Missing my hubby

It seems odd tonight around the house. I keep waiting to hear the familiar sound of that old truck come pulling in the driveway. Nobody has the television turned to Two and a Half Men. I guess maybe that's why it seems so odd around here. Paden is watching cartoons in the living room instead of what his daddy wants to watch. I don't pay much attention to the tv usually, I just know this is the hour that the bickering usually starts around here and "I can't watch this" reverberates the walls. It was also unusual that at 5:15, Colton didn't make a bee line through the house for the backdoor to tell his dad every detail of his day.

I guess why this has me in such awe is the fact that for 12 years it was just me and the boys. Steve wasn't home but on weekends and this was the norm. Last spring that all shifted and Steve became an actual employee and a regular in his own home. He goes in at 5:30 in the morning comes home at 5:15 every night. On the rare occasion has he been gone overnight. (Well, I guess if you don't count when I had my hysterectomy and he stayed gone all week when I could have used his help at home. He felt really bad that he had to stay out that week but I do love to rub it in when I can.) I guess that's why tonight seems odd and I'm kind of out of sorts. It was a new world when he came off the truck. We hadn't spent so much time together since...Well, since never. We began dating when he started driving over the road and being that I like my independence it couldn't have been a better arrangement.

With spring just around the corner, I know that these nights will become more familiar again. Paden, who is daddy's buddy, hasn't noticed he's not home yet. Colton, who has a 5:15 ritual to meet his dad as soon as he enters the backdoor, has already realized it. It will probably hit Paden when bathtime comes. Being the ripe old age of three, almost four now, he no longer wants mom to help with his baths. That's dad's territory. Mom has become chopped liver around the house lately. I'm basically only needed now if someone is throwing up or it's time to eat. The boys do love their daddy and I'm glad that he finally gets to be one to them.

The boys have left the living room and all is quiet. Too quiet I guess. It's not often that the tv is off, and though I can't faintly hear the tv in Colton's room, the silence is almost deafening in here. The only noise I hear is the tapping of my keys on the keyboard and the hum of the refrigerator. I guess, after all these years, I do miss that crazy man when he's not home.