton is at YHEC practice. He was going to practice two disciplines today. When I talked to Steve he was working on his compass and orienteering. He's pretty handy at it and if I was lost in the woods, I'd trust him to get us home with his compass.

We have approximately two weeks until his State YHEC contest. We practice two times a week with the group.

I have been farming today on FarmTown on Facebook. I got to upgrade my farm. This is my second upgrade in the last two days. I am hoping to upgrade again in two more days.

I have gotten back into contact with so many high school friends since joining Facebook but in the last two weeks I have really gotten to find a whole bunch and my friends list has more than doubled.

Well, I better go and clean my two rooms, so I can read my two chapters in each of my two books before my two wayward fellows return home.

Everybody check in tomorrow and see what I've cooked up for Blue Plate Monday with Kelly at (un)Deniably Domestic. I won't be creative with pictures because I am minus a camera battery. Mine went kaput. It's on my list of things I need to pick up at the store for Thursday.

See ya tomorrow!

RITZ Broccoli Casserole recipe at Kraftfoods.com

2009-05-28T19:06:00.001-05:00

RITZ Broccoli Casserole recipe at Kraftfoods.com

Shared via AddThis

Just Rambling...

2009-05-28T17:40:00.004-05:00

I have a lot of things I can talk about but none that is really important. I have been so busy this last two weeks but I feel as if I have accomplished nothing.

I started cleaning last week and so far I've only made it through two rooms. My kitchen is looking mighty Spic n Span. (pun) My bathroom is clean and tidy and so many things that needed tossed in medicine cabinets and makeup drawers are now gone. I found a new cleaning solution by Mr. Clean that I absolutely love and as soon as I get my camera battery tomorrow I will put a picture on here.

Paden's mess has been moved into the hallway and into the living room. Well, I should say most of it. I really thought I would get his room finished and I have got to by Sunday night. Somewhere between shooting practice on Saturday and shooting practice on Sunday I have to get that done.

Bandit is making himself right at home and has fit in with Shadow, Hank & Frank quite nicely. I take that back. He has fit in well with everyone but Hank. Hank, he's kind of an outlaw. He really doesn't like anybody. Yes, I have four dogs during the day. Mom or Dad will bring the Bassetts over and put them in my yard during the day because the lober heads are like any other Bassett and have a mind of their own and don't listen, so they get to spend the day in my yard cause it's bigger than their pen.

My desk needs a thorough cleaning. I have piles here. Piles there. I have acquired things that I'm really not sure where they came from. I'm keeping all my notebooks from my first semester. Two of the classes I take this fall build on two of the classes I took this spring and I figure I might refer back to these notes.

I have discovered Facebook. I have had such a joyous time hooking back up with my high school classmates. Most of us still live around here but we never run into each other. I have became a FarmTown addict on Facebook, too. My brain is going to turn to mush if I play it much more.

Steve is out of town until sometime Sunday, most likely late Sunday evening.

Now, the news is talking about hugging being a problem in schools. What is the deal? Why can people not hug? This is stupid. Do we not, as a nation, have other things to focus our attentions on? Is hugging so wrong? Why don't the schools focus their attention on providing an above average education to the students and not worry about who's hugging who in the hallway? Is the issue at hand, someones going to feel they are not getting the appropriate amount of hugs?

Tomorrow, I have seven stops to make in Springfield. I'm going to work on whittling those all down. I have five I must make. The bike shop and going by Cox may have to wait. That's all on the south side of Springfield and otherwise I just need center city or eastern Springfield.

I also need to read at least a couple chapters in each of my classes so that I will be prepared for Monday. I may do that later tonight. I watched Marley and Me last night. It wasn't as good as the book, but what movie is? I started crying about 30 minutes before the dog ever died because I knew what was coming. I went to bed all red, puffy eyed, and sniffling. I woke up with a stopped up nose because of it but it went away soon after waking up.

I need to help find six more people to make up a Hunter's Ed class for this weekend. Anybody that's interested let me know. Remember your child must be 11 years old. It will be in Fair Grove if we can find enough people.

Now, that wraps up my hectic life. How is everybody in blog land?

Blue Plate Monday-Shepherd's Pie

2009-05-25T19:40:00.008-05:00

Good Memorial Day Monday!!!

I was happy to see Kelly over at (un)DeniablyDomestic posted her Blue Plate Monday special last night. Come on and join us as we dig in the recipe boxes and find some scrumptiouly good meals to serve to your loved ones that we serve to ours.

Here's how my day went:

I went to Bass Pro today and fought all the tourists to find Colton some stuff he needed for YHEC and a new pair of hiking boots because his foot is growing so fast.

We stopped in Fair Grove on the way home and Steve got a new dog. He's a Blue Heeler named Bandit. He was a pup out of one of our friends dogs' and they had not been able to give him away so Steve decided he needed him. He seems to be pretty laid back and has slept all afternoon since he had a bath in my bedroom floor by Steve's side of the bed. I'll post pictures later but if anybody would like a little female they have one left.

So, anyway after spending way over the alotted amount at Bass Pro, Steve has to take leftovers for a couple days until payday. So, I was going to make Alabama French Toast for dinner but that changed. Instead, I made a Shepherd's Pie.

Colton, really enjoyed this and it should be relatively easy to pack and reheat for lunch tomorrow for Steve. I like making dishes like this because everything is almost all in one bowl. You just have to serve with a salad and dessert and you're finished.

I have made Shepherd's Pies before and basically I just made this one up as I went. So here it goes.

Gina's Shepherds Pie

2#'s Ground Beef

1 onion, chopped

Salt and Pepper, to taste

1 can each

Green Beans

Peas

Carrots

Corn

1 box Garlic Roasted Mashed Potatoes

1) You brown the hamburger and onions. And you fix the potatoes, at the same time in another pan.

2) Then, I greased a 9 x 13, casserole dish. I put the ground beef and onion mixture on the bottom of the casserole dish.

3) Then, I layered the canned vegetables.

3) I placed, the mashed potatoes on top and placed it in the oven at 350 degrees.

4) I cooked this until it was bubbly and the potatoes were starting to brown. If you want browner peaks you can broil for the last couple of minutes but I have a gas oven and I hate to use the broiler.

5) Yell, Dinner's Ready!!! Watch the troops head for the kitchen.

Blogs...

2009-05-22T09:03:00.004-05:00

This morning I was going to get started cleaning Paden's bedroom, since I don't have either child here. Instead, I sat down at my desk and began following blogs. I started out with a friends daughter's blog. She is so excited that FINALLY they have a house. It's a long, complicated story and one that I am so glad has started it's final chapter. Soon, this group of lovely, hard working, God fearing women will be in their home after such a long drawn out, up hill battle. From there, I followed a link to another blog. Maybe some of you don't know this but I love to embroider quilt blocks. I also like cross stitch. Time for that has been short and almost non existent since begining my hectic life in January. But, I still love it and will pick it up when I get time. It's a medicine for me. So, I found this awesome quilting blog, then another, then another. The thing that I found so funny is that each blog that I clicked, I discovered they were nurses or healthcare workers. Deja vu'. Then, I also discovered that many were from Texas. My dream state. I always wanted to go to Texas and live. I will someday, too. My two best friends live in Texas.

So, I followed the blogs, and I ended up in Texas. It's amazing the people that you can meet here. It's even more amazing the talent that these people have. I've checked my blog daily to see what new, exciting things everybody was doing. I haven't took the time to post but I do stop by.

This morning, I woke up in a mood. Not a real good mood, mind you. I made some decisions this morning. I will blog more, I will comment more, I will make time for the little things more, I will keep my house clean. Okay, so maybe the last one might not happen. I keep thinking, in two years, I can hire a maid. (lol) Probably not, but in two years hopefully (everybody cross their finger) I will be living in something that has a foundation under it and is a lot larger and maybe, just maybe it will be in the great state of Texas.

Anxiously waiting

2009-05-13T07:04:00.002-05:00

It's really windy out this morning. The sun's beginning to peak it's sleepy head over the eastern horizon. The boys' Bassett Hounds are barking, the birds are chirping and the cars on 65 Highway are zooming South starting the morning commute.

Me? Well, I'm sitting here typing. My stomach is sort of tied in knots. Today's my first two finals. I have never had a final before in my life. I'm kind of scared and really anxious. I'm waiting patiently to hear from the Junior High English teacher from Buffalo to see if she liked my English final. I already have it printed out and loaded in my notebook. My desk is askew with textbooks. Textbooks that won't be making the journey with me today. That seems odd. I'm not packing my backpack today either, which will seem even more odd. All that is making the trip today is me, my calculator and a couple of pencils and a pen. Oh yeah, and my English Final. Ms. A might give me a look if I was to forget it.

See ya in the funny papers!

My Journey...

2009-05-12T10:28:00.004-05:00

I passed Human anatomy yesterday!!! (With an "A"!) I now only have two finals that I have to study for because the English final is laying on my desk waiting for it's final stamp of approval before being handed in tomorrow. I have an "A" in Psychology and I plan on it staying that way. That's the only one that I have to study EXTREMELY hard for. Algebra I have studied most of the weekend for and I feel pretty comfortable with it, I will probably review a little bit this afternoon though because my final in it is tomorrow. I also have an "A" in it.

So, I have "A's" across the board. These little houselike letters were not easy to come by. Like building a house, these little fellows are a lot of work, sweat and a few tears. And now that this first semester is almost complete, it's like I'm standing back and looking at the foundation that has just been completed.

I was never a straight "A" student in school but I never applied myself like I do now. I have three finals left and the semester is done. In a way, it's kind of bittersweet. I'm not that scared, woman walking into the unknown now. I'm more confident. I know that I can acheive straight A's and I also know that even if I butcher one test along the way it isn't the end of the world. I also know that you study everything, not just what you went over in class.

This summer semester is going to be some framework. I have a chemistry class and a nutrition class. Yes, I know I'm crazy for putting a chemistry class on my summer schedule. I know that I need to get from point A to point B, as quick as possible, but I also know that if you cut corners your house will fall down.

I have also made the decision to stay at OTC for my ASN in Nursing. I went to St. John's and met with them and even though I would like to go over there, I don't particularly care for the late night classes. Something about starting class at 7am for clinicals and ending at 10:30pm in a lecture setting gives me chills. I would never make it home!! I'd have to nap in the parking lot!

I had mapped a pathway when I started OTC, now I'm moving the brush and finding there's a road hidden where I thought there was only a path. It's two years to an ASN, it doesn't matter which way I go. I'm going the path I started down to begin with. Then, I'll cross the BSN bridge when I get there. (There's a pun there, by the way.)

I've climbed my first hill, I got started. Now, I'm sure there will be some more peaks and valleys along the way but the boys got me new boots for Mother's Day and I've got lots of tread and traction. Bring it on life. Here I come!!!

Welcome Baby Aubree

2009-05-11T17:08:00.002-05:00

Introducing Miracle Baby #2... Aubree Marie Carter

Ms. Aubree arrived today @ 2:44 pm. She was a whopping 6 lbs and 11 ounces and was 18 1/2" long.

You may wonder why I called her Miracle Baby. Well, she was born to two absolutely adoring parents that were told they would never have children. Her mother had internal "plumbing" issues and her very, proud Daddy was injured by schrapnel in an explosion while in Iraq. I'm sure big brother Shawn Andrew is glad she's here, too.

This is Steve's great neice, by the way. But since I don't have any sweet, little girls to lavish in Barbie's and baby dolls, I have already informed Mom and Daddy to watch out!!!

Just venting...

2009-05-11T14:08:00.002-05:00

Sometimes you encounter people in your life that are just plain irritating. I know that I should just learn to let it go and turn the other cheek but these people just worm theirselves under your skin.

People that drive in the left lane, for instance. The left lane is the "fast" lane or the passing lane. If you are going to go 55 mph on 65 mph highway, DO NOT drive in the left lane.

People that have always been through the same thing that you are going through but it's always 10 times worse. That just blows my mind. These people have evidently had an extremely tiring life.

People that like to throw stones but when the stone is thrown back, they are the victim.

People that have an opinion about everything, even when it's not wanted.

People that have to copy everything you do. I can't stand people that do not have an original thought. (That is one reason I will not live inside the city limits of a small town again.)

People that have to have something wrong with them. You know, whatever happened to just having a headache? Or a stomach ache? Or just being tired? Why do people now have to believe that their is an underlying health issue and remain adamant about it if medical tests prove otherwise?

Why is it that when people suffer a devastating loss due to storms, like an entire house or a school, others have to demean this by loosing a tree in their front yard or a plant from their garden? I'm sure that anyone of those people would be glad to have their home back and give the plant instead.

People who don't study but expect an A. That's annoying. It kills me to walk out of class and hear people going on about how they flunked a test but yet they never cracked the book or paid attention or showed up in class. If you don't work for it, it's not going to be handed to you. HELLO?

I'm sure I could go on forever and rant and rave but I won't. I feel better now. Thanks, for letting me vent.

Blue Plate Monday - Mountain Food

2009-05-10T17:42:00.011-05:00

It's Blue Plate Monday

Over at (un)Deniably Domestic, Ms. Kelly is cooking up something good I'm sure. She has a few of us dedicated "Blue Platers" that love to share recipes and we would love it if you would come join in. So follow her plate and come on over. She gave away a beautiful handmade scrap basket apron last week in her Blue Plate Drawing. So let's see what she has special cooked up to giveaway now. Though just joining in this weekly fellowship of recipe exchanging is worth it to me.

My grandma raised six kids and me. We lived on a farm 6 miles east of Buffalo. Grandma still lives at the farm along with one of my uncles. My mom goes out daily to take care of her.

Saturday, I made Kelly's Biscuit Doughnuts for the boys. Colton, Paden and Steve have decided that it is a must keep recipe. So Sunday when Colton went to Grandma's with my mom he had to tell them all about my doughnuts that I made.

When I got out there later, we got to talking about recipes and things that were easy to make. See, I remember growing up Grandma always had a sit down dinner every night. We always had meat of some sort, vegetables, bread and some sort of desert, too. In the summer, we had stuff from the garden and lots of wilted lettuce.

The recipe that I'm sharing today is one of Grandma's. Now understand, it's like everything else of hers. She just whipped it up. It's not really measured and needless to say. That's how I fixed it, too.

My uncles named this recipe, "Mountain Food". Even though this is Grandma's recipe Grandpa would make it when they went hunting out in Colorado in a big Dutch oven over open fire. It's really easy and the boys loved it.

Make a Smilebox recipe

Storms hit Southwest Missouri - again

2009-05-09T07:47:00.003-05:00

Yesterday morning started warm, too warm. I turned on the telly switching back and forth between 3 and 10. A wall of red was north of me and a wall of red was entering Missouri from Kansas to the south. I knew if I left, right then, I could get to campus before the storm hit. Once on the road, I made a brief pit stop at McD's for my mocha and a bacon, egg and cheese McGriddle. The traffic was a pain leaving Buffalo. Everybody was sight seeing the clouds that were rolling in from the west. Every five minutes, I said, "Please, just let me get to campus. Just hold out til I get on the lot. And please take care of my boys." I hit a few LARGE drops of rain between Fair Grove and Diamond K. It sounded almost like hail hitting the windows. The drops were brief. Almost, as if, taunting me. Once again, I would repeat my previous chant. At Fair Grove, I hauled butt to Springfield. I know that on a good day, I can make it from Fair Grove to Springfield between 10 and 15 minutes. I made sure, even with the increasing wind speed, that it was a good day. I was in the left hand running my usual speed. I slipped past a lot of traffic and once in Springfield, slid into the right lane and up the ramp at Division. I got through town fairly quickly and to the OTC campus. I started to park in my usual spot under a tree on the south side of the lot. I changed my mind as I looked at the tree which had been split earlier, most likely by the ice storm. The sky was the most eery green. Somebody on the radio compared it to pea soup and I agreed with them. I remember reading a few days earlier that the color of a green sky most likely meant tornadoes or at the very least, severe storms. I changed parking spots and proceeded towards the door. As I got halfway across the parking lot, the storm sirens in Springfield started blaring. I continued inside. I went to my normal spot and sat down. In a few minutes everybody was evacuated to the hallway where I was. I texted Steve to keep him apprised of what was going on. From my spot, where I sat rooted, I could see the trees outside whip and dance; touching the ground at times. I felt most of the younger kids around me were really not taking this seriously. Some even tried to leave. Later, I heard one say, "That was the longest tornado drill I have ever been through."

