As I sit here, the tears running down my cheeks can be compared to the rain rolling down the windows. A chapter of my life is drawing to a close and the fear of the unknown is creeping in around me. I know that I can not go through what I am much longer and I am desperately searching for a solution and a way out of this hole that I have fell head first into.

A discussion among my study group last night about marriages and how they should be and what makes a happy marriage left me so broken. The words, "I look around and I see these unhappy people. Why don't they just get out?" echoes and rattles around in my head.

Getting out is where I'm headed. Getting there is wearing me down. I cry all the time now. I can't seem to organize anything and my focus is never where it should be.

A friend asks me all the time if I'm okay. I lie and tell them I am but inside I'm dieing and I know I'm not okay but because I don't feel that I should burden them with my problems, I say I'm fine. I'm sure if they could actually see me when they ask they would know I'm not okay but if I keep them at a distance I can keep them from seeing.

I never even made it home last night and the fighting started. We stayed late at study session because we got to discussing marriages and personal life and when I called to say I was heading home the accusations started. Earlier, when I left Applebee's from having dinner I was questioned why I was still there and just leaving. I can not live inside those conditions. When the trust is gone, so is the marriage. I lived for 12 years and never accused him of having anything and it would have been so easy for him because he was everywhere.

Little things over time have made a mountain. A mountain that has grown and divided us. At one time, I would have climbed the mountain. Now, I look at it, walk away, then look back for any signs. All I can see is hurt and I push farther on. The forest is looming before me and I cringe at the unknown. Somewhere in the midst of all those trees lies a meadow. If I can just reach it, I will feel it envelope me and then and only then will I be able to rest and finally feel at home.

Life...

Sometimes we are given second chances. I believe the Lord does this so that we may correct the mistakes we made previously and get us back on track. But, what if the correction makes another mistake, or maybe not so much as a mistake but hurt and sorrow.

I am at a place in my life, currently, that a correction stands before me. Do I try to correct what is wrong or do I continue to plod on down the course that I had previously chosen. I wish that the "right-or-wrong" was more black and white than what it appears. More lives and more feelings than just my own will be hurt.

I want to be me. Me, who is she? Well, I used to know. A friend told me the other night, "Gina, that's not like you." Gosh, what do you say to that? I used to be strong, confident and full of life. Now...not so much. EXCEPT, when I am in class. When I hit the campus, I am the girl I used to be. I had a teacher tell me the other night, "You are gonna make one hell of a nurse. You're confident in your answers and you work on the problem until you figure it out. You just have that confidence about you." That was a great compliment.

The last week has been one of inner turmoil. I've recaptured a part of me that was gone. I can only compare how I'm feeling to watch a flower blooming. Ever so slowly, I'm opening back up. There is sunshine in my life again, if only for a moment. A piece that seems to be the one I've been missing is peaking out. Maybe, just maybe, I will be complete...someday.

I want...

This post comes from a combination of things. Yesterday, I was reading the student website set up by Ms. A. (Yes, I know I'm not in her class this semester but she has such an impact on my life that I like to go see what she has her new batch of students up to.) Since not many had posted on her comments section, I decided to post. (I'm sure I wasn't supposed to but I felt like helping out.) She had talked about "listing". Her listing was post comments and start with, "I believe..." to which I replied...

I believe…

in love at first sight.

that love is worth climbing out on a limb for.

that true love never ends.

that God give us second chances to change the mistake we made the first time.

that true friends are like the seasons, they may go away for awhile but they always come back when its time.

I also got a horoscope yesterday. (No, I do not believe in these things but it was extremely uncanny that it came when so much is going on in my life and it parallelled it.) So sometime around 3 or 4 this morning I woke up and started thinking about the last part which read, "what truly matters to you in love." So here I go.

I want...

someone that loves me unconditionally.

someone that when I'm watching a "sappy, chick flick" will put his arm around me and let me cry on his shoulder.

someone that will slow dance with me in the kitchen.

someone that doesn't tell me to shutup when I sing with the radio.

someone to walk with in the evening and listen to the whippoorwills, crickets and frogs.

someone that picks a bouquet of wildflowers, "just because".

someone that can't sleep in the middle of the night because they realize I'm not beside them.

someone that takes the time to come see me when I have to stay in hospital for three days and doesn't call for a 25 minute conversation because they are working in Branson and it's too far to drive.

someone to cook with me and occassionally for me.

someone that knows me inside and out.

someone that doesn't have to have the tv on the minute he hits the door or wakes up and that pays more attention to what I have to say than to it.

someone that believes long, deep kisses are for more times than just when you're in the mood.

someone that shoulders as much responsibility as me.

someone that says, "I'm sorry" when he's wrong.

someone that doesn't always have to be right and doesn't go out of his way to prove me wrong, even if I am.

someone to take care of me on the rare occassion that I get sick.

someone to make me feel safe.

someone that believes in give and take.

someone that doesn't feel the need to guilt you into a decision.

someone that makes me laugh.

someone that doesn't pretend to be something they are not.

These are the things that I would look for. They are mostly little, sentimental things but the little things,those silly, trivial, little things, fill in the voids the big pieces can't cover. I'm sure to some these may seem stupid and trivial but this is what I think. These are my things and yours may be different, but that is when you need to know if your things and their things make a whole instead of just a bunch of pieces. I have came to realize that if your pieces don't fit, then you're just like an uncompleted jigsaw puzzle. You may have some pieces that join but in the end you still don't go together and become complete.

Friends, apologies and life

Who knew that an apology would lead to so many confessions that should have came out years ago?

I have been in such a turmoil for two days. My heart feels broken; shattered in a million pieces. My brain has been collectively going through files and digging pieces of this and that out constantly until my head feels like it has swelled and is on the point of explosion. And my eyes, so many tears have fell in two days time that they feel like sandpaper. I'm not sure I could muster a smidgeon of fluid from them if I had to.

"What-could-have-been" is four words that I'm not sure I will ever hear and be able to get past again. "I wish you would have." will echo in the hollow corners of my brain for days and months. I know that, eventually, the conversation that I shared with a friend will fade but I also know that in my heart he will always be one of the most special people that I have ever known.

One reaction from me could have changed my whole life path but better communication between the two of us could have changed both of ours. Now, as I sit here writing, I realize how important it is that you should share your feelings about someone with them instead of keeping them to yourself. Yeah, you may get hurt but knowing now what I know, I wish I would have taken that chance. To borrow a quote from a friends Facebook page, "True love doesn't have a happy ending because true love never ends."
God has a plan for each of us. He brings people into our lives and he takes them away. I am fortunate to be surrounded by people that will support me even when I have so many negative people that don't and I am fortunate that he brought a true friend back into my life again.

Can someone help me?

I don't know where to begin. Years ago, I made a mistake in not being there for a friend. I was too busy with a new life and when this person needed me, I wasn't there. So many times I have looked back and wondered what would have happened if I would have been there. I'm sure there were others that I wasn't there for but this one person has haunted the corners of my mind for ages.

I ran across that person the other day on the internet. I made a few comments on their page and they did the same in return. All the while, I wondered, "Do they remember me?" I got my answer. They do. Now, do I say, "I'm sorry." Do I try to apologize for something that maybe they don't remember and they will think I'm crazy for even worrying about? Or, do I clear my conscience and let this person know what they really meant to me and how ashamed I am for not being the friend that they needed? Should I link my blog and hope that when they read this, they will know I'm talking about them?

I could use some help or reasoning if anyone wants to share.

A Busy Summer

As I only got out of summer school a few weeks ago, my summer vacation has been spent in a blur. The last day of finals I came home and sighed a big sigh of relief. I had made it through an action packed eight weeks of chemisty, got an "A" on the lab practical and finished the class with an "A". I slipped a little in Nutrition and got a "B". I deserved it because I could never, no matter how hard I tried bring my grade above the 89% I carried the whole semester in there. So I am a bit discouraged that I have lost my perfect 4.0 GPA.

Then, I got up Friday, got a haircut, came home and finally decided I should start packing. Nothing like waiting to the last minute, but that's me when it comes to these kind of things. I find I'm usually more on top of it when I wait and I don't leave anything behind. As I was packing, Steve and Dave dropped by and brought me a fish sandwich from the Louisburg Picnic.

I found the fish sandwiches this year were not nearly as good as previous years. Probably because the original "secret" recipe has long since passed with the elders of the community down there. On the sandwich I received, the fish didn't even cover the bun that it was on. It was disappointing but I had bigger fish to fry in finishing packing.

Steve surprised me coming home a few hours later. He decided we would leave earlier than his anticipated time of 5:30 or 6:00. This worked out very well as we had to run by Sam's Club and Bass Pro on the way through Springfield and we still made it out of Springfield before 6:00. We had a really good time travelling out to New Mexico. Steve sung and entertained us most of the way across Oklahoma that night. We were all pretty lighthearted and ready for the week ahead. We stopped in Woodward, Oklahoma that night. The motel was not necessarily the cleanest but it gave us a place to lay our heads for much needed sleep at 2:00 in the morning. We got up around 6 the next morning and continued on. We stopped in Guymon, Oklahoma for breakfast a Braum's. I must say it was the worst Braum's we had EVER been in. The floor was disgusting and you had to watch as you walked because it was so slippery that you felt like you were on ice. The food wasn't the greatest either but it filled our bellies and we were off once more.

As we entered New Mexico, nothing really changed much for a few miles. Then as we started our ascent after going through Clayton we could see the tops of the mountains. Antelope were plentiful along our last hour of driving. As we entered Raton, the Sangre de Cristo mountain range loomed in the background. Our Microtel was easily accessible but not available to check into when we first arrived. We met up with the Johnson family for lunch at Arby's which was about the same as the Braum's in Guymon. Also the prices were totally outrageous. It was eight dollars for a combo meal!!!

We went for a drive that afternoon, after stopping at the Visitor's Center. We found the Whittington Center. When the Cook family arrived we took another drive up Hwy 555 to find an abundant herd of elk and numerous mule deer.

Sunday, we practiced and sighted in the guns. Due to the elevation change and the air being thinner the ammunition flies much different than with the thicker air here in the Ozarks.

Sunday night, as the Junior team had gathered in the Coach's room to go over what they could shoot and their limits for the Safety trail we received word that one of the team members lost his Grandpa. The mood changed tremendously as we waited for more information and what was going to happen. Austin decided to stay and compete as long as they could leave and get home in time for the funeral. His dad flew out the next day after opening ceremonies.

The rest of the week was spent scurrying here and there trying to get all eight events done in time for Austin to leave. Each afternoon we became accustomed to a torrential downpour that lasted 30 minutes to an hour. We had hail on Wednesday and didn't get to finish up like we had planned so were on the range early on Thursday. The boys had to finish up orienteering and then do shotgun. We got Austin and his mom on the road before noon, though.

We road tripped up Trinidad, Colorado that afternoon and got our Colorado Small Game Permits for Saturday's prairie dog hunt.

We got back and Terri, Marilyn and I went to the laundry mat to do some laundry. I had packed enough that I really wouldn't have had to do laundry but the Junior and Senior teams wanted to match for closing ceremonies.

The boys done a fantastic job for being a rookie team and with one team member that had a lot of other things on his mind. James-Michael, as an individual won first place in rifle. James-Michael and Tanner, as individuals took first and second place in orienteering and as a team the Junior Division boys won first place in orienteering. I was a VERY proud mom!

This past week I have played a LOT on Facebook and not got a whole lot done. I did reunite with an old friend. A friend that while they were there I didn't realize what I had until it was too late.

I went to Welcome Day yesterday at OTC. I picked up my books and saw the bright, smiling faces of the new incoming freshmen. I listened to a mom and daughter fight over a cell phone as I stood in line waiting for my books. I smiled inwardly. Lots of parents were there with their children.

I remembered that this is a big step for them. One that I didn't make until January of this year and I'm just a wee bit too old to have someone hold my hand BUT it sure would be nice at times.

So here we go....Fall semester has arrived and I am 10 credits from being a sophomore!!!

We’re Ready for the Challenge

(l-r bottom row, Seiler Johnson, Tanner Johnson, James-Michael Cook, Colton Rader, Reed Wiser and Austin Witt l-r back row, Jr. Coach Tim Johnson, Ryan Jones, Matthew Brooks, Tyler Brigance, Robert Jones and Sr. Coach Gary Brigance)

Are you ready for the Challenge?

By Regina Slack-Rader

Each year over 16,000,000 men and women purchase a hunting license. In 1949, New York was the first state to pass a law requiring hunter safety training. Today, hunter's education is required in all fifty states and provinces. Each year, the states and provinces put on the Youth Hunter Education Challenge for the graduates of the hunter safety program to provide a greater knowledge of what was learned in the classroom and a to provide a more enhanced hands-on skills competition.

In Missouri, the YHEC contest is held in June at the United Sportsman's Club in Jefferson City. Participants range in age from eleven through eighteen years of age and compete individually and as teams. Everyone competes in eight disciplines.

They must shoot a .22 caliber rim fire hunting rifle at silhouettes, a repeating shotgun at sporting clays, a traditional type muzzleloader at swingers and a hunting type bow on a 3-D course.

Contestants also must be able to do an orienteering course which includes direction and distance finding, estimation of distance, map reading, plotting a course, interpreting a map and other general knowledge of maps and symbols.

Each participant must also walk a hunter safety trail. On this trail they will cross obstacles or be presented with a shoot/don't shoot situation. This competition presents the participants with many ethical, legal and safety situations.

Wildlife identification is another important part of this challenge. Contestants are asked to identify wildlife from fur, feather, skull, track, mounts, antler, horn, scat or other signs that wild animals may leave in an outdoors environment.

The final and most crucial component of the competition is the 50 question written test. This test includes questions from the Missouri Hunter Education Student Manual, the Missouri Wildlife Code Book and the Summary Code booklet.

A senior and a junior team from the Fair Grove area competed in the state competition on June 12-14^th. In the senior division, The Missouri Sharp Shooters, led by Gary Brigance, consisted of Matthew Brooks (Fair Grove), Tyler Brigance (Fair Grove), Ryan Jones (Fair Grove), Robert Jones (Fair Grove) and Derek Wilson (Jefferson City) placed second with only 99 points separating them from the first place team. In the junior division, The Missouri Tack Drivers, led by Tim Johnson, consisted of Tanner Johnson (Fair Grove), James-Michael Cook (Fair Grove), Colton Rader (Buffalo), Austin Witt (Bois'd Arc), and Reed Wiser (Jefferson City) took top honors as the first place team. Tanner Johnson also won the Junior Division Overall Champion and James-Michael Cook won the award for having the Highest Combined Responsibility Events score. Seiler Johnson from Fair Grove competed as an individual at the competition also.

These area youth will be advancing to the International Youth Hunter Education Challenge in Raton, New Mexico. This event takes place July 27^th through July 31^st .

If you would like to learn more about the Youth Hunter Education Challenge competition you can find this information on the web at http://www.moyhec.com/ , contact a Missouri Department of Conservation Outdoor Education Center near you, or a local hunter education instructor.

So much to do...

I'm on overload!!

With summer courses winding down, I am definitely ready for a breather. Actually, I'm just ready to get this International YHEC shoot over with and for life to regain some sort of semblence.

I was informed by my Nutrition teacher yesterday that I have the absolute worst diet he has ever seen. My diet has taken a backseat in the last 30 days. With school Monday through Thursday followed by practice every evening until at least 10pm, I have had no time to cook for myself or anyone else for that matter. The past two weeks have been spent trying to collect donations to help with registration and travel expenses. We are still short of our goal by about $500. I have this week and next left and very few places left on my list to go see. This has taken all my spare time. I haven't even got to study like I like to for my two classes. I'm making a B in Nutrition and I'm not happy with that. I like two points having an A and I know that with some effort I can make a last ditch effort and pull it out.

Today, I took Colton to school with me. Actually, Colton will be accompanying me for the final weeks of classes. He developed an attitude with his coach and he also sluffed a test off that he should have known by heart and I'm not happy with him. He gets to set in class or in the hallway and look up ALL the answers to the questions.

After class, we went back to Fair Grove and picked up James-Micheal and Tanner then came back to Springfield to shoot archery at Archery Quest. I am half tempted to take my bow and just go shoot by myself for a stress reliever. I have a new bow that I haven't shot more than a handful of times.

The boys wanted to go eat but I took them all back to Fair Grove. I didn't know if I wanted to feed three teenage boys. I figured they may have used all the spare cash that I had on me, though the temptation of Mexican Villa was definitely a strong one.

Off to do the laundry, some Chemistry and a Nutrition paper that I can't put off any longer.

I shall return to the blog world in a few weeks on a more frequent basis. I do enjoy reading everybodies posts in the wee hours of morning or late at night. Thank you Kristie for the beautiful YouTube video of the Baptism on Sunday. I miss all of you and Steve has said that after this shoot is over we will be coming back. I think that will help add some order in our lives.

Miss ya'll!!!

Whining

I sat in the floor and cried. I cried until there wasn't anymore tears left.

Colton used to have a hamster named Lil Bitty when he was about four. She wasn't named that because she was teeny tiny. She was named that because she was just that... a bitty.

Bitty had the same routine. Every night she would get up, go to her litter box (yes, she was potty trained), roam around inside her cage until we noticed her; then, I'd put her in her ball where she traveled aimlessly for an hour around the house. She would then bite me or at least try, as I put her back in her freshly cleaned home and she would eat, then go to sleep.

My life is a lot like Bitty's was. I get up, go to the bathroom, travel aimlessly for about an hour (drive to Springfield), then eat and go to bed. The only thing is, I have no one to clean my house. I have to do it. Lately, I haven't had time and this morning I'm just feeling was overwhelmed.

Steve left mad at me. Evidently, I'm a negative person. I'm also a smartass. He's fed up with all of it!!! I started to text him after he left and ask if that made me a negative smartass but I let it go.

Colton is sick. Heaven help any woman that ever marries this child. He is the most humongous baby when he is sick. I have to take his temperature at least every 15 minutes. And when he says the word, Mom. He sounds just like a baby calf. I have told him that at least 100 times in the last day. I keep asking where the baby calf I hear bellaring is.