So, once we were released and back in class, I heard about Fair Grove. I immediately started texting Marilyn and Terri checking on some of Colton's YHEC teammates. Little did I know that Colton, himself, was in the path of the tornado. As I went through my day, Colton was experiencing being caught, away from Mema, by himself, in the storm.

When I got home, Mom told me about the excitement they had at Nanny's earlier in the day. At my house, we were lucky and didn't experience the really bad weather; just downpours, flooding and some wind. Dad kept Paden calm. So calm in fact, he slept through the worst of it.

BUT...Colton, well he had a little more excitement than that. My uncle, as some know used to have a small engine shop. Well, Colton goes down to the shop usually when he goes out to Grandma's with mom and he piddles and tinkers down there. You know, boy stuff? Well he had came to the house and checked in and decided to go back. It was raining but not real hard...yet. He made it back to the shop and then all hell broke loose. It started pouring. Mom said at first it was from the east. She knows this because she had to go shut the glass on Grandma's screen door. Then just as quick as it came from the east it switched to the the south. Mom could not see across the parking lot to the shop. Colton couldn't see Mom's car parked about 15 feet away from him. He watched the rain for awhile, then we he watched it spin in what he calls a mini tornado on the parking lot he backed away from the door.

Around that time a car appeared at the front door of the shop. Colton peeked outside and let a woman in. Her car had apparently been blown into the ditch. She shoved it in reverse and backed out of the ditch. Barry's driveway was the first that she seen and she actually thought it was a highway (because it's paved). She asked Colton if he was alone and he told her, "No, Redly is here with me." Red is my Uncle Terry's Redtick Coon Hound. He has been Colton's protector since Colton was a baby. Red used to walk across the field daily to check on Colton when he played in the backyard when we lived out that way. Red is now really old, about 15. He has been hit twice by cars, that we know of. He limps...a lot. He can't see out of one eye. He's basically deaf. But he still thinks he can protect Colton. Well, anyway, I guess it proceeded to be pretty bad. They tried to figure out where they could hide. The decided on the hallway and found a piece of plywood to put over the top of them. When the rain and wind let up, they made a dash for her car and drove to the front gate. Mom and Grandma said they were both scared to death when they got to the house.

Being a mom I said, "Colton, you got in a car with a perfect stranger." Calmly he looked at me and said, "Mom, we'd been through a tornado together. I figured it would be alright." He also assured me she wasn't a "perfect" stranger because she lived down the street from his uncle that drives a gray pickup. She was Bonnie Strickland's neice and she was related to Uncle Ray. That made her family in his eyes. Besides that, she had a 13 year old, an eight year old and a four year old.

After watching the news last night, I realized how close both of us had came. If I hadn't have left when I did, I would have been caught in it in Springfield. Or, if I had decided to skip my English class because it was optional yesterday, I would have been right in the middle of it at Fair Grove. Either way, God was looking out for all of us yesterday.

Blue Plate Monday-Come Join the Fun

2009-05-03T21:19:00.011-05:00

Ms. Kelly is still serving up wonderously good dishes over at the (un)deniablydomestic site. She's also having a little giveaway to boot. So come join us in our fun search of easy, breezy recipes that we love to share.

So here is my recipe for the week. I sure do hope you like it because my boys (ALL of them) did. I received this recipe a couple weeks ago and when I made it last Tuesday the boys cleaned it all up. I didn't have so much as a smidge in the dish. I served this with a loaf of garlic and cheese bread and a salad. It's easy, quick and most of all...YUMMY!!

Lasagna Rollups

Ingredients:

Sauce~

1 lb ground beef

1 lb Italian sausage

1 small onion (chopped fine)

2 garlic cloves (minced)

1 jar spaghetti sauce

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp Italian seasoning

Filling~

1 carton cottage cheese

1 pkg Kraft Shredded Italian Four Cheese Mixture (reserve some to sprinkle on top)

1 egg (slightly beaten)

1 tbsp fresh parsley

1/4 tsp onion powder

6 lasagna noodles (cooked)

Cooking Instructions:

In a large skillet cook beef, sausage, onion and garlic until the beef and sausage are no longer pink. Drain any excess fat from the pan. Add the spaghetti sauce, Italian seasoning, and salt. Simmer for 10 minutes. Spread half of the meat sauce on the bottom of a greased 9" baking dish.

In a bowl, combine cottage cheese, mixed cheese, egg, parsley and onion powder. Spread mixture evenly over each lasagna noodle.

Roll up and place seam side down in rows in the baking dish. Top with remaining sauce.

Bake at 375 degrees for 30-35 minutes. About 5 minutes before the dish is finished cooking remove from the oven and top with the remainder of the cheese. Return to oven and cook until the cheese has melted.

Free write

2009-04-29T09:03:00.001-05:00

When I was dating Steve he wanted to take me on a trip to North Carolina. So, I went. We went to Ashville to the Biltmore Estate that was built by George Vanderbilt. On the Estate they have turned what was once the dairy barn into a winery. They had free wine tasting if you bought this $20.00 wineglass and of course Steve had to sample every wine in the winery. As we were walking past this outdoor area that the kids were in we saw a barrell that you could stomp grapes in and then have your footprints made. My silly boyfriend had to jump right in line and have it done. This started a new thing for the adults. When he was done having his footprints made the line was full of adults and all the kids were looking at them like they had gone mad.
We drove around the Blue Ridge Parkway. In one spot you can pull off and walk up this trail to a little church that sets way up on the top of the mountain. All you can see from the roadway is the cross that is on top of the steeple. Steve wanted to hike up the mountain the four miles to see it. As we got on the trail he was walking faster than I was as I was enjoying the nature and looking for bears that I knew would be around to eat me when a little snake went skating across my foot. Steve has reenacted my reaction for many a listener to this day. He does this little dance and yells….SNAKE as he dances around crazily. He swears that was the reaction I had but I’m sure it was more of fleeing reaction as I remember reaching the car way before he ever did. He thinks it was my imagination too because he never found a snake. I personally think it was a python that somebody had turned loose because it probably had gotten to big for its cage.

Where I'd Rather be...

2009-04-29T09:02:00.001-05:00

Right now I would rather be seven years in the future. School would be behind me and I would starting my day in the beautiful state of Colorado. At this hour of the morning I would be starting for work to make rounds at the hospital for a awesome cardiologist. The view on the drive to work would be serene. You would be able to see the snow glistening as the first rays of sun peaks over the tops of the Rockies. It would look like a painter had taken a paintbrush and lightly added some oranges and reds to the soft white.
As I cruised down the road I would be able to see the sheepherders watching the sheep in the low country. In a few weeks they would be getting ready to start their trek up the mountain with their herd. I would see elk and mule deer grazing in the meadows and stealing hay from the cattle on some of the ranches. The fields would not yet be green but you would be able to see hints of green mixed with the old yellowed grass from last year.
A big bull elk that would get every hunters blood pumping raises his head as I go by. From his mouth hangs a clump of hay. The red white faced cattle seem to ignore the intruders as if they were meant to be there. Up the road, the road curves around the jutting rocks at the base of the mountain. Thick, clear icicles blinking as you go by.
The river that runs along the southern side of the road seems to be flowing backwards as it runs past the many rocks in the creekbed. You can see the trout leaping out as if saying, “good morning.”
The radio is turned low to a country station. The melody of a new country artist crooning to her listeners. The hum of the V8 engine as it climbs from the valley up the mountian. You can hear the transmission lightly shifting as it begins to pull the long hill in front of us.
Even though the temperature is in the 30’s outside, I have to crack the window. I love to smell the pines along the winding stretch of road. The smell of nature. Even the creek beside the road seems to be wafting with aroma. Not fishy, just fresh. The vanillaroma air freshner hanging from the rearview mirror is amplified by the cold, brisk air flowing into the Expedition. It still has a new car scent to it that on warm days when it’s been sitting in the sun you can smell. The cup of coffee in the cup holder wafts through the vehicle.
The steering wheel is firm but smooth under my fingers. The leather seats with seat warmers feel like melted butter and envelope me as I drive. The scratch of the new sweater I put on this morning is rough against my skin. As I drive along, I take a drink of the coffee that I made before I left. It’s smooth and bold as it slides along my tongue and down my throat. You can taste a hint of chocolate and a touch of whipped cream where I added it to my cup. As I finish the coffee, I reach for my wintergreen Eclipse gum. The taste overcoming the coffee and burning my nostrils because the wintergreen is so strong.

The effects of being a chocolate

2009-04-29T09:01:00.001-05:00

Hershey chocolate which contains flavanol rich cocoa has been found to be rich in antioxidants and oleic acids that provide a heart healthy alternative to Smarties Candies.

Flavanol, which is used in Hershey’s Cocoa, has an aspirin like effect on platelets in the blood. This reduces the amount of clotting. This would help with any internal clotting and reduce a person’s risk of stroke or heart attack. The flavanol also reduces both the systolic and diastolic blood pressures.
Oleic acid, which is also found in the cocoa, helps to lower bad cholesterol.
Antioxidants found in the Hershey milk chocolate also keep chemicals from destroying cells and DNA.

Using senses to describe

2009-04-29T09:00:00.000-05:00

Papers were laying all askew on top and around the big brown desk. A brown stain formed a circle were he had spilled his coffee earlier. A couple books that he was studying from were thrown haphazardly here and there amid the papers. From the edge of a book you could see the tip of a pen peeking out as if saying, “Here I am.”

The frost on the windows was a definite indicator of what was out there. As I looked across the pasture towards the woods, I could see the cattle slowing coming down the hill and with each step they took their breath hung heavily in the air. The pond had a steam rising from it that was as thick as fog. The dog was amusing himself by jumping here in there in the tall snowbanks, rooting in the snow then bounding off again.

As she walked, with each step you could see it building within her and before you knew it she would be like dynamite. Her face was beet red. Her eyes were drawn and tight. How dare anyone tell her she couldn’t do something. Well, she’d show them. As she walked down the sidewalk people that seen her seemed to just part and move out of her way. Her body language and her facial expression was all they needed to convince them not to say anything to her today. The people that knew her best didn’t want to feel the wrath of her sharp tongue and they knew that the least little thing might set her off.

As it streaked downthe track I had to do a double take. Was that my sixteen year old that I had just seen go past me? It looked like a blue blur but yet that horse on the grille was branded like a hot iron in my mind. Yes, he had inherited his mothers heavy foot. I can only imagine how the speed had him pushed back into the seat. The sound caught up with the car seconds after it had already passed.

As she paced the room with her ruler you could hear her smacking students on the back of the hand. Poor little Sally, she couldn’t help it if she was left handed. She was the talk of the students. Nobody ever wanted in her class. Kids would cry and parents would beg with the principal to put there kids in another classroom. Her class almost never got to have recess and if they did half of the class had to stand against the wall for at least fifteen minutes before they could play. If the kids made a peep walking down the hall or were the slightest bit out of line. The whole class was punished and recess time was spent practicing staying in line.

Public School

2009-04-29T08:59:00.002-05:00

My experience with public school greatly differed from the education that Sedgewick Bell received. I don’t recall ever studying Roman History. From the movie the teacher, Mr. Hundert, cared about the education of the pupils. He took the time to get to know each individual and he called them by name. I feel that I didn’t have any teachers that were so impassioned about their career as Mr. Hundert was. I do feel that I had teachers, as Mr. Hundert, that picked a favorite. Someone that they wanted to exceed and do well and that they gave special attention to that student. I would loved to have had an education like those kids had. In public school most times you are passed over. You must reach a set of goals supplied by the state and most teachers only strive to meet those goals. They do not try to surpass them as in a public teacher’s word, “They do not have the time.” I have seen far to many students leave the public school that could not read at level, count back change properly or numerous other little things that each will use in everyday life. The public school system is failing our children.

Significant Event

2009-04-29T08:59:00.001-05:00

I think the most significant event in my life was losing my grandpa when I was 16. At that point, I took on a more grown up air. It felt as if my childhood had been stolen from me. Sixteen is when you are supposed to be starting to date, learning to drive, not dealing with death. My whole life changed the year I turned 16. Two weeks after I turned 16, my mom got married. Three weeks after I turned 16 that’s when my grandpa died.I didn’t know how to cope with my feelings. I pushed people away that I had been close to. I never really turned rebellious until I was 18 but up until that point things just built and built and then like a volcano that was under pressure it all came spewing forth. They say you go through stages to cope with death and I think I was stuck somewhere in a stage for a while. I was probably in my 20’s before I actually dealt with my feelings. I can remember going to my grandpa’s grave and crying for what seemed like hours

In class writing

2009-04-29T08:58:00.000-05:00

I can’t believe I’m in college. My first day went not so smoothly. We airlifted my dad to Cox South hospital where he had to have a pacemaker put in. I couldn’t find any parking. I was three minutes late to my first class which happens to be English. Today I lost the wheel off my backpack…stupid thing. I have 32 pounds of books to carry. I seem to be settling in but every morning that I do have class I wake in awe and have to pinch myself. I still just can’t believe I’m here.

I love to read. I read many different things. I’m getting ready to read Marley and Me. I haven’t seen the movie yet but I think the book will probably be so much better. I like to read mystery novels and I like to read the occasional romantic novel too. I think my favorite romance novel writer would have to be Danielle Steele. Reading is kind of like writing. You can become absorbed in what you’re reading about and just go to different places in your mind. It is such a good way to get away for a few minutes or to just take some time for yourself. You can put yourself into the book and pretend you’re one of the characters. I had my son read a chapter one time and then he had to act it out.

MyI have a fear of snakes. I hate snakes. Snakes are so scary. They are a sign of the devil and they are just scary looking. I once left a mountain in North Carolina beacuseI seen a snake and my hausband thought it was so funny. We are going to Raton, New Mexico in July and I am so afraid of seeing a rattlesnake. I even told my husband that I was going to buy 4 pairs of snake boots one for each of us. I just know that I ‘m going to have dreams of seeing one of those stupid snakes once we get there. Sankes are just menacing to me. I hate going into the Snake House at the zoo and that is my oldest sons favorite place to go. Sometimes I just want to choke him when we go to the zoo because if they have a sanake out he always wants to touvh it. And He always is like Oh come on Mom it’ll be oaky. Just touch it. They brought a sanake to his kinderarten class one day and I left the room when the snake got there. All those kindergartners laughted at me. I went and set in the hallway. I had a baby copperhead crawl across the toe of my sandals a few summers ago. That was not funny. I was crazy with fear then. I was jumping a wround and screaming. It was not a pretty sight. IreI remember one time how my uncle caught a cottonmouth on his fishing line. Talk about scary. He didn’t know it was a snake until he got it almost to the boat. Then he had to cut the line to get it off. That’s fear. Sankes. Fear. Yep they are interchangeable.

Homeschooling

2009-04-28T20:50:00.003-05:00

I began homeschooling Colton when he was in kindergarten. Actually, he was about through with kindergarten. He has been home this entire time and the whole thought of going back totally sent him into a tail spin. Lately, he has been thinking about going back if he can go to Fair Grove. He has struck up quite the friendship with the kids from his 4-H group and he has decided he would like to go to school with them. I think Fair Grove would be an appropriate school to put him in and so does Steve. We just are not ready to make that move quite yet. I have thought about putting Colton back into the Dallas County school system but my gut gets knots and I push the thought away.

We have had quite the journey homeschooling. I have learned probably as much as he has. Things that I don't remember learning in school, I have gotten refreshed on. Things that Colton wanted to learn more about, we have thrown ourselves into whole heartedly and learned.