On top of this, he is missing practice today. I figure I have a few families totally whizzed at me over that. Too bad.

Dad started cutting hay this morning. We're all hoping that we don't have any pop up showers. Colton is worried he won't be able to rake on Monday.

I'm beginning to think I should have taken the summer off.

Paden broke Mom's toe last week, on top of everything else. Broke it clean in half. He's such a little brute.

Somedays, I just feel like I'm only around for laundry, cleaning and cooking. Today is one of those. I think I know how the house slaves used to feel. I told Colton, I should just get a real good tan and an apron and he could ring a bell and could start answering all of them, "Yes, Master". Or maybe in Paden's case, "Yes, your Royal Highness".

Steve doesn't help. He sits around and watches television. Gripes about the house being a wreck. Gripes if I miss a couple questions on a test. Gripes if there isn't any money in the checking account.

Somehow, he has developed this thing that I shop all the time. I do seem to shop a lot lately. The thing is, I don't enjoy anything I have been shopping for. I guess maybe I should start shooting that muzzle loader, rifle, and shotgun. I guess I should be the one going to Colorado Elk hunting this fall. I guess I should be the one getting all the new hunting crap.

I'm ready to be through with school. I want to start having a paycheck where I can buy my own truck. One that I actually want. If I want to spend money on something, it'll be my money and I won't feel bad for spending it on me.

Me, well, I'll quit whining now. I have a load of laundry to fold and I think I may have built up a few tears that need to be shed.

Blue Plate Monday ~ Vegetable Salad Recipe

It's Monday and we all know that means Blue Plate Monday at (un)Deniably Domestic. Kelly has cooked up a beautiful cherry pie and it has the most gorgeous crust on it. Please follow her link and go check it out.

I have a couple friends that follow my blog that I sincerely wish would join us for Blue Plate Monday. I know that one in particular could produce recipes for some wonderful homecooking for the hectic lifestyle. By hectic I mean, farmers. Dairy farmers, to be precise. There are four lady dairy farmers from here in Buffalo. They are some wonderful, talented ladies and I am so honored to have them in my life, though I don't get to spend as much time as I would like visiting with them. I very much respect each of these wonderful ladies. Each has something that they are very good at and together they make the most awesome team and family.

Now, onto the story of my recipe...

I can remember my grandma making this every summer. In July we always had the Wing Family reunion that we went to, which was my Grandma's mothers side of the family. This salad was a popular dish and she would make up a super large bunch of it because she would never have leftovers and we liked it at home too.

Today, her sister makes this dish a lot and takes it to many church dinners and also to what is left of the Wing family reunion.

I was craving this salad this weekend. I barbequed for the boys on Saturday and made Grandma's Potato Salad, Vegetable Salad, Corn, and Baked Beans. We had fresh leaf lettuce and radishes from the garden to round out our meal. Yes, I know that sounds like tons of salads but it is the time of year that I keep a couple made up in the fridge. This always makes dinner so much easier if you are in rush too because you only have to worry about the meat to go with it.

I'm sorry that I can't post a picture of my salad. I still haven't picked up that camera battery. My Wal-Mart doesn't carry it and I forgot to stop in Springfield. I also refuse to buy another one at Radio Shack if it's not going to last longer than a couple weeks and a handful of uses.

Alice's Vegetable Salad

1 can Shoe Peg Corn (white)

1 can French Style Green Beans

1 can Peas and Carrots

1 cup celery, diced fine

1 small onion, diced fine

1/2 to 1 cup green pepper, diced fine

1/2 cup red pimento peppers

2/3 cup vinegar

1/3 cup oil

3/4 cup sugar

Mix vegetables together, then add oil, vinegar and sugar.

Refridgerate.

One other thing...

The Miley Cyrus song that plays...

Well, I was asked why I have Miley on my blog and the answer is this. It's not that I particularly care for her. It's the song itself. I couldn't stand it when I first heard it. Then I listened to the lyrics the next time I heard it. I'm not sure that it fits her to sing it, I think it should be an slightly older singer singing it but the lyrics are what I love. It really hit home and I have made it my theme song.

I fight that stupid voice inside my head telling me that I can't make it all the time and I just keep my head high and keep trudging on. My life most days feels like an uphill battle but I keep climbing and that's why this song is on here.

Hope that clarifies everything for the person that asked.

Two

Two weeks. Two weeks? When did that two weeks go into fast forward? I went through my second set of pre-semester jitters Friday. I went to campus for a little bit and came home a laid on the couch sick. I took some Excedrin and in a few hours I was better. Steve reminded me that I done this before Spring sememster also.

I look around and I have two, yes two room left to clean. Colton is on his own at this point but Paden and the living room definitely have got to have help. Colton sprung two laundry baskets of laundry from his room on me. Where did all that come from? I have done laundry almost daily for the last two weeks. Not over the top, throw the baby in the washing machine to stomp it down so you can get more in, laundry. Just regular loads. You know, daily towels from showers for one adult, one pre-teen, and one little person. And the little person tries to never wear anything but underwear so he usually don't dirty too much. He does like to change underwear almost everytime he goes but he's getting better. I let him do it. At least he has clean undies.

My kitchen is pretty sparkly and even after cooking a few meals I have kept it clean. I'm amazed!

I've decided to read two chapters in each of my two classes that I am taking this summer. I think that would be reasonable. I've never had summer courses so I don't know how many chapters we will actually cover during a class period but I'm sure I'm going to learn tomorrow.

Colton is at YHEC practice. He was going to practice two disciplines today. When I talked to Steve he was working on his compass and orienteering. He's pretty handy at it and if I was lost in the woods, I'd trust him to get us home with his compass.

We have approximately two weeks until his State YHEC contest. We practice two times a week with the group.

I have been farming today on FarmTown on Facebook. I got to upgrade my farm. This is my second upgrade in the last two days. I am hoping to upgrade again in two more days.

I have gotten back into contact with so many high school friends since joining Facebook but in the last two weeks I have really gotten to find a whole bunch and my friends list has more than doubled.

Well, I better go and clean my two rooms, so I can read my two chapters in each of my two books before my two wayward fellows return home.

Everybody check in tomorrow and see what I've cooked up for Blue Plate Monday with Kelly at (un)Deniably Domestic. I won't be creative with pictures because I am minus a camera battery. Mine went kaput. It's on my list of things I need to pick up at the store for Thursday.

See ya tomorrow!

RITZ Broccoli Casserole recipe at Kraftfoods.com

RITZ Broccoli Casserole recipe at Kraftfoods.com

Shared via AddThis

Just Rambling...

I have a lot of things I can talk about but none that is really important. I have been so busy this last two weeks but I feel as if I have accomplished nothing.

I started cleaning last week and so far I've only made it through two rooms. My kitchen is looking mighty Spic n Span. (pun) My bathroom is clean and tidy and so many things that needed tossed in medicine cabinets and makeup drawers are now gone. I found a new cleaning solution by Mr. Clean that I absolutely love and as soon as I get my camera battery tomorrow I will put a picture on here.

Paden's mess has been moved into the hallway and into the living room. Well, I should say most of it. I really thought I would get his room finished and I have got to by Sunday night. Somewhere between shooting practice on Saturday and shooting practice on Sunday I have to get that done.

Bandit is making himself right at home and has fit in with Shadow, Hank & Frank quite nicely. I take that back. He has fit in well with everyone but Hank. Hank, he's kind of an outlaw. He really doesn't like anybody. Yes, I have four dogs during the day. Mom or Dad will bring the Bassetts over and put them in my yard during the day because the lober heads are like any other Bassett and have a mind of their own and don't listen, so they get to spend the day in my yard cause it's bigger than their pen.

My desk needs a thorough cleaning. I have piles here. Piles there. I have acquired things that I'm really not sure where they came from. I'm keeping all my notebooks from my first semester. Two of the classes I take this fall build on two of the classes I took this spring and I figure I might refer back to these notes.

I have discovered Facebook. I have had such a joyous time hooking back up with my high school classmates. Most of us still live around here but we never run into each other. I have became a FarmTown addict on Facebook, too. My brain is going to turn to mush if I play it much more.

Steve is out of town until sometime Sunday, most likely late Sunday evening.

Now, the news is talking about hugging being a problem in schools. What is the deal? Why can people not hug? This is stupid. Do we not, as a nation, have other things to focus our attentions on? Is hugging so wrong? Why don't the schools focus their attention on providing an above average education to the students and not worry about who's hugging who in the hallway? Is the issue at hand, someones going to feel they are not getting the appropriate amount of hugs?

Tomorrow, I have seven stops to make in Springfield. I'm going to work on whittling those all down. I have five I must make. The bike shop and going by Cox may have to wait. That's all on the south side of Springfield and otherwise I just need center city or eastern Springfield.

I also need to read at least a couple chapters in each of my classes so that I will be prepared for Monday. I may do that later tonight. I watched Marley and Me last night. It wasn't as good as the book, but what movie is? I started crying about 30 minutes before the dog ever died because I knew what was coming. I went to bed all red, puffy eyed, and sniffling. I woke up with a stopped up nose because of it but it went away soon after waking up.

I need to help find six more people to make up a Hunter's Ed class for this weekend. Anybody that's interested let me know. Remember your child must be 11 years old. It will be in Fair Grove if we can find enough people.

Now, that wraps up my hectic life. How is everybody in blog land?

Blue Plate Monday-Shepherd's Pie

Good Memorial Day Monday!!!

I was happy to see Kelly over at (un)DeniablyDomestic posted her Blue Plate Monday special last night. Come on and join us as we dig in the recipe boxes and find some scrumptiouly good meals to serve to your loved ones that we serve to ours.

Here's how my day went:

I went to Bass Pro today and fought all the tourists to find Colton some stuff he needed for YHEC and a new pair of hiking boots because his foot is growing so fast.

We stopped in Fair Grove on the way home and Steve got a new dog. He's a Blue Heeler named Bandit. He was a pup out of one of our friends dogs' and they had not been able to give him away so Steve decided he needed him. He seems to be pretty laid back and has slept all afternoon since he had a bath in my bedroom floor by Steve's side of the bed. I'll post pictures later but if anybody would like a little female they have one left.

So, anyway after spending way over the alotted amount at Bass Pro, Steve has to take leftovers for a couple days until payday. So, I was going to make Alabama French Toast for dinner but that changed. Instead, I made a Shepherd's Pie.

Colton, really enjoyed this and it should be relatively easy to pack and reheat for lunch tomorrow for Steve. I like making dishes like this because everything is almost all in one bowl. You just have to serve with a salad and dessert and you're finished.

I have made Shepherd's Pies before and basically I just made this one up as I went. So here it goes.

Gina's Shepherds Pie

2#'s Ground Beef

1 onion, chopped

Salt and Pepper, to taste

1 can each

Green Beans

Peas

Carrots

Corn

1 box Garlic Roasted Mashed Potatoes

1) You brown the hamburger and onions. And you fix the potatoes, at the same time in another pan.

2) Then, I greased a 9 x 13, casserole dish. I put the ground beef and onion mixture on the bottom of the casserole dish.

3) Then, I layered the canned vegetables.

3) I placed, the mashed potatoes on top and placed it in the oven at 350 degrees.

4) I cooked this until it was bubbly and the potatoes were starting to brown. If you want browner peaks you can broil for the last couple of minutes but I have a gas oven and I hate to use the broiler.

5) Yell, Dinner's Ready!!! Watch the troops head for the kitchen.

Blogs...

This morning I was going to get started cleaning Paden's bedroom, since I don't have either child here. Instead, I sat down at my desk and began following blogs. I started out with a friends daughter's blog. She is so excited that FINALLY they have a house. It's a long, complicated story and one that I am so glad has started it's final chapter. Soon, this group of lovely, hard working, God fearing women will be in their home after such a long drawn out, up hill battle. From there, I followed a link to another blog. Maybe some of you don't know this but I love to embroider quilt blocks. I also like cross stitch. Time for that has been short and almost non existent since begining my hectic life in January. But, I still love it and will pick it up when I get time. It's a medicine for me. So, I found this awesome quilting blog, then another, then another. The thing that I found so funny is that each blog that I clicked, I discovered they were nurses or healthcare workers. Deja vu'. Then, I also discovered that many were from Texas. My dream state. I always wanted to go to Texas and live. I will someday, too. My two best friends live in Texas.

So, I followed the blogs, and I ended up in Texas. It's amazing the people that you can meet here. It's even more amazing the talent that these people have. I've checked my blog daily to see what new, exciting things everybody was doing. I haven't took the time to post but I do stop by.

This morning, I woke up in a mood. Not a real good mood, mind you. I made some decisions this morning. I will blog more, I will comment more, I will make time for the little things more, I will keep my house clean. Okay, so maybe the last one might not happen. I keep thinking, in two years, I can hire a maid. (lol) Probably not, but in two years hopefully (everybody cross their finger) I will be living in something that has a foundation under it and is a lot larger and maybe, just maybe it will be in the great state of Texas.

Anxiously waiting

It's really windy out this morning. The sun's beginning to peak it's sleepy head over the eastern horizon. The boys' Bassett Hounds are barking, the birds are chirping and the cars on 65 Highway are zooming South starting the morning commute.

Me? Well, I'm sitting here typing. My stomach is sort of tied in knots. Today's my first two finals. I have never had a final before in my life. I'm kind of scared and really anxious. I'm waiting patiently to hear from the Junior High English teacher from Buffalo to see if she liked my English final. I already have it printed out and loaded in my notebook. My desk is askew with textbooks. Textbooks that won't be making the journey with me today. That seems odd. I'm not packing my backpack today either, which will seem even more odd. All that is making the trip today is me, my calculator and a couple of pencils and a pen. Oh yeah, and my English Final. Ms. A might give me a look if I was to forget it.

See ya in the funny papers!

My Journey...

I passed Human anatomy yesterday!!! (With an "A"!) I now only have two finals that I have to study for because the English final is laying on my desk waiting for it's final stamp of approval before being handed in tomorrow. I have an "A" in Psychology and I plan on it staying that way. That's the only one that I have to study EXTREMELY hard for. Algebra I have studied most of the weekend for and I feel pretty comfortable with it, I will probably review a little bit this afternoon though because my final in it is tomorrow. I also have an "A" in it.

So, I have "A's" across the board. These little houselike letters were not easy to come by. Like building a house, these little fellows are a lot of work, sweat and a few tears. And now that this first semester is almost complete, it's like I'm standing back and looking at the foundation that has just been completed.

I was never a straight "A" student in school but I never applied myself like I do now. I have three finals left and the semester is done. In a way, it's kind of bittersweet. I'm not that scared, woman walking into the unknown now. I'm more confident. I know that I can acheive straight A's and I also know that even if I butcher one test along the way it isn't the end of the world. I also know that you study everything, not just what you went over in class.

This summer semester is going to be some framework. I have a chemistry class and a nutrition class. Yes, I know I'm crazy for putting a chemistry class on my summer schedule. I know that I need to get from point A to point B, as quick as possible, but I also know that if you cut corners your house will fall down.

I have also made the decision to stay at OTC for my ASN in Nursing. I went to St. John's and met with them and even though I would like to go over there, I don't particularly care for the late night classes. Something about starting class at 7am for clinicals and ending at 10:30pm in a lecture setting gives me chills. I would never make it home!! I'd have to nap in the parking lot!

I had mapped a pathway when I started OTC, now I'm moving the brush and finding there's a road hidden where I thought there was only a path. It's two years to an ASN, it doesn't matter which way I go. I'm going the path I started down to begin with. Then, I'll cross the BSN bridge when I get there. (There's a pun there, by the way.)

I've climbed my first hill, I got started. Now, I'm sure there will be some more peaks and valleys along the way but the boys got me new boots for Mother's Day and I've got lots of tread and traction. Bring it on life. Here I come!!!

Welcome Baby Aubree

Introducing Miracle Baby #2... Aubree Marie Carter

Ms. Aubree arrived today @ 2:44 pm. She was a whopping 6 lbs and 11 ounces and was 18 1/2" long.

You may wonder why I called her Miracle Baby. Well, she was born to two absolutely adoring parents that were told they would never have children. Her mother had internal "plumbing" issues and her very, proud Daddy was injured by schrapnel in an explosion while in Iraq. I'm sure big brother Shawn Andrew is glad she's here, too.

This is Steve's great neice, by the way. But since I don't have any sweet, little girls to lavish in Barbie's and baby dolls, I have already informed Mom and Daddy to watch out!!!

Just venting...

Sometimes you encounter people in your life that are just plain irritating. I know that I should just learn to let it go and turn the other cheek but these people just worm theirselves under your skin.

People that drive in the left lane, for instance. The left lane is the "fast" lane or the passing lane. If you are going to go 55 mph on 65 mph highway, DO NOT drive in the left lane.

People that have always been through the same thing that you are going through but it's always 10 times worse. That just blows my mind. These people have evidently had an extremely tiring life.

People that like to throw stones but when the stone is thrown back, they are the victim.

People that have an opinion about everything, even when it's not wanted.

People that have to copy everything you do. I can't stand people that do not have an original thought. (That is one reason I will not live inside the city limits of a small town again.)

People that have to have something wrong with them. You know, whatever happened to just having a headache? Or a stomach ache? Or just being tired? Why do people now have to believe that their is an underlying health issue and remain adamant about it if medical tests prove otherwise?

Why is it that when people suffer a devastating loss due to storms, like an entire house or a school, others have to demean this by loosing a tree in their front yard or a plant from their garden? I'm sure that anyone of those people would be glad to have their home back and give the plant instead.

People who don't study but expect an A. That's annoying. It kills me to walk out of class and hear people going on about how they flunked a test but yet they never cracked the book or paid attention or showed up in class. If you don't work for it, it's not going to be handed to you. HELLO?

I'm sure I could go on forever and rant and rave but I won't. I feel better now. Thanks, for letting me vent.