I used to think that he wasn't missing out on anything by not being in school. I still feel that way about some things. I don't think any child should ever have to go through the whole clique thing. Especially, if you are the child on the outside. But I do think he is missing out on having to make a deadline, being held accountable for not turning something in on time and things that being a mom you just overlook.

I think he is getting to the point that he is missing having friends. He stays active in 4-H and YHEC and he gets to see his friends but I think he would like to see them more on a day to day basis.

As a family, we have some major decisions to make concerning the rest of Colton's schooling. I don't regret any of the time he has been at home. He has learned. He has exceled. Now he has to learn to use what we have taught him.

Breeding clothes in Dallas County

2009-04-28T20:22:00.004-05:00

Why are boys such a mess? Is it just boys? Or is it an age thing?

Colton has just graced me with a load of laundry that looks like it could walk to the washing machine and crawl in itself. "Where did you find this?", I asked. "Oh, it was under my bed and I found some pushed under my towel rack in the bathroom. I don't know how it got there."

I arch one eyebrow, and I know that the furrows across my forehead must resemble that of a newly plowed field. The thought running through my head rushes forth but my lips don't seem to be able to form the words. I roll my eyes and walk away. That would probably be for the best, I decide.

I now have washed Paden's clothes from yesterday plus his mud wear from today approximately three times. Bleach has yet to remove the clay mud stains.

As I pull in the driveway this afternoon, Colton is swinging. On his upper torso is a white mud stained shirt. Upon closer inspection, I find out it is MY white now mud stained shirt. I asked him why he was wearing my t-shirt and he replies his dad had gave it to him in the laundry he did while I was away for the weekend. I look at him and ask, "And you couldn't tell it didn't fit and was way too big?" But let me rewind. I had stopped at the Breakfast Nook on my way to Springfield today and Steve is wearing my CoxHealth long sleeve polo shirt. Only now it is stained with mud and some other substance that I don't see Shout getting out. Two shirts in one day and I wasn't even the one to ruin them.

As I walk in the back door, I notice my laundry pile has grown more. I'm telling you, I am breeding laundry in Dallas County.

Journal Reflection

2009-04-28T20:07:00.002-05:00

When I was told that we had to keep a journal I thought, "Great, I hate writing about my daily life because I never do anything exciting." Then, I jumped into it with both feet and actually started a little before our March 2 start date. Since that time, I have journaled feelings, happenings and recipes. I feel excited when somebody becomes a follower and I relish knowing that maybe I can brighten someones day.

I think I have changed as a writer over the course of the last few weeks because I no longer feel that I have to write. I now want to write, except on Mondays. Don't ask me why but Monday's are just horrid writing days for me. Yesterday was an exception to that but how could I not write about that cute, muddy, little boy.

I know that I didn't journal seven days a week but sometimes my days are so cluttered and by the time I sit down that I could journal I am so exhausted and my brain just shuts down. I learned that sometimes I should get up in the middle of the night when that inspiration hits because I think I could do some of my most powerful work at that time.

Blogging has become a part of my daily life. I look forward to coming home and reading the other students blogs (yes, I'm a lurker). I laugh when my husband says, "We're going to make the blog again, aren't we?" I think Steve has gotten as much enjoyment from this as I have.

Thanks, Ms. A. I just want you to know that I will continue blogging even after this last English 101 blog. You've opened a door of communication for me that will last long after the lights go out on our classtime together.

Blue Plate Monday ~ Gina's Broccoli Pasta Salad

2009-04-27T20:33:00.005-05:00

My awesome English teacher over at deniablydomestic.blogspot.com is now in her third week of Blue Plate Mondays. She is giving away the cutest little Scrap Basket Apron that has lots of meaning to her and she is willing to share that with the lucky winner. Come on and join the fun!

I went to the SuperCenter a few summers ago to get groceries. While standing over by the deli, I seen this beautiful salad in the case. The wanted an outrageous price for it so I bought a the smallest container they had then proceeded to pick it apart to figure out what was in it.

I made my own version, totally from scratch, and it turned out much better than theirs. I took this to a church function and everybody wanted the recipe. Anytime my mother in law comes over for a barbeque or we go down to her house for a family dinner this is the recipe that she always requests I bring. I don't have any pictures of it but it does turn out very pretty.

1# Vegetable macaroni, cooked and drained

1 Green Bell Pepper, diced

1 Red Onion, chopped

Carrots, shredded (however many you feel like using)

1 head cauliflour, chopped

1 bunch broccoli, chopped

1# cheddar cheese, shredded

Dressing:

1 cup sugar

1 cup vinegar

2 cups Miracle Whip

1 cup Eagle Brand Milk

1/2 tsp pepper

salt, to taste

I like to put the dressing on and let it set for at least a few hours but overnight is better.

Hope you enjoy.

Little Boys & Mud

2009-04-27T19:54:00.004-05:00

I have to laugh every time I see one of those moms that can't stand it if her child gets dirty. You know, the one that has a bib around her childs neck constantly because she don't want the little buggers to drool on themselves. Both my boys have had ample dirt time and I must say that many an outfit has met it's match with drool.

Today when I came home Paden wanted to know if he could play in the mud. He tried to explain to me that daddy had told him that he couldn't play in the mud but I scoffed at that idea. I walked him home from Mema's house, changed his clothes, put his rubber boots on and told him to go have fun. I explained, as best I could to a four year old, that he had approximately one hour to play then he had to come in and we had to get him cleaned up before daddy got home from work. Thirty minutes later this is what appeared on my front porch. Not quite what I bargained for but one look at that smile and those little blue eyes and I stripped him down and brought him in and put him in the tub. I also had to pour the water out of his rubber boots. His clothes, well, they are still soaking in the washing machine. I'm sure with the bleach that I added and after a couple washes they will be fine. If not, well, C'est la vie.

Having a couple of boys has been a blast. I grew up around boys. Five, to be exact. I'm not sure I would have been able to handle a little girl if she would have been all frills and curls. I think that's why I was blessed with two little boys. The first was not a dare devil. The second will try anything. I learned today that when he tells you he's going to wallow like a pig in the mud, well, he means it. He also made a slip-n-slide out of a mud hole and loved it.

So, if you all were wondering what to do with the rain, go make some mud pies. Have fun. Enjoy life and laugh.

2009-04-27T07:18:00.002-05:00

It's a rainy, Monday. I wanted to stay in bed cuddled up in my corner, hugging my pillow. I can't. I have to be ready to register in a few minutes for summer and fall semesters. I have changed my schedule almost 10 times now. I made last minute changes a few minutes ago and I'm ready to hit the register button in approximately 10 minutes. I'm ready for class at 9. I'm hoping the Ms. Anthony has some time to spend with me on my essay revision today. I'm not sure I did as good on this essay as I did my first. I have never had to use parenthetical citations before and needless to say I did not use them correctly (or at all) in this essay. In three weeks, I get a short two week break and I'm looking forward to it. Steve told me our house looks like a train wreck. I'm not having much luck getting him to help me keep it clean though after I clean it. I spent our spring break cleaning. I'm going to spend my intercession between spring and summer classes cleaning, too. It's a never ending process. We need more space for one. It's hard to pack a 2000 square foot house into 1200 foot of space. I have a storage shed that is packed full and it seems to acquire more and more over time. It has no semblence of order, either. Sometimes I feel that my house is like my life. I have no order.

The end of semester is drawing near

2009-04-24T21:14:00.002-05:00

My first semester has flown past. It seemed like just yesterday that I was circling the parking lot with tears streaming down my face, scared to death because I was going to be late for my first class. Not just the first class of the day, my first class of my college career.

Since that day, I have rediscovered that I was a good student. I was a good student until my Grandpa passed away is what I should say. The last 2 1/2 years of high school was a struggle after that and my grades suffered. Now, I'm back with a vengeance. I study. I study more. I study harder. I study everything not just what is supposed to be on the test. I feel that if I'm going to do this, I'm going to go all the way. I feel that if I'm going to succeed at the career path I've decided on, halfway is not an option.

I keep telling myself, I'm going to be a Physician Assistant. If I wasnt' 36 years old, I'd go all the way. I wouldn't stop at PA. I keep thinking maybe I should be a Nurse Practitioner. I want to work in a rural area and help the people. I want to see house-calls rebound. I want to see the face of a new mother. I want to make that grouchy old man that never smiles, smile. I want to hand out Tootsie Pops to my little patients and maybe the ones that are kids at heart, too. I want to be the PA or NP that sits on the bed with their patients hand in theirs and tells them, "We're going to beat this."

I'm not going into this field for the money, though that is a plus. I'm going into this field because I seen the need for nurses that take the time to know their patients. I seen the need for nurses that are compassionate and caring. I may be only one person but all it takes is one person to make a difference.

So, as the end of the semester draws near, finals are peaking around the corner. Summer is upon us. I'm eighteen blogs short so I will be blogging like crazy this weekend. I'm gearing up for an Anatomy Lab Practical. I'm squaring up for the English final. And I'm taking this all in and I'm learning. I'm learning that I can and I will succeed. I know that there's an angel on my shoulder and they won't let me quit.

2009-04-24T21:10:00.001-05:00

Sights and Sounds:
Vacationing in Western North Carolina
As the silver Chevrolet Camero rockets along the ribbon of asphalt, my eyes are glued to what seems to be a fog hugging the top of the surrounding mountains. The four lanes of traffic on Interstate 40 west of Asheville, North Carolina seem to wind through some of the most beautiful land I have ever seen. Pamphlets and brochures lay in disarray at my feet. The radio’s bass thumping to some hip hop music Steve has recorded on the cassette in the stereo. The sun’s rays are a warm caress on my face as the bounce through the passenger window. I sip on the extremely sweet Dr. Pepper that I bought earlier. The car’s vent draws in the aroma of the surroundings. At times, gas vapors and at others the pungent smell of pine fills the small interior space. As I settle into the less than comfortable passenger seat, I suddenly realize, I am now at the beginning of my week long vacation.
In the fall of 1995, I spent a week traveling the highways of Tennessee and North Carolina with my boyfriend, Steve; whom is now my husband. Leaving Missouri, with someone that I had known for a short time period was both exciting and scary. We packed up his Camero and headed east down Highway 60. We drove and drove, and finally at the point of exhaustion, and with an aching backside because the passenger seat of 1995 Camero is not meant for long distance travel, we stopped in Cookeville, TN.
The next morning, we got up and headed farther east on Interstate 40. We were on the last leg of our travel away from Missouri, by mid-day we would be in Asheville. Once we passed Knoxville or K Town, as Steve called it, the traffic on the west bound lanes of 40 grew heavier. Most cars that we were passing were sporting painted windows, flags from antennae’s or from the windows. Listening to a local radio station, we found that it was the home opening game for the Tennessee Volunteer’s football team. I decided, they took football seriously in this part of the country.
I looked at signs around me, Pigeon Forge one said. Steve pointed out things that he had seen that he thought was interesting. The scenery became more and more beautiful the closer we got to Asheville.
Asheville, I don’t know what I was thinking; I guess I thought I would see a town the size of Springfield. The town of Asheville is a sprawling town that seems to cover the whole valley. We found a Hampton Inn hotel and pulled in. We got a room and made some room in the car by carrying all the stuff in. We had no itinerary, so we shuffled through our pamphlets and decided we would drive out to Chimney Rock, which is 25 miles southeast of Asheville.
On the way to Chimney Rock, we crossed the Eastern Continental Divide. For a small town girl, I thought that was pretty cool. We stopped at a little store along the highway for a cold soda. Some natives, to that part of the country, told us to make sure we stopped at the River of Rocks. The river is nothing but these huge elephant-like rocks. They are smooth rocks, not jagged. As we explored, I noticed a family nearby who was playing in the rocks.
The parking lot to Chimney Rock is all uphill. We slid into a spot. Immediately in front of it there was a large drop off. I swore Steve was going to drive right off the hill, but he didn’t. We hiked up the parking lot to the entrance gates. The older gentleman, at the gate, asked if we would be taking the elevator or the stairs. Steve asked, “How many stairs?” The old man chuckled and said, “Twenty-six stories.” We took the elevator. In the elevator, Steve made some new friends that he fondly recalls as his “elevator buddies.” Two older women struck up a conversation with him and talked and talked the whole ride up. Steve later became their photographer and they happily repaid the favor; after, I explained to them how to work my camera.
The view from Chimney Rock is spectacular. Chimneyrockpark.com states that “the chimney is at an elevation of 2,280 feet.” The rock is surrounded by a large black wrought iron fence and a U.S. flag billows from a flagpole that is in the middle of the rock. From the rock, you can see the Opera Box. The Opera Box is an outcropping of rocks that you can hike to by a boardwalk of stairs and walkways. My favorite view from the top of the Chimney was of Lake Lure. From the top of the Chimney, I could see the vastness of the lake as it filled the surrounding valley. The sailboats on the lake looked miniscule from that elevation, and the little town that we passed at the foot of the park seemed small.
Chimney Rock Park held a special lure on our outing. A few years earlier it had been featured in the movie, The Last of the Mohicans. It wasn’t Chimney Rock that was in the movie but Hickory Nut Falls that is just on up the mountain. Hickory Nut Falls is the largest waterfall east of the Mississippi at 404 feet.
We returned to Asheville for the evening. We stopped at a local barbeque restaurant for dinner. The food was very good and the people were some of the friendliest I had ever met.
The next day, we awoke to the sun rising over the Blue Ridge Mountains out our window. The constant haze that hangs over the mountains is magnificent. Personally, I believe they get their name from the blue cast that one can see most of the time.
After a quick breakfast, in the hotel lobby, we were off to spend the day at the Biltmore Estate. The entrance to the Biltmore Estate stole my breath. I pictured myself traveling back in time to the days of horse and buggy. The road leading through the property is now paved and is a popular stop for many tour buses. As we wound our way down the blacktop ribbon, we came up a steep hill and around a curve and entered a wide opening. Statues seemed to be standing guard over the many gardens that surround the Biltmore.
We parked in one of the many parking areas and our exploration began. The tour through the house was slow going. For a house built in the late 1800’s, the mansion was amazing. It has an indoor pool that is surrounded by lush fauna. It made me think I had stepped into the rain forest. Parts of the house are four stories but all rooms are not open to the public. According to Biltmore.com the house covers 4 acres, totaling 175,000 square feet. It consists of 250 rooms that include 35 guest and family rooms, 43 bathrooms, 65 fireplaces and three kitchens. In our tour of the house we seen a chess set that was Napoleon’s. On one of the upper floors a large room that lay long and only slightly narrow was full of tapestries from the 16th century. They adorned all the walls in this room; seemingly, hanging from floor to ceiling. In this room, double doors were placed along the outer wall at various positions. A large balcony was accessible from these doors and it ran the length of the room. From the balcony, I could overlook the large open meadow with a very old tree that was slightly off centered. At the end of the meadow, timber started and sloped down towards the valley below; once again I realized that I was on top of a mountain in western North Carolina.
Throughout the house, I could find many interesting, priceless antiques. We toured a library that was full from ceiling to floor of bookshelves and more books than we ever had in our public library in Buffalo. Steve enjoyed the indoor bowling alley. The tour of the house took us the whole morning.
For lunch, we wound our way through the numerous outdoor gardens that were designed by Frederick Olmstead, to the stable area. In the courtyard of the stables, we found an ice cream shop tucked neatly inside the stable. Above the stable was a clock tower, beneath our feet was a cobblestone area, numerous songbirds sang and whistled from the trees around the back. The ice cream ran down my cone as it melted. We found a table among the other tourists and enjoyed our surroundings and our ice cream.
From here, we walked to a garden far upon the hill. I took Steve’s picture as he groped a very well endowed garden statue. On our walk up the hill, we passed a large oak tree that had been struck by lightning. The tree, itself, had survived but to close off the gaping hole that was left, the gardeners had filled the tree with bricks.
We then proceeded on with our tour of the estate by driving farther into the large compound. We stopped, along the drive, at the lake house. This was merely a large gazebo designed at the end of a large dock; sitting in the middle of a small lake. We ran into a couple with a Welsh corgi dog. This was the first time either of us had ever seen such a dog, and we absolutely fell in love with it. We watched some swans on the lake swimming in all their elegance. I took many pictures of this area because it was so serene and idyllic.
We moved on to what had once been the dairy. It had been converted to a winery in more recent years. For a small fee, you received a wine glass and were allowed to sample various wines throughout the building. Steve decided it was his sworn duty to sample any and all wines available. After a few, he found in the outer atrium a small barrel that was set up for the kids to stomp grapes and to have their footprints made. I wanted to croak when he got in line. Steve stomped grapes, had his footprints made and started a new trend. Upon seeing him in the barrel, many other tourists decided this looked like fun and got in line also. When we left this area, the line was packed with adults. The children were all standing to the side giggling and laughing.
Somewhere along the tour of the house we had read about George Vanderbilt buying some land and building a hunting lodge. The lodge was destroyed by fire but there is an area with pictures and memorabilia. We went in search of the lodge area and found it. We hiked up a trail to the spot that the hunting lodge had once stood and enjoyed all the peace and serenity.
The Blue Ridge Parkway is nicknamed “America’s Favorite Drive.” According to the website blueridgeparkway.org, it is 469 miles in length and was authorized for construction in the 1930’s as a Depression-era public works project and was more than a half-century in the making. As we wound along the Parkway, we found numerous tunnels and steep grades. The scenery is magnificent and lush. We stopped at numerous overlooks that we found along the way. I remember standing at the top of one and looking down at a house tucked neatly into the tree line in the valley below. It appeared to be a small white farmhouse and was surrounded by a barn and a silo. I returned to the car to retrieve a throw that I had brought along to cover up with during the ride. I fashioned the throw into a shawl, and stood in awe as I watched the sun set behind the mountains. The haze that covers the countryside seems to collect the rays of the setting sun, and the colors dance in the haze as the sun slowly slips down.
Mount Pisgah, at milepost 408.6, has the distinction of having by far the highest elevation of any developed area along the Parkway, according to the National Park Service website. Steve spotted a sign that pointed to a trail that led to a cross on top of Mount Pisgah. He quickly glided off the road. It was dusk and he wanted to hike up a mountain! As I wrapped deeper into my make-shift shawl, we headed up the mountain. Steve took the lead and soon left me, some yards behind. I moseyed along, knowing I was going to be eaten by a bear at any second. Instead, I stumbled upon something far worse. A snake decided to occupy the same trail as I was on. I decided rather quickly, that he could have the whole mountain. As I danced in place, screaming at the top of my lungs, “SNAKE! SNAKE! SNAKE!” Steve retreated down the path to where I was dancing about and yelling. After much coaxing, he decided it was useless to try to get me to go farther up the mountain and we returned to the car.
As our vacation drew to a close for western North Carolina, I realized that I didn’t really want to leave. The people make you feel at home there, and they welcome you as if you are a family member that is returning after being away. The land is some of the most beautiful, I believe, I have ever seen. In two years, I believe I want to revisit the Blue Ridge Parkway, the Smokey Mountains, the Biltmore Estate, and Chimney Rock State Park. I want to walk the trails that I was too chicken to walk then. I want to explore the rooms that have opened in the Biltmore Estate since our tour many years ago. I want to see Lake Lure up close. I want to dance in Hickory Nut Falls, as the cold water comes rushing down over my head. In two years, I will finish nursing school. In two years, it will be my fifteenth anniversary. In two years, I deserve a vacation!