Blue Plate Monday - Mountain Food

It's Blue Plate Monday

Over at (un)Deniably Domestic, Ms. Kelly is cooking up something good I'm sure. She has a few of us dedicated "Blue Platers" that love to share recipes and we would love it if you would come join in. So follow her plate and come on over. She gave away a beautiful handmade scrap basket apron last week in her Blue Plate Drawing. So let's see what she has special cooked up to giveaway now. Though just joining in this weekly fellowship of recipe exchanging is worth it to me.

My grandma raised six kids and me. We lived on a farm 6 miles east of Buffalo. Grandma still lives at the farm along with one of my uncles. My mom goes out daily to take care of her.

Saturday, I made Kelly's Biscuit Doughnuts for the boys. Colton, Paden and Steve have decided that it is a must keep recipe. So Sunday when Colton went to Grandma's with my mom he had to tell them all about my doughnuts that I made.

When I got out there later, we got to talking about recipes and things that were easy to make. See, I remember growing up Grandma always had a sit down dinner every night. We always had meat of some sort, vegetables, bread and some sort of desert, too. In the summer, we had stuff from the garden and lots of wilted lettuce.

The recipe that I'm sharing today is one of Grandma's. Now understand, it's like everything else of hers. She just whipped it up. It's not really measured and needless to say. That's how I fixed it, too.

My uncles named this recipe, "Mountain Food". Even though this is Grandma's recipe Grandpa would make it when they went hunting out in Colorado in a big Dutch oven over open fire. It's really easy and the boys loved it.

Make a Smilebox recipe

Storms hit Southwest Missouri - again

Yesterday morning started warm, too warm. I turned on the telly switching back and forth between 3 and 10. A wall of red was north of me and a wall of red was entering Missouri from Kansas to the south. I knew if I left, right then, I could get to campus before the storm hit. Once on the road, I made a brief pit stop at McD's for my mocha and a bacon, egg and cheese McGriddle. The traffic was a pain leaving Buffalo. Everybody was sight seeing the clouds that were rolling in from the west. Every five minutes, I said, "Please, just let me get to campus. Just hold out til I get on the lot. And please take care of my boys." I hit a few LARGE drops of rain between Fair Grove and Diamond K. It sounded almost like hail hitting the windows. The drops were brief. Almost, as if, taunting me. Once again, I would repeat my previous chant. At Fair Grove, I hauled butt to Springfield. I know that on a good day, I can make it from Fair Grove to Springfield between 10 and 15 minutes. I made sure, even with the increasing wind speed, that it was a good day. I was in the left hand running my usual speed. I slipped past a lot of traffic and once in Springfield, slid into the right lane and up the ramp at Division. I got through town fairly quickly and to the OTC campus. I started to park in my usual spot under a tree on the south side of the lot. I changed my mind as I looked at the tree which had been split earlier, most likely by the ice storm. The sky was the most eery green. Somebody on the radio compared it to pea soup and I agreed with them. I remember reading a few days earlier that the color of a green sky most likely meant tornadoes or at the very least, severe storms. I changed parking spots and proceeded towards the door. As I got halfway across the parking lot, the storm sirens in Springfield started blaring. I continued inside. I went to my normal spot and sat down. In a few minutes everybody was evacuated to the hallway where I was. I texted Steve to keep him apprised of what was going on. From my spot, where I sat rooted, I could see the trees outside whip and dance; touching the ground at times. I felt most of the younger kids around me were really not taking this seriously. Some even tried to leave. Later, I heard one say, "That was the longest tornado drill I have ever been through."


So, once we were released and back in class, I heard about Fair Grove. I immediately started texting Marilyn and Terri checking on some of Colton's YHEC teammates. Little did I know that Colton, himself, was in the path of the tornado. As I went through my day, Colton was experiencing being caught, away from Mema, by himself, in the storm.

When I got home, Mom told me about the excitement they had at Nanny's earlier in the day. At my house, we were lucky and didn't experience the really bad weather; just downpours, flooding and some wind. Dad kept Paden calm. So calm in fact, he slept through the worst of it.

BUT...Colton, well he had a little more excitement than that. My uncle, as some know used to have a small engine shop. Well, Colton goes down to the shop usually when he goes out to Grandma's with mom and he piddles and tinkers down there. You know, boy stuff? Well he had came to the house and checked in and decided to go back. It was raining but not real hard...yet. He made it back to the shop and then all hell broke loose. It started pouring. Mom said at first it was from the east. She knows this because she had to go shut the glass on Grandma's screen door. Then just as quick as it came from the east it switched to the the south. Mom could not see across the parking lot to the shop. Colton couldn't see Mom's car parked about 15 feet away from him. He watched the rain for awhile, then we he watched it spin in what he calls a mini tornado on the parking lot he backed away from the door.

Around that time a car appeared at the front door of the shop. Colton peeked outside and let a woman in. Her car had apparently been blown into the ditch. She shoved it in reverse and backed out of the ditch. Barry's driveway was the first that she seen and she actually thought it was a highway (because it's paved). She asked Colton if he was alone and he told her, "No, Redly is here with me." Red is my Uncle Terry's Redtick Coon Hound. He has been Colton's protector since Colton was a baby. Red used to walk across the field daily to check on Colton when he played in the backyard when we lived out that way. Red is now really old, about 15. He has been hit twice by cars, that we know of. He limps...a lot. He can't see out of one eye. He's basically deaf. But he still thinks he can protect Colton. Well, anyway, I guess it proceeded to be pretty bad. They tried to figure out where they could hide. The decided on the hallway and found a piece of plywood to put over the top of them. When the rain and wind let up, they made a dash for her car and drove to the front gate. Mom and Grandma said they were both scared to death when they got to the house.

Being a mom I said, "Colton, you got in a car with a perfect stranger." Calmly he looked at me and said, "Mom, we'd been through a tornado together. I figured it would be alright." He also assured me she wasn't a "perfect" stranger because she lived down the street from his uncle that drives a gray pickup. She was Bonnie Strickland's neice and she was related to Uncle Ray. That made her family in his eyes. Besides that, she had a 13 year old, an eight year old and a four year old.

After watching the news last night, I realized how close both of us had came. If I hadn't have left when I did, I would have been caught in it in Springfield. Or, if I had decided to skip my English class because it was optional yesterday, I would have been right in the middle of it at Fair Grove. Either way, God was looking out for all of us yesterday.

Blue Plate Monday-Come Join the Fun

Ms. Kelly is still serving up wonderously good dishes over at the (un)deniablydomestic site. She's also having a little giveaway to boot. So come join us in our fun search of easy, breezy recipes that we love to share.

So here is my recipe for the week. I sure do hope you like it because my boys (ALL of them) did. I received this recipe a couple weeks ago and when I made it last Tuesday the boys cleaned it all up. I didn't have so much as a smidge in the dish. I served this with a loaf of garlic and cheese bread and a salad. It's easy, quick and most of all...YUMMY!!

Lasagna Rollups

Ingredients:

Sauce~

1 lb ground beef

1 lb Italian sausage

1 small onion (chopped fine)

2 garlic cloves (minced)

1 jar spaghetti sauce

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp Italian seasoning

Filling~

1 carton cottage cheese

1 pkg Kraft Shredded Italian Four Cheese Mixture (reserve some to sprinkle on top)

1 egg (slightly beaten)

1 tbsp fresh parsley

1/4 tsp onion powder

6 lasagna noodles (cooked)

Cooking Instructions:

In a large skillet cook beef, sausage, onion and garlic until the beef and sausage are no longer pink. Drain any excess fat from the pan. Add the spaghetti sauce, Italian seasoning, and salt. Simmer for 10 minutes. Spread half of the meat sauce on the bottom of a greased 9" baking dish.

In a bowl, combine cottage cheese, mixed cheese, egg, parsley and onion powder. Spread mixture evenly over each lasagna noodle.

Roll up and place seam side down in rows in the baking dish. Top with remaining sauce.

Bake at 375 degrees for 30-35 minutes. About 5 minutes before the dish is finished cooking remove from the oven and top with the remainder of the cheese. Return to oven and cook until the cheese has melted.

Free write

When I was dating Steve he wanted to take me on a trip to North Carolina. So, I went. We went to Ashville to the Biltmore Estate that was built by George Vanderbilt. On the Estate they have turned what was once the dairy barn into a winery. They had free wine tasting if you bought this $20.00 wineglass and of course Steve had to sample every wine in the winery. As we were walking past this outdoor area that the kids were in we saw a barrell that you could stomp grapes in and then have your footprints made. My silly boyfriend had to jump right in line and have it done. This started a new thing for the adults. When he was done having his footprints made the line was full of adults and all the kids were looking at them like they had gone mad.
We drove around the Blue Ridge Parkway. In one spot you can pull off and walk up this trail to a little church that sets way up on the top of the mountain. All you can see from the roadway is the cross that is on top of the steeple. Steve wanted to hike up the mountain the four miles to see it. As we got on the trail he was walking faster than I was as I was enjoying the nature and looking for bears that I knew would be around to eat me when a little snake went skating across my foot. Steve has reenacted my reaction for many a listener to this day. He does this little dance and yells….SNAKE as he dances around crazily. He swears that was the reaction I had but I’m sure it was more of fleeing reaction as I remember reaching the car way before he ever did. He thinks it was my imagination too because he never found a snake. I personally think it was a python that somebody had turned loose because it probably had gotten to big for its cage.