My Weekend away

2009-04-20T20:59:00.004-05:00

I spent the weekend away from home. No kids. No husband.

It wasn't a vacationing weekend. I spent the weekend learning how to teach Hunting and Outdoor skills for 4-H.

It started out Friday afternoon as a pretty nice afternoon/evening. I got to Camp Windermere in Roach, Missouri at about 5:15. I ran into a couple of familiar faces soon after arriving. Byron, the retired Greene County leader, and Dale Cox, the retired Polk County leader were heading up the Sportfishing workshop that was going on.

I carried my things into a very nice room. I give thumbs up to Camp Windermere for it's facilities and for its very nice cafeteria and staff. I had a balcony that faced the east with two cafe chairs and small table. I took the time to sit on my balcony and look out over the lake. It was very serene and peaceful. I took a moment to reflect and catch a much needed breather alone. As I looked across the lake, on the bluff facing my room was the church. It sits high on the overlooking bluff and appeared to be an a-frame building with many windows. The cross rose proudly from the top of the steeple.

I went to dinner with a handful of men that were there Friday night for the workshop. A nice fellow from the St. Louis area, Mike, and a young gentleman from the Kansas City area, Josh, were my tablemates. Mike had been at the camp a few weeks earlier for a church gathering. I enjoyed talking to both of these individuals and learning of their goals for the kids in their areas.

After we walked back the 1/2 mile to Lakeview Lodge that we were all staying at, I walked up the hill to the conference center and struck up a conversation with what I soon found out was my leader for the weekend, Tim Coy. Tim was an awesome leader with a load of knowledge. Since I was the only one there from our group, I got to start on a project early. Tim taught me how to mount wings. I won't go into detail cause I don't want to cause anyone with weak stomachs any distress. I did very well on this project. I mounted a Blue Goose wing and a male Mallard Duck wing. After this, it was starting to unload their trucks and pack all the stuff into the conference room. While standing on the hill outside the conference center, I heard rustling in the leaves in the stand of timber up the hill about 50 feet from me. I thought of Steve's parting words, "Watch out for Bigfoot." Surveying my options of run like a little girl screaming down the hill or remain planted until I could get a better look, I remained rooted to my spot. At the edge of the woods, just inside the shadows was a fairly good sized doe deer. Behind her, was her three yearlings. After this I went to my room to clean up and check in on Steve and the boys.

I resumed my position on the balcony while I talked to my husband on the phone. Paden made sure to tell me he was being REALLY good and that he needed a toy. As dusk faded and night time came crashing in, I listened to the sounds of the tree frogs, the calls of the birds, the fish jumping, the subtle sounds of nightime.

Saturday the rain moved in and it showered on us off and on all day. I taught the other four students how to mount a wing Saturday morning. We learned how to set up and run a compass course. We played a couple games and we went on a Carmelita hunt. Saturday afternoon about 4:30 came the fun part of cooking. The Sportfishers, fried fish, hushpuppies and made coleslaw. We, the Hunting & Outdoor Skills group, we learned Dutch Oven Cooking. We made potatoes and onions with cheese and bacon, peach cobbler and cherry cobbler. The dinner was awesome and both groups visited in the kitchen area and had a wonderful dinner.

Sunday, the rain was constant. It was a nice steady rain. We walked to breakfast and lunch in the rain. Anytime we went outside we were in the rain. As the conference grew to a close, I said goodbye to my new found friends and headed home to my family.

All in all it was a fantastic weekend.

Rambling...

2009-04-17T15:18:00.002-05:00

I'm going away this weekend. I'm kind of nervous. I'm kind of anxious. I'm kind of excited.

This is a me weekend. I'm leaving my boys and Steve for the whole weekend. This is the first time I've ever left all of them except for my stay in the hospital last fall.

Steve warned me to watch for Bigfoot as he left this morning. I'm not staying in a luxury suite or getting a spa treatment, by know means. This is a working weekend. I'm going to go become a certified instructor for 4-H Hunting Skills.

Colton, is the state champ, so I have big shoes to fill. That seems funny, I have to walk in my sons shoes. He can run a compass course, identify skins, prints and feathers AND shoot. He finally decided that he "might" want to be a conservation agent or something of the sort. I had to laugh when he cornered the Regional Conservation Agent last weekend at the NWTF dinner. Poor guy, his ears were falling off with all the questions.

Well, I gotta run. Toodles and have a wonderful weekend.

Blue Plate Mondays @ (un)Deniably Domestic

2009-04-13T14:05:00.012-05:00

Well, my English teacher has hit on a subject that is near and dear to my little heart...yes, food. Hopefully, she will share some of her kitchen binder with me (us) and I will be more knowledgeable on how to organize my meal plan, too. So come along on her new endeavor and join us in some recipe sharing. Make sure you link to her post at http://deniablydomestic.blogspot.com/!!

My submission to Blue Plate Mondays is a dish that I found in a recipe book. Like any other recipe, I don't know how to follow directions. I always add, substitute or like this recipe totally change things so that it's not really anything like what it was supposed to be when it started out.

See, I was going to make my "regular" Tuna Noodle Casserole but sometime unbeknown to me (slipped right out of my mind) I had used all of my egg noodles. So I dug around and figured the kids like Mac n Cheese, why not?

Colton named this Mom's Mac N Cheese with Tuna. Tonight he can call it Mom's Mac N Cheese with Ham because I have all this leftover ham and I thought, "What the hey." Hope everybody enjoys it. Even my picky eater likes it, as long as you hide the green peppers and onions. (Which, I chop absolutely minuscule.)

Ingredients:
1 package (7-1/4 ounces) macaroni and cheese
1 can (10-3/4 ounces) condensed cream of celery or I have used mushroom soup, undiluted
1 can (6 ounces) tuna, drained and flaked (I use two because I like more meat.)
1/2 cup milk
1 cup (4 ounces) shredded cheddar cheese
Minced fresh parsley, optional
Green Pepper from garden, optional
Onion, chopped

Directions:
Prepare macaroni and cheese according to package directions. Stir in the soup, tuna and milk. Pour into a greased 2-qt. baking dish. Sprinkle with cheese and parsley if desired. Bake, uncovered, at 350° for 20-25 minutes or until cheese is melted.

One more thing, I always add lots of seasoning. I have Paula Deen's Blend of Salt, Pepper and Garlic that I put in almost everything. AND I measure nothing so I hope I'm close on the above measurements.

I am passionate about...

2009-04-13T09:00:00.003-05:00

I am passionate about...well, at the moment going back to school and getting good grades. I am passionate about my children and how I want them to grow up to be smart, educated, successful adults.

I should probably have more things in my life that I am passionate about like reading the Bible, going to church regularly, practicing for archery shoots, cooking. Actually, I am passionate about these things but the passion has not been centered on them lately.

Lately, my focus has been on the kids, Steve and school but not necessarily in that order. School is my passion. Every waking minute is spent in thought of school. Car shopping this weekend was spent analyzing the car salesman and my husbands interaction because of Psychology on Friday. Watching the kids shoot at practice on Saturday was spent trying to put together an algebraic equation on how to move the sight this way or that or to hit the bull. I find myself, studying anatomy on people constantly. A conversation with my grandmother this weekend was about colorblindness and what colors she can't perceive and who in her family had color blindness so that I could try to pinpoint why, she, a female, no less has it.

English, well, that's a constant. I'm working hard trying to teach my oldest child that the LOC's have to be learned before he enters college. That his spelling that one of his teacher's told him wasn't important and that's why the invented spell check is not true. That spelling is important and he needs to learn to spell. That he won't have spell check with him constantly. I try to teach him to look up words that he doesn't know and if I tell him to look it up because he asks, then he evidently don't know it and he does need to look it up and learn it.

I am passionate about being a good wife but that passion has slipped lately. Dinner doesn't always get on the table at a certain time, the house doesn't always stay clean, the laundry isn't always done but then are these necessarily signs of being a passionate wife.

Blogging...

2009-04-10T16:30:00.002-05:00

Blogging for me has become an outlet. When I was younger I used to have a diary. I never had a journal and was never taught about journaling like they do in today's school.

I remember trying to teach Colton about journaling a few years ago and I was met with adamant protest from not only him but his father and his grandparents. His journal was more like..."I fed the chickens. I watered the dog. I ate breakfast. I schooled." He hated it.

I on the other hand am taking great pleasure in it. On the days I do not journal I feel like I have forgotten something. On the days that I write a large piece that I'm proud of I feel like I've conquered the world.

In lurking about, I have found journals can be personal, impersonal, about something or about nothing. You can focus on one idea or you can meander on about anything and everything.

I find the blogs that I take the greatest interest in are the one's that the writer shares a bit of himself or herself. You become so entwined with this person and what is going on in their lives that when something goes wrong you want to reach through the computer and give them a big hug to comfort them. Just the opposite, they might have a great accomplishment and you revel in their success.

I have read blogs about a former TV personality that now has a bakery in a small West Texas town to the common everyday housewife that enjoys singing in her church choir.

I have friends that sign on just to read my blog and see what I'm babbling about to total strangers that visit and leave. I have found that I look forward to comments. They make me absolutely, positively warm inside.

I can open up about things that I might not just bring up in casual conversation. I can bare my soul about irritating things. I can brag on my kids. I can blog any feeling I'm feeling at that moment and if I'm good enough, you will feel like you're there with me.

Thanks for reading my blog and I do hope you come back. And Ms. A, Thanks for showing me this wonderful outlet that I would have never known about nor ever thought about until you suggested it.

If you was raised like I was...

2009-04-07T17:28:00.003-05:00

"If you was raised like I was..." Those words will be forever etched in my brain. I have heard my Grandma say this to me, my uncles and my mom so many times I cannot even begin to count them.

My Grandma was born to Joe and Alta Glass on January 31, 1932 in Louisburg, MO. She was the second child of four.

My Grandpa and Grandma Joe, as I affectionately called them were what most today would consider dirt poor. As I look back now, they never really had much. I don't ever remember the farm that my Nanny (grandma) talks about, that was gone before I ever came along.

I remember Grandpa Joe had one eye. I don't know how the other one got put out, I don't think I ever really asked or cared. That's just how he was. My Grandma Joe was always busy doing laundry. I learned later, that is how she made extra money. She did laundry for her neighbors and ironed for them. I don't ever remember going down there in the summer without there being laundry on the clothesline. I remember running in and out of all the clothes. I also remember that they had a root cellar under their house and I would sit on hot summer days in the root cellar and play. It was always cool, dark and damp. Why, I never worried about snakes down there, is beyond me.

My grandma tells stories of her great granny that sat in a rocking chair and smoked pipe tobacco and chewed. She was a full blooded Cherokee. I assume, that's where I get my high cheek bones.

I remember my Grandpa buying Grandma a brand new Poniac Catalina in 1979 from Davies Chevrolet Pontiac on the square in Buffalo. It was a soft yellow, almost pastel. I remember barely seeing over the dash and riding to Louisburg with Grandma to visit Grandma and Grandpa Joe. It was a trip we made weekly. We never wore seat belts and we didn't have car seats in those days. Any sudden stop was accompanied by a hand to the chest to catch me. It's still a reflex action in me today.

Grandma Joe would always fix us a big lunch. But, back then, it wasn't that she fixed us lunch because we were there, she fixed it because that's what she would have fixed even if we wasn't. She always fixed three meals a day, if she had company she just fixed extra.

My Grandma Joe always wore an apron and I can't recall ever seeing her in anything but a cotton dress. Most usually her dresses were homemade. In the winter she wore a sweater over her thin, sometimes almost worn too thin dress.

I remember that she could tat, crochet and knit. She pieced and made quilts from scraps. I still have a little quilt that she made for my doll cribs. Unlike Granny (Great Grandma Slack), she didn't have a quilting frame and when she quilted she took crochet thread and looped it through the quilt and knotted it in the center of each square.

I don't remember how old I was, but I can remember when my Grandma Joe was diagnosed with Leukemia. I remember leaving the dinner table and going to my room crying. When my grandpa asked me why I was crying I told him I wasn't crying my eyes were just sweating. After that, we spent a lot of time in and out of the hospital with Grandma Joe. I don't really recall her dieing and I don't think I went to her funeral. If I did, I've blocked it out of my mind.

I remember after that when we would go to Louisburg to see Grandpa Joe, grandma would always cook him a big lunch. He later died in the nursing home in Buffalo after being diagnosed with prostate cancer. He was in his late 80's.

Nanny was raised hard. She never had but one rag doll. Her older brother, Cecil, is classified as MIA from the Korean war. He was on the front line and his division was the first troops that hit land. That was always hard on my grandma, the not knowing.

My grandma came from hard times. The depression left a lasting impression even if she was at a young age when it happened.

My husband, thinks it's awful when I tell about some of the things she done when I was growing up.

By the way, Grandma and Grandpa raised six kids, then me. They had five boys and mom. Mom was the third child. I always laugh at the story of Grandpa and how he was denied welfare.(Our family name used to be well known in Buffalo before it's population grew.) When Grandpa slipped on the ice and broke his back and they could have used the extra help, the welfare office evidently told them no because he was a Slack and Slacks' didn't need welfare. Grandpa told them he would never ask again, and he didn't.

Steve thinks it's awful when I tell him how we used to share bathwater. He gags when I tell him that Grandma would cut the mold off the cheese and still use the rest of it. And his ultimate gag reflex is when I tell him how she would cook rice and if those little black bugs would come floating to the top, she skimmed them off and we still had rice. I told him that's why you have never seen any of us have food poisoning. We have cast iron stomachs. Nothing went to waste at our house. The scraps were fed to the chickens and to the pigs. And in the rainwater was caught to water the houseplants.

I can't remember ever wanting for anything and having more than most. The one thing we were never short on was discipline and love, lots of love.

I grew up in a house that there was a dinner with meat, vegetable and dessert everynight. We sat at the dinner table, not around the the television. Going out to eat was a treat that happened maybe once a month. Going to the Bolivar Pizza Hut was a BIG DEAL. And when KFC came onto the scene that was a big treat that Grandma and Grandpa went on by themselves.

We used to go "visiting". I didn't matter if it was a "school night". We would all pile in the car and head off to a relatives house or a family friend and spend the evening catching up. And "fetched on company" wasn't a big deal. You just set an extra place settings at the table.

When it was butchering time, all the families would get together and butcher. I remember having hogs and beef hanging from the tree by the house. I remember butchering our own chicken and turkey. And when it was hunting season we always had an abundance of deer.

I can remember Grandma canning. We always had two, yes two, LARGE gardens. One was all potatoes and corn and sometimes peanuts. The other was everything else.

We picked blackberries, plums and Black Walnuts. We had a strawberry bed that ran the whole lenth of the garden. We had a milk cow.

So, did I grow up like Grandma? No, I doubt it. But, I did grow up instilled with values, manners, discipline and love.

My lil lost blog

2009-04-07T17:18:00.002-05:00

I lost a blog last night. I know you're probably wondering how I coud lose a blog. Well, it happened like this, I went to bed blogging in my head. Stupid me, I should have gotten up and blogged what I was thinking about but like the big dumb dumb that I was, I didn't. I can remember the blog vaguely, but not completely. The whole opening just totally escapes me and bits and pieces are bouncing around in my brain.

A few weeks ago I was driving down Kearney and there is a little whole in the wall bar over there that used to have Walleye Wednesday. For love nor money could I remember the name of it. I even called Steve at work and he couldn't remember it either. This just gnawed at me. I went to bed thinking about this place. I woke up thinking about this place. I would drive to school thinking about it. I would drive home thinking about it. Then, I quit thinking about it. The other morning when I was getting ready for school, I was in the shower and like "poof" there it was. The Repair Shop. Now why did I remember it then? I don't know.

We studied about this in Psychology. I had an encoding failure.

Maybe since I've blogged now and got the clutter out of my way, my blog will come back. Maybe I'll remember it tonight before bed and if I do, I'll get back up to blog again.

Sunday evening

2009-04-05T19:52:00.002-05:00

As I sit here, I hear George Strait crooning behind me. To my left, through the kitchen from the bedroom I hear Steve raising the roof with his snoring. His belly, full and content, from the Sweet and Sour roast I created, exotic rice, mashed potatoes with sour cream and chives, and corn on the cob. Down the hall to my right, I hear the raucous behaviour of the soon to be four year old and 12 year old. They are joyously painting each other camoflauge with Colton's camo face paint. Shadow, the family Golden Retriever is pacing anxiously at the door wanting to go outside. Outside, I hear the sound of freezing rain beating against the windows. The wind blowing fiercely, rattling the metal roof. The sound sends a shiver through me.

As I look at Paden's birthday present that his paternal grandmother delivered late this afternoon, I think of warmer weather that surely will be here shortly.

I, mentally, make a list of the items I need to pick up this week for his birthday and for Easter next weekend.

The wind is picking up and my dinner is catching up with me, too. I yawn, tiredly. I need to load the dishwasher, give a bath, take a shower, pack my backpack and pick up the living room before I turn in. I think there is clothes that need folded and another load that could be started.

So off I go. I may turn the tea kettle on while I start my chores and then when I'm done it will be hot and I can have that hot cup of tea before I drift off to dream.

Sweet dreams everybody.

Fighting the past

2009-04-01T20:51:00.003-05:00

You leave the grocery store, do you know what's happening and who's around you? You go for a walk, do you know who drives by? You go to your job, do you know who is watching you?

Life is easy to be focused on what you are doing but do you really pay attention to your surroundings? It's easy to be lost in your own world.

Now let's think about this...

You walk out of the grocery store and reach for your car door, which you have already unlocked with your keyless entry and a hand jets past you and grabs your door handle.

You receive phone calls from a guy you worked with and he doesn't seem to take the hint not to call anymore and when your husband calls him and tells him not to call it only pisses him off and makes him more persistent.

You pick up the local paper to find an article that explains a that a child has received an award and it mentions that the man that won't leave you alone and you, yes, YOU are his parents.

You go to work and have to duck into a doorway leading somewhere the general public can't go because this person is lurking around.

You are on your way home after being escorted to your car and look back as you enter your garage and find the person is driving by.

Scary, huh?

So you install an alarm system. You pay the extra hundred dollars for the key fob that activates your alarm, just in case. You keep your blinds closed. You don't allow your children outside to play. You lock your door, then check it repeatedly. You change your phone number and have it unlisted. You take a concealed carry course because somehow you think this will make you feel more protected. The police chief gives you pepper spray, just in case they can't get there in time.

What does that mean, just in case? Just in case, he throws you in your own vehicle. Just in case, he gets in your house. Just in case, he...

This is what you live with when you have a stalker. The fear. The panic. The unknowing.

Calling someone and bothering them across state lines is a felony. Bothering someone inside your own county or state is only a misdemeanor. Being on the receiving end of a stalker is a life sentence.

Being stalked is a horrible, horrible thing. It tears away at you and makes you vulnerable. Noises that never bothered you before make you jump out of your skin. The mere sound of the phone ringing sends chills down your back.

I have came to realize that I have a psychological problem that came from being stalked. I realize now that my weight issue is from that. Somehow in some little part of my brain it believes, "If I'm fat, nobody will pay attention to me. Nobody will see me. I'll be invisible." Sounds crazy, don't it? It's true though. I have discovered that I keep telling myself that if I lose these pounds that I put on then I will become subjected to this terror again. Now that I know this, I will be able to help myself.

I have decided that I will not let this happen again and if I keep the weight on then he wins. He wins because me being overweight is still making me a prisoner. Being overweight will ruin my health and eventually cause health problems that could kill me. So it's like he's killing me. I can't stand for that. I'm a fighter. I'm going to take my life back!! I will stand tall again. I will live to fight another day.

Music

2009-03-31T20:36:00.003-05:00

Usually when I am sitting and doing my homework, I listen to Pandora on the computer. Today, I created a new station because I wanted to hear a certain song and they never played the song that I created the station from but they played many others. As I sat and concentrated on my Algebra, songs kept coming on that stirred many memories.

Isn't it funny how a song that plays during or after something major in your life suddenly becomes part of that memory. It's at times like these that those memories can come flooding in. Some songs you might remember from a concert. Others you might remember from a fight with a significant other. Or maybe you remember a special song that was played at your wedding. Music plays an important part in our lives.

Songs can make you cry, make you smile or sometimes they just make you think.

Music comes in many types from classical to metal. Needless to say, I don't care much for either. I remember playing classical music on the piano during recitals and I never really cared for it. I have only in the last 10 years started to listen to classic rock and a smidge of hip hop. I can't stand metal or whatever that head banging stuff is that you can't understand what they're saying. I'm mostly a country music girl. So most of my memories are tied to country songs. Though I do remember playing name that tune with a previous boyfriend on classic rock.

Music is played at graduation. It's played at weddings. It's played at funerals and it's played at almost every celebration in between. It makes me wonder what we would do without music.

I played music to my boys when I was carrying them. It's common practice to play music to babies when they are upset. Sometimes you leave a radio on for your pets.

Music is soothing. Music is lively. Music is what it needs to be for whatever moment we need it.

We can dance to it. We can cry to it. We can walk to it. We can run to it. We can chill out to it. We can play it at night and let it put us to sleep.

I'm just glad we have it.

Memories

2009-03-29T19:42:00.003-05:00

Memory: An active system that receives information from the senses, puts that information into a usable form, and organizes it as it stores it away, and then retrieves the information from storage.

Have you ever had someone or something from your past that you put away deep in your mind and then one day you stumble upon it and you take it out and start looking at it? You hold it tight and try to remember why you put it away. You try to remember everything that it meant to you. You may imagine you smell be it cologne, a place you visited, a dish you cooked or any number of smells that could be associated with that memory. You close your eyes and vividly see the picture your mind paints of various moments. Like a slide show behind your eyelids, the movie plays. Various moments, like a PowerPoint presentation, come spinning up to be replaced by the next. You are so deep into this memory you can feel certain things. The brush of a hand, the warmth of an embrace, the feelings you thought were long gone come bubbling forth like molten lava spewing from the top of the mountain.

This happens ever so often to me. A friend that I had long ago, comes tumbling back into my mind like a tumbleweed across the Kansas prairie. I dust off all those old memories and recall each moment as if they were happening now, not 13 or 14 years ago or more.

Why do they come? Where do they come from? What triggers these happenings?

I used to believe that I had ESP when I was little. My grandma seems to have had it. At times I have seemed to have had it. I had an aunt once that when she got divorced from my uncle I seemed to have a sixth sense about when she would be in town. Days later we would find out that she had been there. So now, when I have a memory that comes tumbling out of the corner of my mind, I like to believe that the person I am remembering is remembering me too. I know that sounds really corny but I'm really pretty sentimental.

A few days ago, I had a memory come spinning out of nowhere. Are they thinking of me? Did they happen to stumble upon my blog? Do they remember the same memories that I hold dear? Do they know in their heart how much I miss them?

As I set and look through my memories. I dust them off and put them back. I know that in a few days that these memories will be pushed again to the back of my mind. Life will go on. But I will always have the memories we made. Maybe someday our paths will cross again. Maybe someday there will be new memories. Until then, I will cherish what I have now.

I hate computers

2009-03-28T18:42:00.001-05:00

FINALLY!!!

I wasn't sure that I was ever going to be on the internet again this weekend.

I have a new laptop. I have dsl. So you may wonder why I would be having problems. Well, that has been my question most of the day. It had something to do with that stupid antivirus program of mine. Seems that the antivirus caught a virus. It is quite upsetting considering that I pay out the wazoo for security and evidently my security needs security.

I am pretty computer savvy and after a day in front of it not accomplishing what I want. I'm ready to get out of this corner but I wanted to write to.

To vent. To release all this pent up frustration.

Now I'm going to go take my frustration out somewhere else. Sounds like the dryer is calling my name.

Toodles.

Truck Drivers

2009-03-25T11:21:00.001-05:00

I said in a recent post that I could write a whole post on truck drivers. Well, I can. I lived the life opposite a truck driver for 13 years. I still kind of do, he does still drive it's just not his full time occupation. He's the truck driver by title but he's kind of a jack of all trades when he's not driving.

Truck drivers come in all sizes, all cultures, all religions, all differing degrees of intelligence. When you say the words truck driver most people conjure up a redneck sort of fellow, not of high intelligence, not concerned with cleanliness, maybe even with tobacco juice running down his chin. When I see a truck driver interviewed on the local news, I think to myself, "Oh my God, did they have to find the most unintelligent form of life to talk to or did the smart fellows just refuse to be on camera?"

Truck drivers are a different breed and inside that breed you have many branches. You have dump truck drivers. My experience with them is that they are the party crowd. They run their butts off during the day and stay up most of the night drinking. Most of them, close the bar down and then sleep in their trucks. They are fun loving and sometimes not the most work brittle.

You have long haul drivers of all sorts. Some pull reefers (garbage haulers), some pull vans(billboards, bedbuggers), some are flatbedders and some pull transports (parking lots).

I, personally, have only had to deal with flatbedders. I dispatched for a brief stint a couple years ago. I had my husband and then I helped with 3 other flatbedders and a van driver. I found that women truck drivers are sort of mental. They want to play head games all the time and they do love to cause a stir. Maybe it's just being out on the road alone, I don't know but I can't deal with their drama I found that out very quickly.

The men, well I found that they are big babies. They whine because you find them a load and it's not what they want. They whine because you find them what they want but it's not paying as much as they want. They whine because you find them one paying what they want, hauling what they want but it's not going where they want. Now, don't forget, these drivers also want to be home at certain times, they want to sleep and you have to know how they are logging this trip so you know if they have enough hours to get to the next town to pick up the next load. Don't ever send one to south or west Texas unless you already have a back haul, either. It's also best to have at least a week planned out and you better hope that at no time does a load fall through. It's a damned if you do, damned if you don't world. Dispatching is a thankless job and I give kudos to anyone that does it successfully.

Truck drivers also have families. It's a rough job being a family of a truck driver, too. If you're the wife, you get to raise the kids by yourself. You discipline, you cook, you clean and then when dad pulls in he's the hero. If you have a baby, dad is most usually on your crap list by the time he leaves because he has messed the babies schedule up and you have to spend the next few days after he leaves getting back on schedule just to do it all over again when he comes back home. When you are the primary disciplinarian you also are the "bad" parent because when dad comes home the children get away with all the things you have disciplined them for because dad doesn't want to look like the bad guy.

My mother in law was such a pain when my husband was driving. I heard constantly, "Don't you worry about him having a bad accident while he's out there? I worry about him all the time." She never like my reply of, "If I spent my time worrying about him then they would have to lock me in a padded room. So no, I don't worry about him." Being I knew that he was in a vehicle bigger than most on the road and that I'm a firm believer in "if it's your time, then it's your time and there is nothing you or anyone else can do about it" I didn't and still don't worry about those things. Our lives our in God's hands and that's just the way I look at it.

Truck drivers for the most part are really good guys. Like any occupation you have your jerks. There is always going to be somebody that will "cheat". I never worried about that though. If I did I wouldn't have had much faith in my marriage and so I wouldn't have had much of a marriage. There is always going to be somebody that will steal. There is always going to be somebody that will lie. There is always going to be somebody that is just a dead beat and not worth the air they breathe. BUT, there is always a flip side that by far outnumbers the others.

Truck drivers have to process so much of what is going on around them. They are said to process more information per second than any other driver on the road. A driver has to be able to process what is going on around him, what is happening inside his truck and with his truck, and what is happening with his load constantly. A truck driver doesn't get to drive down the road and sight see. I found this out on the few trips I went along on. "I've drove this road a hundred times and I never noticed that until you pointed it out." was a common thing I heard on my trips.

A truck driver has a hard life. He spends his time in the cab of a truck and unless he has a "house on wheels" then he doesn't have the luxury of home cooked meals. Most drivers eat at the buffet in the truck stops or anywhere that has truck parking. So eating healthy is not usually an option. Three meals a day is not an option because if you're out there to make money you don't have time to stop for three meals.

Sleep deprivation is also a common problem. Even with the 10 hour rule, drivers are sleep deprived. Loads have to be delivered in a timely manner and most have appointment times.