Where I'd Rather be...

Right now I would rather be seven years in the future. School would be behind me and I would starting my day in the beautiful state of Colorado. At this hour of the morning I would be starting for work to make rounds at the hospital for a awesome cardiologist. The view on the drive to work would be serene. You would be able to see the snow glistening as the first rays of sun peaks over the tops of the Rockies. It would look like a painter had taken a paintbrush and lightly added some oranges and reds to the soft white.
As I cruised down the road I would be able to see the sheepherders watching the sheep in the low country. In a few weeks they would be getting ready to start their trek up the mountain with their herd. I would see elk and mule deer grazing in the meadows and stealing hay from the cattle on some of the ranches. The fields would not yet be green but you would be able to see hints of green mixed with the old yellowed grass from last year.
A big bull elk that would get every hunters blood pumping raises his head as I go by. From his mouth hangs a clump of hay. The red white faced cattle seem to ignore the intruders as if they were meant to be there. Up the road, the road curves around the jutting rocks at the base of the mountain. Thick, clear icicles blinking as you go by.
The river that runs along the southern side of the road seems to be flowing backwards as it runs past the many rocks in the creekbed. You can see the trout leaping out as if saying, “good morning.”
The radio is turned low to a country station. The melody of a new country artist crooning to her listeners. The hum of the V8 engine as it climbs from the valley up the mountian. You can hear the transmission lightly shifting as it begins to pull the long hill in front of us.
Even though the temperature is in the 30’s outside, I have to crack the window. I love to smell the pines along the winding stretch of road. The smell of nature. Even the creek beside the road seems to be wafting with aroma. Not fishy, just fresh. The vanillaroma air freshner hanging from the rearview mirror is amplified by the cold, brisk air flowing into the Expedition. It still has a new car scent to it that on warm days when it’s been sitting in the sun you can smell. The cup of coffee in the cup holder wafts through the vehicle.
The steering wheel is firm but smooth under my fingers. The leather seats with seat warmers feel like melted butter and envelope me as I drive. The scratch of the new sweater I put on this morning is rough against my skin. As I drive along, I take a drink of the coffee that I made before I left. It’s smooth and bold as it slides along my tongue and down my throat. You can taste a hint of chocolate and a touch of whipped cream where I added it to my cup. As I finish the coffee, I reach for my wintergreen Eclipse gum. The taste overcoming the coffee and burning my nostrils because the wintergreen is so strong.

The effects of being a chocolate

Hershey chocolate which contains flavanol rich cocoa has been found to be rich in antioxidants and oleic acids that provide a heart healthy alternative to Smarties Candies.

Flavanol, which is used in Hershey’s Cocoa, has an aspirin like effect on platelets in the blood. This reduces the amount of clotting. This would help with any internal clotting and reduce a person’s risk of stroke or heart attack. The flavanol also reduces both the systolic and diastolic blood pressures.
Oleic acid, which is also found in the cocoa, helps to lower bad cholesterol.
Antioxidants found in the Hershey milk chocolate also keep chemicals from destroying cells and DNA.

Using senses to describe

Papers were laying all askew on top and around the big brown desk. A brown stain formed a circle were he had spilled his coffee earlier. A couple books that he was studying from were thrown haphazardly here and there amid the papers. From the edge of a book you could see the tip of a pen peeking out as if saying, “Here I am.”

The frost on the windows was a definite indicator of what was out there. As I looked across the pasture towards the woods, I could see the cattle slowing coming down the hill and with each step they took their breath hung heavily in the air. The pond had a steam rising from it that was as thick as fog. The dog was amusing himself by jumping here in there in the tall snowbanks, rooting in the snow then bounding off again.

As she walked, with each step you could see it building within her and before you knew it she would be like dynamite. Her face was beet red. Her eyes were drawn and tight. How dare anyone tell her she couldn’t do something. Well, she’d show them. As she walked down the sidewalk people that seen her seemed to just part and move out of her way. Her body language and her facial expression was all they needed to convince them not to say anything to her today. The people that knew her best didn’t want to feel the wrath of her sharp tongue and they knew that the least little thing might set her off.

As it streaked downthe track I had to do a double take. Was that my sixteen year old that I had just seen go past me? It looked like a blue blur but yet that horse on the grille was branded like a hot iron in my mind. Yes, he had inherited his mothers heavy foot. I can only imagine how the speed had him pushed back into the seat. The sound caught up with the car seconds after it had already passed.

As she paced the room with her ruler you could hear her smacking students on the back of the hand. Poor little Sally, she couldn’t help it if she was left handed. She was the talk of the students. Nobody ever wanted in her class. Kids would cry and parents would beg with the principal to put there kids in another classroom. Her class almost never got to have recess and if they did half of the class had to stand against the wall for at least fifteen minutes before they could play. If the kids made a peep walking down the hall or were the slightest bit out of line. The whole class was punished and recess time was spent practicing staying in line.

Public School

My experience with public school greatly differed from the education that Sedgewick Bell received. I don’t recall ever studying Roman History. From the movie the teacher, Mr. Hundert, cared about the education of the pupils. He took the time to get to know each individual and he called them by name. I feel that I didn’t have any teachers that were so impassioned about their career as Mr. Hundert was. I do feel that I had teachers, as Mr. Hundert, that picked a favorite. Someone that they wanted to exceed and do well and that they gave special attention to that student. I would loved to have had an education like those kids had. In public school most times you are passed over. You must reach a set of goals supplied by the state and most teachers only strive to meet those goals. They do not try to surpass them as in a public teacher’s word, “They do not have the time.” I have seen far to many students leave the public school that could not read at level, count back change properly or numerous other little things that each will use in everyday life. The public school system is failing our children.

Significant Event

I think the most significant event in my life was losing my grandpa when I was 16. At that point, I took on a more grown up air. It felt as if my childhood had been stolen from me. Sixteen is when you are supposed to be starting to date, learning to drive, not dealing with death. My whole life changed the year I turned 16. Two weeks after I turned 16, my mom got married. Three weeks after I turned 16 that’s when my grandpa died.I didn’t know how to cope with my feelings. I pushed people away that I had been close to. I never really turned rebellious until I was 18 but up until that point things just built and built and then like a volcano that was under pressure it all came spewing forth. They say you go through stages to cope with death and I think I was stuck somewhere in a stage for a while. I was probably in my 20’s before I actually dealt with my feelings. I can remember going to my grandpa’s grave and crying for what seemed like hours

In class writing

I can’t believe I’m in college. My first day went not so smoothly. We airlifted my dad to Cox South hospital where he had to have a pacemaker put in. I couldn’t find any parking. I was three minutes late to my first class which happens to be English. Today I lost the wheel off my backpack…stupid thing. I have 32 pounds of books to carry. I seem to be settling in but every morning that I do have class I wake in awe and have to pinch myself. I still just can’t believe I’m here.

I love to read. I read many different things. I’m getting ready to read Marley and Me. I haven’t seen the movie yet but I think the book will probably be so much better. I like to read mystery novels and I like to read the occasional romantic novel too. I think my favorite romance novel writer would have to be Danielle Steele. Reading is kind of like writing. You can become absorbed in what you’re reading about and just go to different places in your mind. It is such a good way to get away for a few minutes or to just take some time for yourself. You can put yourself into the book and pretend you’re one of the characters. I had my son read a chapter one time and then he had to act it out.

MyI have a fear of snakes. I hate snakes. Snakes are so scary. They are a sign of the devil and they are just scary looking. I once left a mountain in North Carolina beacuseI seen a snake and my hausband thought it was so funny. We are going to Raton, New Mexico in July and I am so afraid of seeing a rattlesnake. I even told my husband that I was going to buy 4 pairs of snake boots one for each of us. I just know that I ‘m going to have dreams of seeing one of those stupid snakes once we get there. Sankes are just menacing to me. I hate going into the Snake House at the zoo and that is my oldest sons favorite place to go. Sometimes I just want to choke him when we go to the zoo because if they have a sanake out he always wants to touvh it. And He always is like Oh come on Mom it’ll be oaky. Just touch it. They brought a sanake to his kinderarten class one day and I left the room when the snake got there. All those kindergartners laughted at me. I went and set in the hallway. I had a baby copperhead crawl across the toe of my sandals a few summers ago. That was not funny. I was crazy with fear then. I was jumping a wround and screaming. It was not a pretty sight. IreI remember one time how my uncle caught a cottonmouth on his fishing line. Talk about scary. He didn’t know it was a snake until he got it almost to the boat. Then he had to cut the line to get it off. That’s fear. Sankes. Fear. Yep they are interchangeable.

Homeschooling

I began homeschooling Colton when he was in kindergarten. Actually, he was about through with kindergarten. He has been home this entire time and the whole thought of going back totally sent him into a tail spin. Lately, he has been thinking about going back if he can go to Fair Grove. He has struck up quite the friendship with the kids from his 4-H group and he has decided he would like to go to school with them. I think Fair Grove would be an appropriate school to put him in and so does Steve. We just are not ready to make that move quite yet. I have thought about putting Colton back into the Dallas County school system but my gut gets knots and I push the thought away.