Studies suggest that the risks of cancer, heart attacks, and other disorders may be associated with aspects of long-haul driving such as loading and unloading cargo, irregular schedules, long hours of driving, a sedentary lifestyle, and the nature of drivers' food choices on the road.

In the thirteen years my husband has been on the road, I have heard him say on three different instances that they found "so-and-so" dead in his truck. When he called the first time to me this, it was his trainer from Maverick that they had found. He called me when he worked for TP and they had found a young driver that had suffered a heart attack after unloading. During his last job, he called to tell me that they found a driver dead in the shower. He had suffered a massive heart attack.

Injuries happen galore in flatbedding. Our best friend fell off his load not to long ago and suffered a minor concussion and some back and arm injuries. Steve has slipped on numerous occasions but thankfully never fallen. Throwing those tarps are a injury waiting to happen, especially in windy conditions. Just getting them on top of a load is act of congress.

Truck drivers are the backbone of this country. Look around you. There is probably not many things that you can see that a truck driver didn't haul.

Truck drivers are not unintelligent people either. My husband has ran into doctors and lawyers that gave up their careers to be truck drivers. A doctor that he had dinner with one time told him that the malpractice insurance had gotten so outrageous that he had given up his practice because he couldn't make a decent living. Steve has met people with PhD's, Bachelor's degrees, you name it.

Many drivers have been through my house for dinner over the years. If Steve was passing through, I always cooked dinner for him and whomever he happened to be running with. I've learned heard many a story and met people from all walks of life. Many bikers, a circus driver, a bull rider all turned truck drivers.

Something Steve said to me the other day really hit home. He was talking about staying gone overnight now compared to being gone on the truck. He said now when he's gone he has a bed to sleep in, whether it's at a motel or at one of the job houses, he gets a good meal and he gets to go to bed at 9 or 10 o'clock and get up at 6. On the truck he would have a sandwich out of the fridge, watch a little tv, then sleep a couple hours and go on. If he overslept he had to drive like hell to make up time and hope that he could still get unloaded at a decent time to make his next pickup. The stress was so much more. Coming home now means getting in his pickup and driving 5 miles. Coming home then meant driving with or without load on his trailer for hundreds of miles unless he was lucky enough to get a load to Springfield, getting in at all hours of the day or night spending a day or two trying to get everything done that had to be done to the truck before he left and trying to squeeze in family time on the side.

Truck drivers have one of the most underpaid, under appreciated jobs on the road. Think about this next time you see one driving down the road and appreciate it when you crawl between your sheets at night and put your head on your fluffy pillow. And when you hear one outside your window in the middle of the night, say a little prayer for that driver that he makes it where he's going. I'm sure he or she will appreciate it.

Quality Tv

2009-03-25T10:25:00.000-05:00

Whatever happened to good, wholesome family shows like The Walton's, Andy Griffin, The Cosby Show, The Beverly Hillbillies, Green Acres and I Love Lucy?

Paden is only 3, well almost 4 in a couple weeks, but recently he has been really aggressive and then suddenly he'll pop out some sexual retort or action. At first, I was just floored. I kept thinking, "Where is he seeing this?" Then Steve pointed out a commercial on early in the evening for a later show that was just to the point of soft porn.

This week I've been watching the cartoons he's watching too. He doesn't seem interested in anything that is actually okay for him to watch. He wants to watch The New Batman, X-Men and that kind of thing. I figured out that's where his aggressiveness comes from. So I've been working on his tv viewing. I've introduced him to Sesame Street, Word Girl, WordWorld, Clifford. He's protested. I haven't given in.

Steve and I have given up prime time tv viewing of NCIS and CSI. We now watch the Ax Men and other things on the History Channel. Steve and I like to watch The Cosby reruns on TVLand. I'm really glad that spring is on the way and it's been nice lately. This allows us to go out in the evenings and not worry about the tv.

Colton on the other hand has discovered the Beverly Hillbillies and is collecting the season epidodes on DVD. He found season three at a pawn shop this weekend and loves watching it.

I know that I'm thankful for TV Land and PBS.

Spring Break=Spring Cleaning

2009-03-24T15:26:00.000-05:00

My house has kind of went to the far side the last 8 weeks. I try to keep it picked up but I haven't cleaned it. I started out yesterday morning cleaning my closet. Four boxes and two trash bags later I was finished. Last night Steve decided we should move the bed. We have a small house and my king size bed sits halfway across the window. This makes opening and closing the window extremely hard. With spring upon us, he decided if we turned the bed it would allow us to get to the window, thus allowing us to open and close the window at will to allow the breeze in. So this morning, I started in once again. Who knew people could acquire so much JUNK!!??? I have a saddle on a stand that was my grandpa's favorite saddle. When I worked for PFI, I had this saddle refinished and it has been on a saddle rack in my room ever since. Paden has discovered that you can climb up on it and sit. He has spent the last hour singing his rendition of "Clementine" with an old guitar and my cowboy hat sitting on the saddle in the middle of the kitchen where I have temporarily relocated it.

My and dad had to come over because "Billy Bob Tater" aka, Paden wanted them to see him. We have all been in stitches. It's amazing how when you hear a song you sometimes hear things different than what they are. This is Paden's rendition of Clementine and when I figure out how to upload my video camera I'll put it on hear but until then...

"Ole my Darling, Ole my darling, Ole my darling Clementine you are lost and gone forever and my papa wears underwear number nine." Now, I must say, from my standpoint he sounds a lot like the little boy that played Alfalfa on the Little Rascals, too.

Hope everybody is having a wonderful week! Time to go back to work.

What's in my way...

2009-03-13T09:05:00.000-05:00

I don't have one particular thing on my mind at the moment. I have a bunch of jumble going on. I think you could compare it to embroidery thread that you just throw the leftovers of skeins in a bag and how they become all twisted and knotted. I have anatomy and where am I going to get cabbage plants for my mother before I head home banging around in my brain. I try to bring the anatomy to the front so that I can focus but it's just not happening. When I open the book to study blank pages look back at me. I'm so confused. Who cares if a bone is intramembranous or endochondral? I guess I should that is what my essay question is about. Cabbage plants. Where in the world do I find cabbage plants in Springfield? Where is a greenhouse? I know this town pretty well and when she called and told me that she had this small little task my brain blanked out. It's just like opening that book with no words on the pages. I think it's on overload. It's shutting down.

I think to everything I want to accomplish on spring break. I'll never get it all done. But it's there. A list that is growing longer and longer. It's starting to be like an adding machine tape. Before long my head will pop open and it will start shooting paper everywhere. I have to get a grip. I have to take a deep breath.

My night at the Gillioz

2009-03-13T05:23:00.000-05:00

"Hey, are we going to go eat before the play tonight?", I asked. The answer I got was less than the desirable one. "We'll have to eat on the road. I don't think we'll have time to go sit down somewhere. Are you ready for your test? Do we need to go to the play tomorrow night?"

That was the phone conversation that played out at around 4 yesterday afternoon. I was supposed to make my mind up what I was going to do. Well, that was pretty easy. My head was starting to spin on my shoulders and I could feel a dull ache in my temporal region. I figured it was best to get up from my corner that I had stayed in almost all day and leave behind the words that were becoming all fuzzy and clustered on the pages.

I made it into the shower at 4:45 and an hour later I was dressed and ready to go. As Steve called his mom to find out where the Gillioz Theatre was, I made a a sashay through the house one last time. It was quiet. I paused in silence at the boys' end of the house. Their rooms both is disarray where Paden had played in them all day. I could only imagine the fit that Colton would throw when he got home and seen how his brother had cluttered his.

As we left, Steve asked where I wanted to eat. My response was, "No McDonald's and no Dairy Queen." He muttered at me that he was hungry and now that had left out eating in town. I told him he still had Hardee's and Sonic, but for me that was less than desirable also. We headed on south, he told me we would find someplace in Springfield. When we got to Bluegrass Road he asked me again where I wanted to eat. We finally settled on Braum's.

We headed on downtown. We drove by the Shrine where a clown was outside waving and greeting the crowd. He looked more like a rodeo clown instead of a circus clown. Parents with children in tow, happily skipping along between mom and dad seemed to come from all directions. As we headed further into the downtown area traffic became lighter. I was the first to spot the lighted marquee of the Gillioz. We circled the block and settled into a parking spot.

The temperature outside was comfortable but cool as we walked hand in hand up the sidewalk. The red doors of the theatre were locked, except for one. As we slipped inside the inner sanctum, we paused for a moment to take in our surroundings. The marble floors echoed beneath our boots as we walked the hallowed hallway. I paused at each picture, studying. Instead of going through the next set of doors we took a left turn towards the elevators and looked at more of the photography hanging on the walls. The "Ghost Train" is now etched in my mind. Though only in black and white, the image of the broken carriage car is burned in my brain. Alongside it hung a couple pictures from the Civil War reenactments. Then, another black and white, a set of hands on a chainlink fence.

Steve and I decided to go through the next set of doors. The marble was now gone beneath our feet replaced by carpeting. The rotunda loomed over our heads. The grand staircase to the second floor seemed to beckon and I fought the urge to explore further. As I cautiously opened the theatre doors, I seen the actors on the stage doing last minute run throughs. As I made my was to the second row, center stage I tried to take in my surroundings. The walls were textured and the lower half was painted a chocolate brown. The upper levels were more of a golden color and the mixture of the two was warm and inviting. The trim around the upper wall was both colors mixed with a rich turquoise. At each side of the stage was ornate details of cherubs and what I seen as flowers. The curtains were black velvety looking with golden fringes.

The stage was awesome. To my right, as I was facing the stage, was a small bar. Zebra print covered the front of the bar. Barstools of chrome and white leather stood tall in front of it. To my left was a small "lip" sofa on a raised platform. The white and orange pod chair with matching ottoman set slightly to my right also. Oranges and vivid reds popped out at me from all directions. Behind me lights were spinning and projecting towards the stage and I felt like I had stepped into the 60's.

I heard from behind me, "10 minutes till the doors open." Actors scurried like mice from the stage. The inflow of the crowd as they came through the doors was like a small wave. Though I have never been to a play, let alone a dress rehearsal I thought it was a decent sized crowd.

The actors came on to the stage in shifts. Acting our pieces here and there to entertain the waiting crowd. I tried to speculate as to who was who. Then the play began. I had a Julia Roberts, "Pretty Woman" moment as I set enthralled by the happenings around me. I couldn't move nor take my eyes from the stage for fear that I might miss something. Steve fidgeted and huffed beside me. I knew he was bored and that he was only doing this for me. At intermission he says, "Are you really liking this?" "Yes." I replied, "very much." He mumbled something about he would try to go with me one more time to a play but he hoped the actors didn't rhyme.

The dress rehearsal went smoothly. Very few times did I notice any mistakes and each time the actor made a smooth recovery. My favorite part of the play was the scene with Orgon's wife and Tartuffe towards the end. I thought it was funny when Orgon had hid in the chair and that Tartuffe was making passes at her and she couldn't get Orgon to come out. At the beginning of the scene, the actress has sprayed perfume on herself. Unlike sitting at a movie theatre, in a few minutes the smell of perfume came wafting out into the crowd. Steve said it reminded him a lot of "Laugh In" when they would come out dancing in between scenes.

At the end, the actors came dancing through the crowd and out the back doors where they received the audience as we left.

Overall, I think it was an awesome play. I may not subject my husband to another play but I will definitely go to another production given an opportunity.

Just ramblin about horses

2009-03-11T20:39:00.001-05:00

When I was a little girl I was totally crazy about horses. My room was full of little horse statues. I had all the Barbie horses, Dallas, Midnight, Dixie and Prancer.

I can remember way back when I was just a little bitty girl, probably one of the first memories I have, was of ole Blue. There really wasn't anything special about him. He was just an old gray horse. Blue was what people call dead broke. You could put anybody on him. Along with ole Blue there was Pepper and Buck.

Pepper was a dark colored horse and he wasn't quiet as broke as Blue but he was still a gentle horse. Buck, on the other hand, had the perfect name. Yes, Buck liked to buck.

I have a couple really funny stories that my grandpa used to tell and one of them was about Buck and me. I guess from the way he used to tell it, I was in diapers when this story happened. Anyway, I toddled out into the pasture with the horses when nobody was looking. Buck was notorious for kicking and when they discovered that I was out with the horses everybody got all out of sorts. Grandpa came out to the gate and yelled at me to get back to the house. Well, I guess I had a mind of my own and it wasn't telling me to go back to the house. Or maybe I just knew I was in trouble and didn't want to go. Either way Buck knew what needed to be done. Everybody held their breath as Buck walked over and bent down and stuck his head against my back. He then proceeded to nudge me all the back to the gate. Once we got to the gate and he knew I was safely on the other side. He trotted off a safe distance than decided to kick.

Then, when I was about 6 we got into the horse business again around our house. My grandpa and my uncle decided to buy the neighbors horses. I know we bought quite a few but I only remember Suzy and Ginger. Ginger was an old horse and she was really gentle. Grandpa decided to sell them but I remember that they kept one of the younger mares which was Suzy. A few weeks later grandpa and my uncle went to an auction that lasts 3 days up north called Four Square Auction. That's when they came home with Bart. So then we had Bart and Suzy. Bart was a black gelding and I used to imagine him being Black Beauty.

Later we had a little mule named Carrot. He pulled my uncle in a two wheeled cart. It was really fun to ride in.

My favorite horse though was Tory. His name was actually Zane Tory's Warrior. He was out of Zane Gray a famous Fox Trotter. Tory was what you called double papered. He was a Missouri Fox Trotter and an American Fox Trotter. Tory was an awesome horse. He was lady broke which means that he was partial to women, or girls. I could do anything with Tory and I did. I was never allowed to ride by myself but I did everything else. I had no fear. I would walk under his belly. I would walk behind him. I would lay all over him. I should mention. that while we had Tory, we also had an Appaloosa named Diablo. Diablo was somewhat of an onery character. He once kicked my grandpa's pocket off his jeans.

Our neighbor had a little mare named Shiloh that we kept for a while. She was a small horse. One day when I was out in the pasture with grandpa I was standing across the fence from her. As quick as a shot, she reached across the fence and tore part of my nose off. See when a horse bites down their jaws lock. I jerked back, of course and she tore the right part of my nose. For the longest time I had an indention on that side of my nose where it healed. I still have a minimal scar on the inside of my nose.

When I got older grandpa decided to get me a horse of my own. He ended up buying me a little mare that wasn't broke. That whole thing was disasterous. Me and her started off okay but it ended not so okay. She realized that Tory and Diablo lived in a pasture on the other side of the barn one day when I had her out and about teaching her to lead. Well, she broke away from me and after grandpa caught her he decided he would have a try at her. Well, she drug him down through the pasture. He looked like a sled being drug behind a sled dog. Bobbing and weaving here and there but he wasn't letting go. I went to the house because I figured he was going to shoot her if he ever got control over her. Instead, he decided she was more of a hassle than she was worth and she got sold.

We had both Tory and Diablo for a few more years and then like usual we got rid of them. I remember the day that my grandpa sold them I stood in the yard and watched him load them. I remember him calling out, "Bug, you want to ride Tory into the trailer." I cried and cried. I wouldn't even go and say goodbye. I stood and the hot, salty tears ran down my face for what seemed like hours. We never had anymore horses after them.

I can remember standing in the yard with every horse that we had and the horses would come up and stick their heads over the fence and I would feed them sugar cubes. There is nothing softer than a horses nose as it feels like velvet against your palm as they take the sugar cube.

When I was about 20, I met a deputy from Christian County. We became good friends and I used to go ride his horses. He had a paint horse named Paint. I loved riding that horse. I always hated galloping because I felt like I was going to fall out of the saddle but I loved to trot and most of all I just liked to meander around. There's something about a horse. Once you get to know your animal you become one with him. I can truly understand why they make good therapy animals.

My feelings for horses changed though recently. I worked at a hospital for about a year. It seemed like this past summer there was so many accidents involving horses. One lady was brought in because she was riding at an arena and her horse got spooked and he threw her. She ended up with a couple broken ribs and a hip fracture. The one that I remember vividly was the three year old little girl. She was brought in for being kicked in the head. She had walked behind the horse and he kicked. Luckily kids are resilient and it was more of a scare and a little laceration. Then we had a boy in his early twenties that was grooming his horse like he had a million times before. The young man walked behind the horse, reached up to curry his hindquarters and lost an ear and most of his teeth and also had some cerebral swelling. Last I had heard they weren't sure he would ever be able to speak correctly again and possibly would have some learning issues due to the damage to his skull.

After this, I came home and announced that I didn't want a horse anymore. I know that horses are just like cars, four wheelers, seadoos or any other thing. You can get hurt just as equally. The thing about cars, four wheelers and such is that it would be my fault. I would either be a lack of attention or just plain stupidity that gets me hurt. A horse, well he has a mind of his own and I can't think for him. A horse, like a dog, is going to sometimes revert back sometimes to those survival genes. So for now, I have made the decision that I will admire horses from the fence or the highway. Maybe someday I will change my mind but for now, I'm going to play it safe.

Where I'd rather be...

2009-03-10T07:52:00.000-05:00

The morning sun has just started its slow rise in the distance. It paints a brilliant picture using bright blues, purples and pinks over the top of the mountains. As I look out the window, I see the pond at the end of the newly green pasture. I can vaguely make out two miniscule black spots at the opposite side. The two black dots seem to be splashing about and I deduce that it must be the two large Shiras Moose that frequent it.

The Columbine and Goldenrod's seem to be lifting their heads to meet the suns first rays. I can hear the distant bugle of a bull elk as he calls to his herd. It's as if he is telling them to wake up and greet the day.

From above me, I can hear the muffled sound of footsteps. A steady drip, drip, drip can be heard to my right. An aromatic smell drifts through the air on the gentle breeze that comes in the open window.

Beneath my fingers, I feel the cool, smooth tops of the counters. My sweatshirt is soft against my skin and smells April fresh as it envelopes me. My legs crawl with goosebumps as the breeze cools my warm skin.

I reach for the coffee cup that is setting to my right and sip at the hot liquid. It's smooth and bold as it slides past my lips and down my throat leaving a burning trail as it goes. I can taste a hint of chocolate and whipped cream.

Thoughts of the days list of to-do's tumble through my mind. I shove them out as I take in my perfect place to be.

What I've Learned as a College Freshman

2009-03-06T14:32:00.000-06:00

Yes, I'm a 35 year old college freshman. I have survived my first 6 weeks of school. With midterms upon me, I am looking back at the things I have learned in those 6 weeks from my fellow classmen that are a generation or two behind me.

I've learned that if you're in the age range of 18-25 you don't really need to show up for class because you are already smarter than the teacher. The only days you need to show up are really test days, because evidently at that age you know more than them and they are not going to have anything important to say that you didn't already know.

I've learned that if you have a teacher that wears hearing aids, you sit at the back of the class and make fun of them or talk about your upcoming weekend camping trip and the new tent that you bought in low tones so that the teacher can't make out what you're really saying. You also make fun of the teacher because he doesn't understand what someone says and it makes you look REALLY cool to all the people that sit on the back row with you when you tell him the wrong answer but he thinks you're right and then you blurt out, "It didn't matter he can't hear anyway."

I've learned that if you study real hard and answer questions in class, someone who evidently didn't read and prepare for the chapter and doesn't participate in the class discussion, will inevitably make rude comments because the old, person in the first row always answers the teachers questions. And evidently if that old person, who happens to be between 35 and 40, feels the need to ask a question that they don't understand they have some sort of problem because they are prolonging class.

I've learned that it doesn't matter if you study for tests. It's okay to take the same class four times. And I've learned that you don't want to do ALL the algebra homework because that would be boring.

I've learned that evidently once you hit the ripe old age of 25, you don't have a life anymore. I've also learned that evidently if you make good grades it's because you don't have a life and all you do is study.

I've learned that it's okay to disrespect people. "What are they going to do about it?"

I've learned that my grandma evidently raised me wrong because who says you should be respectful to teachers and the elderly. Why should anyone use "Please", "Thank You", "Excuse Me" or any other such niceties.

I've learned that it's okay to talk back to your teachers. Hey, they wouldn't have a job if you weren't there. (Because evidently if you're the one being pissy to the teacher, you are the ONLY one that matters.)

I've learned that cheating on tests is okay. Using your cell phone in class is okay. Texting the whole time you're in class is okay. (Remember, the teacher has nothing important to say anyway.) It's okay to lie to the teacher when they tell you to quit texting in class. That your fiance sending you pictures of shoes is more important than any lecture and is considered an EMERGENCY because you don't want them wearing Doc Martins with a tux on YOUR wedding day.

I've learned that Algebra is stupid. Because where are you ever going to use this crap again?

I've learned it's okay to leave class early if it's nice outside because you have shopping to do.

I've learned that it's easier to just take the simple way out and do the bare minimum because if you do more than that, than heaven help us, the teacher will start expecting it.

I won't bore anybody with what I have learned that I will actually use in life. I won't tell you that I think some of the kids will never make it in the so called REAL world. I won't tell you that I work hard to achieve what I do on the tests and that I spend every spare minute studying. I won't tell you that I'm looking forward to seeing my first play next week. I won't tell you that I would like to stand up in my Psychology class and give the little asses in the back row a piece of my mind because they sit and make fun of a good teacher. And that some of us, actually have to pay for the education we receive and would like to get the most out of that. I won't tell you that I actually read and prepare for lectures.

I won't tell you that I've learned that my English teacher is madly in love with her husband. Loves her kiddos dearly. Likes to bake, crochet and knit. But denies that she is domestic.

I won't tell you that my Psych teacher likes to do woodworking. That he was a counselor. That the reason he has hearing aids was because he had numerous ear infections as a young child and they didn't put tubes in your ears back then because they did not have the technology.

I won't tell you that my Algebra teacher set on the back row of her class in math and thought she was cool. She was going to be a drama major but instead moved from the back row up to the front where the boy that asked all the questions of the professor became her husband. I won't tell you that my Anatomy teacher has a four year old grandson and a daughter that can't eat fresh vegetables. I've learned he is a history buff, excels in all sciences, was a high school teacher for many years before coming here, and was in love with a girl named Leslie that was his neighbor, a senior when he was a freshman and that she walked on the front line in the high school marching band.

I've learned more in 6 weeks than I ever thought I would and THANK GOD, I'm learning it from a group of teachers that actually care about the kids in their classes and the education they are giving them.

A shopping we will go...

2009-03-05T18:10:00.001-06:00

I spent the day shopping. I started off at 9:30 this morning and I got home sometime around 3:00 this afternoon. I had a large dilemma of whether I wanted a new laptop or a monitor for my old desktop. The new laptop won out. I've been moving things since I got home and trying to get my new laptop set up. I bought an HP because I'm not much of a Dell lover. I've had three and I just haven't became a die hard Dell person. I liked the first HP I ever had and if this one is half as good as it, I'll probably be alright with it.

My next stop was the Bass Pro outlet. Now there's a store if I was a lot smaller I could probably spend large amounts of money in. I bought Steve a few new camo shirts that were marked down and I bought me a camo hoodie so I can quit wearing Steve's all the time.

I decided then that I was going to go to a thrift store and so I set out to go find some bargains. PFFT...just my luck I drove out of my way to find it closed for remodeling.

Well, I had already thought of driving to Lebanon to the VF Outlet and so I cruised on down I-44 and went to the outlet mall. I found a humongous ton of bargains and it was well worth the drive. I stocked up on some jeans because they are on sale for $5.97 a pair. The nicer, more dressier pants are on sale for $4.87. Definitely worth the time and the drive if you're needing some jeans.

My drawers and closet will actually have more than t-shirts and scrubs now. This was a very relaxing and uneventful day. I really enjoyed it.

Missing my hubby

2009-03-04T18:27:00.000-06:00

It seems odd tonight around the house. I keep waiting to hear the familiar sound of that old truck come pulling in the driveway. Nobody has the television turned to Two and a Half Men. I guess maybe that's why it seems so odd around here. Paden is watching cartoons in the living room instead of what his daddy wants to watch. I don't pay much attention to the tv usually, I just know this is the hour that the bickering usually starts around here and "I can't watch this" reverberates the walls. It was also unusual that at 5:15, Colton didn't make a bee line through the house for the backdoor to tell his dad every detail of his day.

I guess why this has me in such awe is the fact that for 12 years it was just me and the boys. Steve wasn't home but on weekends and this was the norm. Last spring that all shifted and Steve became an actual employee and a regular in his own home. He goes in at 5:30 in the morning comes home at 5:15 every night. On the rare occasion has he been gone overnight. (Well, I guess if you don't count when I had my hysterectomy and he stayed gone all week when I could have used his help at home. He felt really bad that he had to stay out that week but I do love to rub it in when I can.) I guess that's why tonight seems odd and I'm kind of out of sorts. It was a new world when he came off the truck. We hadn't spent so much time together since...Well, since never. We began dating when he started driving over the road and being that I like my independence it couldn't have been a better arrangement.

With spring just around the corner, I know that these nights will become more familiar again. Paden, who is daddy's buddy, hasn't noticed he's not home yet. Colton, who has a 5:15 ritual to meet his dad as soon as he enters the backdoor, has already realized it. It will probably hit Paden when bathtime comes. Being the ripe old age of three, almost four now, he no longer wants mom to help with his baths. That's dad's territory. Mom has become chopped liver around the house lately. I'm basically only needed now if someone is throwing up or it's time to eat. The boys do love their daddy and I'm glad that he finally gets to be one to them.

The boys have left the living room and all is quiet. Too quiet I guess. It's not often that the tv is off, and though I can't faintly hear the tv in Colton's room, the silence is almost deafening in here. The only noise I hear is the tapping of my keys on the keyboard and the hum of the refrigerator. I guess, after all these years, I do miss that crazy man when he's not home.

Hmmmm....

2009-03-03T10:48:00.000-06:00

Every once in a while you have to set back and just....hmmmm....a situation. I have a friend that is in quite a pickle. I've watched him allow himself to get in this pickle over the years. See, he has a heart of gold. It's not just gold plated it's solid. He'd do anything for someone he cares about and that's why he's in this pickle. I guess that's the difference between us, I would have to look at the long term and weigh the consequences, he just acts in the moment and does.

He's always been there when I've been going through a rough patch and he's tried to make me see the other side of things when I had blinders on and only wanted to look at it from my standpoint. So I just want him to know I'm there for him. I think he knows that.

My friend is in a new relationship, which I hope is everything he wants and more because he deserves that. She seems like a pretty good girl from what I've seen of her. I've only seen her twice and I don't have anything bad to say about her. I'm a pretty good judge of character and I usually draw a conclusion about somebody from the first time I meet them. I don't know if that's fair to people but I seem to be pretty good at knowing if somebody is fake or not. I'm definitely one that is not going to pretent to like someone. If I don't like you, you'll know it. I'm just that way.

The deal with my friend is, he has assumed the role as "caretaker". Up until now, he just went with the flow. The job he has keeps him out on the road. He has never had a reason to come home so he has never really asked a lot to be home. Well, now he has a reason and him coming home falls on deaf ears. My husband worked for the same company for a while but he let them know they wouldn't push him around and keep him out. He's kind of "strange" that way...you know, his family is more important than a job. Well, I know for a fact that the people at this company go home when they have something they want to do and they leave work in the middle of the afternoon if there is something they want to do and it don't matter if 1 or 20 trucks are waiting to get a load. Now lets think about this...would you go home and say to your drivers, "To bad, I have something I want to do and you'll just have to wait til tomorrow and see what I can find."? I dispatched for a while. I couldn't even make my own husband happy let alone a fleet. Truck drivers are "hard to get along with", whiney individuals. Most of them love drama. I think they live for it.

Oh, wait!!! I'm totally getting off of the subject, truckdrivers is a whole other post that I could go on a rant for days about.

Back to my story...

Anyway....because this friend has never really wanted to come home and they know he will not fight back, they are pushing him around and he has been out since Valentine's. That sucks. He didn't even get to spend Valentine's with his new sweetie!!! At this point, it doesn't look like they are trying to get him home this weekend either. And from the last I heard, they are only trying to make it a trip through the house maybe next Monday. Now tell me, if she has a regular job when the hell are they supposed to see each other? So this really pisses me off because I don't like to see nice people that work their ass off get stepped on.

Then you have my friends family. They are a good family. The parents are nice enough. I always thought the dad was a little bit of a dead beat though. I don't know the whole story...it's just my opinion. See, he lets my friend basically support him and his wife. His wife works. He don't. My friend took over the mortgage on the house and makes the house payment, the parents live there. My friend basically supplies them with a vehicle to drive. And when they go on trips they use his credit card to charge on. He don't know what to do about this and his once immaculate credit rating is now ruined. They keep one credit card totally maxed and the tell him, "We're doing the best we can. We pay the minimum." I know that is what most Americans do...Pay the minimum. But lets all get real here. They are never in their lifetime going to pay off the credit card. So who's going to get stuck with this maxed out card. BINGO...my friend.

My friend also has a younger brother that seems to think that his brother should pay for everything for him and co sign for everything for him. And once again, we see that credit rating taking a plummet. His brother got into financial problems and was trying to rob Peter to pay Paul and was using the check cashing thing but oops...he wrote a few checks that he couldn't cover. Who paid him out? Yes, that's right. The brother needed a new car but couldn't get financed? Who co signed for him? Yes, you're right again. He needed to lease an apartment and needed the money plus a co signer, guess who he called? Kudos to you. You're right again. The parents needed a new vehicle? Who co signed? Gosh, you're good at this.

Do you see where this is all going? Well, he asked for my opinion last night. Let's just say when it comes to these matters I have never been the one to be politically correct. I shoot from the hip and if you don't like it you shouldn't have asked. I apologized this morning to him and then went on for another five minutes about what he should do.

I understand trying to help your parents. I'm sure when I get my degree and get my job, if I'm able I will. BUT, I'm an only child. He has TWO brothers. In my eyes, I think they should share the burden. Why should my friend suffer the whole financial burden on his own? The brother, well, I think he just needs to freaking GROW UP!!! Quit living the whole, "Look at me, I'm a bachelor and I live in KC and I go out all the time." He has a flipping college degree let's find a job that it's for and WORK!!!! Give up that nightlife!

OHHHHH...did I say, he also wrecked the car that my friend ended up paying half the payments on and then wasn't going to let him have any of the insurance check PLUS he now has my friends pickup and he doesn't have a vehicle when he comes home now. The only vehicle that he has to drive is his semi or his parents car.

This whole situation has me on this roller coaster. I love my friend dearly and I hate it that he's experiencing it. When I think about the whole thing, I want to shake my friend but at the same time I just have to set back and go....HMMMM.

Don't laugh...but I've went crazy

2009-02-21T12:02:00.000-06:00

Oh my...I was actually giddy to receive my package yesterday from the UPS driver. I have fell in love with the most awesome thing in the world. It is flexible, colorful, easy to use, goes wherever I place it and says what I want it to. Post It made these wonderful Sortable Cards. Post It Sortable Index Cards!!! Don't laugh at me. It's getting older, I think, but the simplier things in life make me all gooey inside. I do love these little cards. They are really making my books expand. I can make notes as I read and stick it on the page in the book and then when I want to study I can take them out and use them. I'm kind of funny though, I always put them back in the book when I'm done.

Ms. A told us to buy some colored plastic clips to mark our books. I've hunted and hunted. Like the Post It cards I couldn't find them anywhere in town. I finally found a catalog office store in North Carolina that had them. Now my books are all colorful. They now have highlighting, clips, Post Its and wee little Post It flags everywhere. A young girl that sets by me in Anatomy told me that she had never seen anyone but teachers have such heavily marked and tagged books. I'm taking it as a compliment. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to take it but...