We have had quite the journey homeschooling. I have learned probably as much as he has. Things that I don't remember learning in school, I have gotten refreshed on. Things that Colton wanted to learn more about, we have thrown ourselves into whole heartedly and learned.

I used to think that he wasn't missing out on anything by not being in school. I still feel that way about some things. I don't think any child should ever have to go through the whole clique thing. Especially, if you are the child on the outside. But I do think he is missing out on having to make a deadline, being held accountable for not turning something in on time and things that being a mom you just overlook.

I think he is getting to the point that he is missing having friends. He stays active in 4-H and YHEC and he gets to see his friends but I think he would like to see them more on a day to day basis.

As a family, we have some major decisions to make concerning the rest of Colton's schooling. I don't regret any of the time he has been at home. He has learned. He has exceled. Now he has to learn to use what we have taught him.

Breeding clothes in Dallas County

Why are boys such a mess? Is it just boys? Or is it an age thing?

Colton has just graced me with a load of laundry that looks like it could walk to the washing machine and crawl in itself. "Where did you find this?", I asked. "Oh, it was under my bed and I found some pushed under my towel rack in the bathroom. I don't know how it got there."

I arch one eyebrow, and I know that the furrows across my forehead must resemble that of a newly plowed field. The thought running through my head rushes forth but my lips don't seem to be able to form the words. I roll my eyes and walk away. That would probably be for the best, I decide.

I now have washed Paden's clothes from yesterday plus his mud wear from today approximately three times. Bleach has yet to remove the clay mud stains.

As I pull in the driveway this afternoon, Colton is swinging. On his upper torso is a white mud stained shirt. Upon closer inspection, I find out it is MY white now mud stained shirt. I asked him why he was wearing my t-shirt and he replies his dad had gave it to him in the laundry he did while I was away for the weekend. I look at him and ask, "And you couldn't tell it didn't fit and was way too big?" But let me rewind. I had stopped at the Breakfast Nook on my way to Springfield today and Steve is wearing my CoxHealth long sleeve polo shirt. Only now it is stained with mud and some other substance that I don't see Shout getting out. Two shirts in one day and I wasn't even the one to ruin them.

As I walk in the back door, I notice my laundry pile has grown more. I'm telling you, I am breeding laundry in Dallas County.

Journal Reflection

When I was told that we had to keep a journal I thought, "Great, I hate writing about my daily life because I never do anything exciting." Then, I jumped into it with both feet and actually started a little before our March 2 start date. Since that time, I have journaled feelings, happenings and recipes. I feel excited when somebody becomes a follower and I relish knowing that maybe I can brighten someones day.

I think I have changed as a writer over the course of the last few weeks because I no longer feel that I have to write. I now want to write, except on Mondays. Don't ask me why but Monday's are just horrid writing days for me. Yesterday was an exception to that but how could I not write about that cute, muddy, little boy.

I know that I didn't journal seven days a week but sometimes my days are so cluttered and by the time I sit down that I could journal I am so exhausted and my brain just shuts down. I learned that sometimes I should get up in the middle of the night when that inspiration hits because I think I could do some of my most powerful work at that time.

Blogging has become a part of my daily life. I look forward to coming home and reading the other students blogs (yes, I'm a lurker). I laugh when my husband says, "We're going to make the blog again, aren't we?" I think Steve has gotten as much enjoyment from this as I have.

Thanks, Ms. A. I just want you to know that I will continue blogging even after this last English 101 blog. You've opened a door of communication for me that will last long after the lights go out on our classtime together.

Blue Plate Monday ~ Gina's Broccoli Pasta Salad

My awesome English teacher over at deniablydomestic.blogspot.com is now in her third week of Blue Plate Mondays. She is giving away the cutest little Scrap Basket Apron that has lots of meaning to her and she is willing to share that with the lucky winner. Come on and join the fun!

I went to the SuperCenter a few summers ago to get groceries. While standing over by the deli, I seen this beautiful salad in the case. The wanted an outrageous price for it so I bought a the smallest container they had then proceeded to pick it apart to figure out what was in it.

I made my own version, totally from scratch, and it turned out much better than theirs. I took this to a church function and everybody wanted the recipe. Anytime my mother in law comes over for a barbeque or we go down to her house for a family dinner this is the recipe that she always requests I bring. I don't have any pictures of it but it does turn out very pretty.

1# Vegetable macaroni, cooked and drained

1 Green Bell Pepper, diced

1 Red Onion, chopped

Carrots, shredded (however many you feel like using)

1 head cauliflour, chopped

1 bunch broccoli, chopped

1# cheddar cheese, shredded

Dressing:

1 cup sugar

1 cup vinegar

2 cups Miracle Whip

1 cup Eagle Brand Milk

1/2 tsp pepper

salt, to taste

I like to put the dressing on and let it set for at least a few hours but overnight is better.

Hope you enjoy.

Little Boys & Mud

I have to laugh every time I see one of those moms that can't stand it if her child gets dirty. You know, the one that has a bib around her childs neck constantly because she don't want the little buggers to drool on themselves. Both my boys have had ample dirt time and I must say that many an outfit has met it's match with drool.

Today when I came home Paden wanted to know if he could play in the mud. He tried to explain to me that daddy had told him that he couldn't play in the mud but I scoffed at that idea. I walked him home from Mema's house, changed his clothes, put his rubber boots on and told him to go have fun. I explained, as best I could to a four year old, that he had approximately one hour to play then he had to come in and we had to get him cleaned up before daddy got home from work. Thirty minutes later this is what appeared on my front porch. Not quite what I bargained for but one look at that smile and those little blue eyes and I stripped him down and brought him in and put him in the tub. I also had to pour the water out of his rubber boots. His clothes, well, they are still soaking in the washing machine. I'm sure with the bleach that I added and after a couple washes they will be fine. If not, well, C'est la vie.

Having a couple of boys has been a blast. I grew up around boys. Five, to be exact. I'm not sure I would have been able to handle a little girl if she would have been all frills and curls. I think that's why I was blessed with two little boys. The first was not a dare devil. The second will try anything. I learned today that when he tells you he's going to wallow like a pig in the mud, well, he means it. He also made a slip-n-slide out of a mud hole and loved it.

So, if you all were wondering what to do with the rain, go make some mud pies. Have fun. Enjoy life and laugh.

It's a rainy, Monday. I wanted to stay in bed cuddled up in my corner, hugging my pillow. I can't. I have to be ready to register in a few minutes for summer and fall semesters. I have changed my schedule almost 10 times now. I made last minute changes a few minutes ago and I'm ready to hit the register button in approximately 10 minutes. I'm ready for class at 9. I'm hoping the Ms. Anthony has some time to spend with me on my essay revision today. I'm not sure I did as good on this essay as I did my first. I have never had to use parenthetical citations before and needless to say I did not use them correctly (or at all) in this essay. In three weeks, I get a short two week break and I'm looking forward to it. Steve told me our house looks like a train wreck. I'm not having much luck getting him to help me keep it clean though after I clean it. I spent our spring break cleaning. I'm going to spend my intercession between spring and summer classes cleaning, too. It's a never ending process. We need more space for one. It's hard to pack a 2000 square foot house into 1200 foot of space. I have a storage shed that is packed full and it seems to acquire more and more over time. It has no semblence of order, either. Sometimes I feel that my house is like my life. I have no order.

The end of semester is drawing near

My first semester has flown past. It seemed like just yesterday that I was circling the parking lot with tears streaming down my face, scared to death because I was going to be late for my first class. Not just the first class of the day, my first class of my college career.

Since that day, I have rediscovered that I was a good student. I was a good student until my Grandpa passed away is what I should say. The last 2 1/2 years of high school was a struggle after that and my grades suffered. Now, I'm back with a vengeance. I study. I study more. I study harder. I study everything not just what is supposed to be on the test. I feel that if I'm going to do this, I'm going to go all the way. I feel that if I'm going to succeed at the career path I've decided on, halfway is not an option.

I keep telling myself, I'm going to be a Physician Assistant. If I wasnt' 36 years old, I'd go all the way. I wouldn't stop at PA. I keep thinking maybe I should be a Nurse Practitioner. I want to work in a rural area and help the people. I want to see house-calls rebound. I want to see the face of a new mother. I want to make that grouchy old man that never smiles, smile. I want to hand out Tootsie Pops to my little patients and maybe the ones that are kids at heart, too. I want to be the PA or NP that sits on the bed with their patients hand in theirs and tells them, "We're going to beat this."

I'm not going into this field for the money, though that is a plus. I'm going into this field because I seen the need for nurses that take the time to know their patients. I seen the need for nurses that are compassionate and caring. I may be only one person but all it takes is one person to make a difference.

So, as the end of the semester draws near, finals are peaking around the corner. Summer is upon us. I'm eighteen blogs short so I will be blogging like crazy this weekend. I'm gearing up for an Anatomy Lab Practical. I'm squaring up for the English final. And I'm taking this all in and I'm learning. I'm learning that I can and I will succeed. I know that there's an angel on my shoulder and they won't let me quit.