I'm still so proud of my little accessories. I've showed them to everybody that's dropped by today. And I just wanted to share them on here too.

The Mom Song....Did they write this for me?

2009-02-21T11:51:00.000-06:00

Can you believe some "Mom" must have took the time to write a song about us? I seen it and I had to share. I love the Lone Ranger music, too. It's just what I needed today. Hope you enjoy.

I'm declaring war!!

2009-02-20T17:02:00.000-06:00

It's time to eat!! This is my favorite meal. I love cashew chicken, egg rolls and crab rangoon. I spent the afternoon making this a few weeks ago. The boys think that the "Green Stuff" doesn't go with the rest of it. I just rolled my eyes.

I've declared war on my midsection this week. As soon as I did, Steve went on a shopping spree at the day old bread store in Sedalia. I have a table loaded down with bread, cinnamon rolls, apple danish, fig type cookies and donuts. I have been doing well and not eating them. I turn my head as I pass and suck some more water down.

Colton has sprouted up and slimmed down lately. He rides his bike all the time. He got a new Mongoose from Santa this year that was silver and blue. It's a 21 speed and he's getting the hang of shifting gears. It's also an off road bike so he rides it all over these 120 acres. I think I'm going to have him dig my bike out and air the tires up and maybe I'll start off and ride with him. I'm not sure I can go as far as he does but anything is better than nothing.

You know in the 'good ole days' when I wasn't on the backside of thirty I could eat Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Dr. Pepper and survive. Now...not so much. If I even look at a Reese's I go up a pant size. Of course in those days most of my meals were...Isadora's buy a drink get a steak and potato... Ladies night all the pizza and beer you could consume... You know those healthy days? Okay, maybe not but we thought so at the time.

Well, it's time to get back in shape. After all, summer is upon us and if I even want to consider shorts I need to lose some weight. Wish me luck...Here I go!!!

There's a bite in the air...

2009-02-18T15:50:00.000-06:00

When I got out of class today I was expecting it to be cold outside. It really wasn't bad. When I got home, which is 45 minutes away, it was cold. I wouldn't say bitterly cold because I think of that as teens but the bite of winter was back in the air. Ole Jack Frost had decided to not let winter slip away so quick. I opened my back door and my new Gooseberry Patch cookbook had arrived. When I walked out to the mailbox after walking next door to retrieve Paden I also had received my heirloom seed catalog. It's time to start thinking about that. I'm going to plant a seperate little garden of my own this year. Actually, I'm calling it Colton and Paden's garden just so mom won't have a fit when I plant it seperate from the massive 3 gardens that we already plant. I'm thinking about making this little heirloom garden a kind of raised bed garden.

When Steve and I lived in our duplex in Republic we had the best little garden right out the backdoor. I planted a couple tomato plants, a squash plant, a few hills of corn, and a couple pepper plants. It may not have been a big garden but it was a HUGE producer. I think all the love and caring that we put into it had something to do with it, too. We would go outside nightly and set by the little garden and Steve would sneak out and weed it constantly. We've had numerous gardens since then but I think because of the size we've never took the time or gave it the love that we did that first garden.

So while the bite may be in the air, dreams of warmer weather are in the heart. It's time to go curl up on the couch with my cuddly John Deere blanket, my cookbook and my seed catalog and a nice cup of hot chocolate.

Have a good evening everyone.

2009-02-16T12:44:00.000-06:00

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butter fly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask ' How are you?' Do you hear the reply? When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, 'We'll do it tomorrow.' And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say 'Hi? When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift....Thrown away..... Life is not a race Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.

I received this in an email this morning. Let's all have a wonderful day and call someone up that we've let get away.

Enjoy your day.

Valentine's Day

2009-02-15T13:55:00.000-06:00

Well Heart Day has come and gone. My honey went to Sonic and bought me a Route 44 Cherry, Vanilla Dr. Pepper and I fixed him a t-bone steak and onion rings.

I don't care for roses that much. I don't like idea of spending all that money of flowers that are half as much through the year then them dieing in a couple of weeks. There was a time that I expected roses but age has made me wiser.

I don't like going out to eat on Valentine's either. The restaurants are usually packed and my husband isn't one to have the patience for lines. Instead I like staying home and cooking for him and the boys. That way ALL my sweethearts and I can enjoy our evening together.

After dinner we all cuddled on the couch and watched Open Season 2 and Space Buddies. Thumbs up on both of them. The boys really enjoyed them.

I hope that everybody enjoyed their Valentine's Day however you spent it. Don't gorge on all those chocolates and enjoy your roses if you got them.

BOYS ARE PIGS!!!

2009-02-13T17:56:00.001-06:00

I live with a bunch of slobs. I'm not perfect but I can clean this house top to bottom and...BOOM!!! BOOM!!! BOOM!!! BOYS ARE PIGS!!! My Anatomy teacher told my class the other day, "It's the way they are programmed." Well, I want to find that program and reinstall a "cleaner" program.

I woke up this morning and thought when I walked into the living room that a monster must have came to my house in the middle of the night and threw up in it. TOYS, SOCKS, PILLOWS FROM THE COUCH...everywhere. "But Mom, I've been checking off my chore chart." "Really?", I say. "Is that why there are not any marks by Clean the Living Room, Vaccuum the Living Room?"

My preteens answer, "I kept my room clean all week." Now I know why the sudden interest in only going to HIS room only at bedtime. It keeps him and little brother OUT of his room so the "cleaning" part is much easier. I have also discovered after a trip to little brother's room where all the things are that I have asked to be put up are...THREW IN THE DOORWAY! "Well, he don't play in there that much. Can't we just store his stuff in there." A small trail that an ant could follow leads in the doorway and across the room. I was so proud the last time I cleaned this room, it only took two days, guess I'll have to work faster this time.

My husband has misplaced a box of tax papers in the storage shed. Like a bumbling idiot I had the hair brained idea I would go down there and find them. See I spent the greater part of a week sorting this shed and organizing it last summer so I knew that it would surely be easy enough to find. Right? Another bomb, only slightly larger, has reached my shed!! As I opened the door I truly had tears form. What has happened? It looks like a break in gone wrong. Instead of ransacking and taking, it's just been ransacked. "Oh, I'm going to go through that shed myself and you're going to start hauling all that stuff to Goodwill." Hmmm....I'm going to haul it to Goodwill and he's going to go through it. I really don't see that happening. First of all, there would be nothing left in the shed and second, I don't want to make that many trips.

I believe Spring cleaning is going to start today at the Rader house. Maybe I should use Colton's example. I'll only let everybody in the house when it's time for bed. Surely then my house will stay clean. Somehow though, I don't see that plan working. Instead I guess I'll just do like always and CLEAN, CLEAN, CLEAN.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Wow! Where is the year going?

2009-02-10T07:19:00.000-06:00

Why is it the older I get the faster the years go? I can not believe the it's already February. It's almost Valentine's Day. It's almost Paden's 4th birthday. Steve's another year older. I'll be another year older right before Paden. AND I am starting my 5th week of college. I'm still thinking it's surreal that I'm even there and we're almost to mid terms.

Spring is just around the corner. That's a good thing. I'm not much on winter. I like to have the windows open and breeze blowing through the house. At night sometimes you can hear the coyotes yipping down at the bluff on the river. It's that time of year that you can hear the baby calves calling to their mommas when they get lost. The birds singing. I love it when the whippoorwill comes. The smell of lilac's as the breeze blows softly at night. Rain. I'm not much on storm's but I do like rain. The way it patters on the tin roof.

Then school will be out for Colton and it will be hay season. Colton's gonna do the raking again this year. One thing will be different though. He won't have to wait on Papa to get home. Dad has officially retired now so the hay won't have to wait on him. I can't believe my oldest will be a teenager at the end of the year. He's grew up so fast and sometimes I wonder where it has went.

Garden time. The garden will be growing and we should be getting our first delicious morsels from the plants.

Summer will be in full swing and then we will be loading up for our road trip to Raton, New Mexico. Colton is on a state YHEC (Youth Hunter Education Contest) team that will be going to Nationals the last week of July. Any extra time is dedicated to studying the NRA Hunter's guide, practicing archery, shotgun and muzzle loading. We'll get back from Nationals and then it will be time for the state 4-H shoot. School will be starting for both of us too.

Fall....apple picking. The smell of a fresh baked Apple Crisp. MMM...MMM. Then we'll be raking the yard and Paden will be scattering the leaves as fast as Colton rakes. Colton will be getting ready to leave on his first out of state hunting trip. I will be a nervous wreck until he gets back. It will be time to start planning the holiday feast.

Turkey season. Chilly mornings in the blind communing with nature. Waiting. Listening to the deer as the come ambling by completely unaware. The squirrels as they harvest the fallen acorns.

Christmas shopping...hustle and bustle. Decorating the tree and the house.

Then we will back to the cold of winter...

But until then, I just have to stop and smell the roses and take the days one at a time. Today....I think it will be swinging with my boys and smelling the rain from the storm that is moving in.

I Think I Bombed my Test

2009-02-06T20:39:00.000-06:00

Well, I don't think I did so well on my Anatomy test. I know that I got the essay questions right. I was doing those in my sleep all night last night. I studied, I really did but everything that I thought would be on the test was not what was on it. I also think I may have got some of the historical figures mixed up. I knew I hated these first three chapters basically because cytology, history and histology have never intrigued me. I didn't feel good either and that didn't help things out. I've spent the past two days blowing my nose and sneezing. I know now that I shouldn't go out in 11 degree weather with wet hair. Even if Colton thinks it's funny when I have ice in my hair.

On the brighter side of things...I know that I should do well on my Algebra test that's coming up Monday.

The weather was wonderful outside today. The temperature climbed into the 60's here. We had a southerly breeze and it was gorgeous outside. I played outside with the boys when I got home for a little while. Paden is getting into swinging.

I'm going to bed. We're off to see Spiderman tomorrow at the Autofest in Springfield. I'm sure Colton will have to build a model car. But the little man is only interested in SPIDERMAN!!! It will probably turn out like the Santa Claus thing. He'll make it almost there and back out.

Guess we'll see tomorrow.

Cleaning, Washing, Studying

2009-02-05T10:16:00.000-06:00

Well here it is 10 in the morning and I'm supposed to have the house cleaned where I could devote the majority of my afternoon to studying for my Anatomy test tomorrow. I hate cleaning and so I'm in slow motion. I wonder sometimes how a house gets so dirty. I can work so hard to get everything perfect and then BOOM it's back to the way it was. I bought a new desk on Monday afternoon and Colton and I went and picked it up on Tuesday. Now my living room is a total disaster because I had to move everything to get the desk in. It's a very pretty rolltop though. I figure me and it will spend loads of hours together over the next 6 years.

Laundry and stuff is piling up again. I just got the laundry completly done. I was so proud cause I didn't think there was a dirty sock or anything else left in this house. Then here comes Colton..."Mom, I forgot to bring you my laundry." AAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!!! I bet there is another three loads of just his stuff now. I think my pre-teen has more clothes than I do. Scratch that...I know he does.

I measured Paden this morning. He's grown three and one half inches since last February. My baby is getting so big. I have to measure Colton this afternoon when he gets home. If he's grown up as much as his feet have grown out then he'll be three sizes bigger too. He's losing all his little chunk around the middle from all that bike riding he does, too. Now his jeans are getting too big and he thinks we need to go dig out his smaller ones.

Well, guess I better get back to the grind. OH YEAH...I forgot. I don't work at Cox anymore. I quit so I could devote my full attention to studying. I know that what lies ahead is not going to be easy and I want to be the best, as usual. Steve said, "I expect nothing less than an "A" average." Hmmm....Well, lets hope I don't let him down.

2009-01-28T10:18:00.000-06:00

GOOD MORNING!!! The boys have waited all winter for snow. Especially Paden he got a new sled for Christmas and he has wanted to be able to sled everytime we got a little skift of snow. Big brother helped him down the hill towards Mema and Papa's house. In this picture they were packing the snow down so that the sled would go faster. It was really kind of funny, I spent 30 minutes dressing Paden and he stayed outside maybe 20 minutes. He didn't have any insulated gloves so I put two pair of his little unlined ones on. He couldn't understand why I put on two pair of socks. To him that just wasn't right. He had so many clothes on that the poor little guy couldn't get up on his own after he fell off the sled. We spent a lot of time picking him up. He loved to roll on the ground. Then he got snow on his face and that was all he wanted. He went inside at Mema's cause it was good and toasty in there.

When Paden went inside I decided I would push Colton down the hill. That was such a treat. I pushed him once and he wasn't ready and he fell face first in the snow. That was hilarious. Colton is like me and really has a serious side and the look on his face under all that snow was so priceless. Then I went to push him down the hill and was holding on to him to give him a running start and he veered one way and I went the other so we both wiped out. I don't think we take many moments to get down on that level and be kids again. We get so wrapped up with life and we forget to take the time to play.

This was a pretty awesome morning and even as much as I don't like the cold and I can't say I'm really fond of the snow. It turned out really awesome. This afternoon we might even have to do it again. If I ever get warm, that is.

Oh My Goodness....I actually am in college!!

2009-01-27T09:35:00.000-06:00

Do you ever have things happen that you just think....Am I really supposed to be doing this?

I started OTC the 12th of this month. I was so excited!!

The week before I started the stomach virus had ran it's course through our house. All I could think was, Please let us be over it before Monday.

Well, here comes Colton at 6 am... "Mom, Mema needs to talk to you on the phone." I went to the phone and Mom tells me they're taking my dad to the hospital in the ambulance. At first it didn't quite sink in. I called Steve to tell him and he told me he was on his way home. Once he got there I ran out to take care of my Grandma and get her something to eat and then headed to Cox. I went in and found Mom and Dad.

Now, let me tell you being an EKG tech sometimes has its disadvantages and this happened to be one of them. I found my Dad hooked up to the AED with a heart rate of 10. Not good. The EKG was terrible. I hadn't seen so many LONG pauses. Well, I probably had, BUT they weren't on my Dad.

Like a trooper I left and headed for school. I knew Mom and Dad was in good hands and I couldn't do anything. I got to school....NO PARKING!!! What was I going to do? Call my husband and have a totally breakdown, of course. After a couple minutes of Tough Love on the phone as I drove around aimlessly missing every spot that somebody backed out of, I drove to the far end of campus and started my hike. 32 pound backpack in hand. I made it...3 minutes late...but I made it. Thank goodness I have the coolest teacher for English.

Well, the rest of the day wasn't too bad. My algebra teacher isn't my fave but I'll deal with it. So far I'm doing well in there.

Wednesday, I had went and bought a rolling backpack because I had decided that if I had to park at the fars end of the campus I wasn't going to pack that 32 pound thing. Instead, I drug the strap off of it because my stand in babysitter was running late and I was in a hurry and didn't notice the strap dragging on the ground.

Friday went off and I didn't have any problems. Maybe Murphy was picking on somebody else? Well, we didn't have class on Monday because of MLK day. Poor Murphy he had to leave me alone then too.

Wednesday... Murphy came knocking again. I stopped to get a coffee for the drive. I made it almost to Fair Grove and decided that my coffee should be cool enough to drink...well it probably would have been if it would have actually made it in my mouth. The lid wasn't on and it went all down the front of my shirt and light colored denim jeans. I asked myself, "Self, do you think anybody will notice?" Self laughed at me. One of those lay down on the floor rolling, my side hurts, belly laughs. So going over a mental map of Springfield, I went to Wal-Mart at Glenstone and Kearney bought clothes, changed in the bathroom and hurried once again to campus.

Friday...well, my wheel fell off my backpack. Let's just say...I'm going to get into shape. I'm back to packing that backpack though it's already starting to feel lighter.

Monday...I made it home before the freezing rain and sleet started and I didn't drink anything on the drive in and I left home at 7 to be at my 9 o'clock class...just in case.

Now...let's hope tomorrow goes okay.