Sights and Sounds:
Vacationing in Western North Carolina
As the silver Chevrolet Camero rockets along the ribbon of asphalt, my eyes are glued to what seems to be a fog hugging the top of the surrounding mountains. The four lanes of traffic on Interstate 40 west of Asheville, North Carolina seem to wind through some of the most beautiful land I have ever seen. Pamphlets and brochures lay in disarray at my feet. The radio’s bass thumping to some hip hop music Steve has recorded on the cassette in the stereo. The sun’s rays are a warm caress on my face as the bounce through the passenger window. I sip on the extremely sweet Dr. Pepper that I bought earlier. The car’s vent draws in the aroma of the surroundings. At times, gas vapors and at others the pungent smell of pine fills the small interior space. As I settle into the less than comfortable passenger seat, I suddenly realize, I am now at the beginning of my week long vacation.
In the fall of 1995, I spent a week traveling the highways of Tennessee and North Carolina with my boyfriend, Steve; whom is now my husband. Leaving Missouri, with someone that I had known for a short time period was both exciting and scary. We packed up his Camero and headed east down Highway 60. We drove and drove, and finally at the point of exhaustion, and with an aching backside because the passenger seat of 1995 Camero is not meant for long distance travel, we stopped in Cookeville, TN.
The next morning, we got up and headed farther east on Interstate 40. We were on the last leg of our travel away from Missouri, by mid-day we would be in Asheville. Once we passed Knoxville or K Town, as Steve called it, the traffic on the west bound lanes of 40 grew heavier. Most cars that we were passing were sporting painted windows, flags from antennae’s or from the windows. Listening to a local radio station, we found that it was the home opening game for the Tennessee Volunteer’s football team. I decided, they took football seriously in this part of the country.
I looked at signs around me, Pigeon Forge one said. Steve pointed out things that he had seen that he thought was interesting. The scenery became more and more beautiful the closer we got to Asheville.
Asheville, I don’t know what I was thinking; I guess I thought I would see a town the size of Springfield. The town of Asheville is a sprawling town that seems to cover the whole valley. We found a Hampton Inn hotel and pulled in. We got a room and made some room in the car by carrying all the stuff in. We had no itinerary, so we shuffled through our pamphlets and decided we would drive out to Chimney Rock, which is 25 miles southeast of Asheville.
On the way to Chimney Rock, we crossed the Eastern Continental Divide. For a small town girl, I thought that was pretty cool. We stopped at a little store along the highway for a cold soda. Some natives, to that part of the country, told us to make sure we stopped at the River of Rocks. The river is nothing but these huge elephant-like rocks. They are smooth rocks, not jagged. As we explored, I noticed a family nearby who was playing in the rocks.
The parking lot to Chimney Rock is all uphill. We slid into a spot. Immediately in front of it there was a large drop off. I swore Steve was going to drive right off the hill, but he didn’t. We hiked up the parking lot to the entrance gates. The older gentleman, at the gate, asked if we would be taking the elevator or the stairs. Steve asked, “How many stairs?” The old man chuckled and said, “Twenty-six stories.” We took the elevator. In the elevator, Steve made some new friends that he fondly recalls as his “elevator buddies.” Two older women struck up a conversation with him and talked and talked the whole ride up. Steve later became their photographer and they happily repaid the favor; after, I explained to them how to work my camera.
The view from Chimney Rock is spectacular. Chimneyrockpark.com states that “the chimney is at an elevation of 2,280 feet.” The rock is surrounded by a large black wrought iron fence and a U.S. flag billows from a flagpole that is in the middle of the rock. From the rock, you can see the Opera Box. The Opera Box is an outcropping of rocks that you can hike to by a boardwalk of stairs and walkways. My favorite view from the top of the Chimney was of Lake Lure. From the top of the Chimney, I could see the vastness of the lake as it filled the surrounding valley. The sailboats on the lake looked miniscule from that elevation, and the little town that we passed at the foot of the park seemed small.
Chimney Rock Park held a special lure on our outing. A few years earlier it had been featured in the movie, The Last of the Mohicans. It wasn’t Chimney Rock that was in the movie but Hickory Nut Falls that is just on up the mountain. Hickory Nut Falls is the largest waterfall east of the Mississippi at 404 feet.
We returned to Asheville for the evening. We stopped at a local barbeque restaurant for dinner. The food was very good and the people were some of the friendliest I had ever met.
The next day, we awoke to the sun rising over the Blue Ridge Mountains out our window. The constant haze that hangs over the mountains is magnificent. Personally, I believe they get their name from the blue cast that one can see most of the time.
After a quick breakfast, in the hotel lobby, we were off to spend the day at the Biltmore Estate. The entrance to the Biltmore Estate stole my breath. I pictured myself traveling back in time to the days of horse and buggy. The road leading through the property is now paved and is a popular stop for many tour buses. As we wound our way down the blacktop ribbon, we came up a steep hill and around a curve and entered a wide opening. Statues seemed to be standing guard over the many gardens that surround the Biltmore.
We parked in one of the many parking areas and our exploration began. The tour through the house was slow going. For a house built in the late 1800’s, the mansion was amazing. It has an indoor pool that is surrounded by lush fauna. It made me think I had stepped into the rain forest. Parts of the house are four stories but all rooms are not open to the public. According to Biltmore.com the house covers 4 acres, totaling 175,000 square feet. It consists of 250 rooms that include 35 guest and family rooms, 43 bathrooms, 65 fireplaces and three kitchens. In our tour of the house we seen a chess set that was Napoleon’s. On one of the upper floors a large room that lay long and only slightly narrow was full of tapestries from the 16th century. They adorned all the walls in this room; seemingly, hanging from floor to ceiling. In this room, double doors were placed along the outer wall at various positions. A large balcony was accessible from these doors and it ran the length of the room. From the balcony, I could overlook the large open meadow with a very old tree that was slightly off centered. At the end of the meadow, timber started and sloped down towards the valley below; once again I realized that I was on top of a mountain in western North Carolina.
Throughout the house, I could find many interesting, priceless antiques. We toured a library that was full from ceiling to floor of bookshelves and more books than we ever had in our public library in Buffalo. Steve enjoyed the indoor bowling alley. The tour of the house took us the whole morning.
For lunch, we wound our way through the numerous outdoor gardens that were designed by Frederick Olmstead, to the stable area. In the courtyard of the stables, we found an ice cream shop tucked neatly inside the stable. Above the stable was a clock tower, beneath our feet was a cobblestone area, numerous songbirds sang and whistled from the trees around the back. The ice cream ran down my cone as it melted. We found a table among the other tourists and enjoyed our surroundings and our ice cream.
From here, we walked to a garden far upon the hill. I took Steve’s picture as he groped a very well endowed garden statue. On our walk up the hill, we passed a large oak tree that had been struck by lightning. The tree, itself, had survived but to close off the gaping hole that was left, the gardeners had filled the tree with bricks.
We then proceeded on with our tour of the estate by driving farther into the large compound. We stopped, along the drive, at the lake house. This was merely a large gazebo designed at the end of a large dock; sitting in the middle of a small lake. We ran into a couple with a Welsh corgi dog. This was the first time either of us had ever seen such a dog, and we absolutely fell in love with it. We watched some swans on the lake swimming in all their elegance. I took many pictures of this area because it was so serene and idyllic.
We moved on to what had once been the dairy. It had been converted to a winery in more recent years. For a small fee, you received a wine glass and were allowed to sample various wines throughout the building. Steve decided it was his sworn duty to sample any and all wines available. After a few, he found in the outer atrium a small barrel that was set up for the kids to stomp grapes and to have their footprints made. I wanted to croak when he got in line. Steve stomped grapes, had his footprints made and started a new trend. Upon seeing him in the barrel, many other tourists decided this looked like fun and got in line also. When we left this area, the line was packed with adults. The children were all standing to the side giggling and laughing.
Somewhere along the tour of the house we had read about George Vanderbilt buying some land and building a hunting lodge. The lodge was destroyed by fire but there is an area with pictures and memorabilia. We went in search of the lodge area and found it. We hiked up a trail to the spot that the hunting lodge had once stood and enjoyed all the peace and serenity.
The Blue Ridge Parkway is nicknamed “America’s Favorite Drive.” According to the website blueridgeparkway.org, it is 469 miles in length and was authorized for construction in the 1930’s as a Depression-era public works project and was more than a half-century in the making. As we wound along the Parkway, we found numerous tunnels and steep grades. The scenery is magnificent and lush. We stopped at numerous overlooks that we found along the way. I remember standing at the top of one and looking down at a house tucked neatly into the tree line in the valley below. It appeared to be a small white farmhouse and was surrounded by a barn and a silo. I returned to the car to retrieve a throw that I had brought along to cover up with during the ride. I fashioned the throw into a shawl, and stood in awe as I watched the sun set behind the mountains. The haze that covers the countryside seems to collect the rays of the setting sun, and the colors dance in the haze as the sun slowly slips down.
Mount Pisgah, at milepost 408.6, has the distinction of having by far the highest elevation of any developed area along the Parkway, according to the National Park Service website. Steve spotted a sign that pointed to a trail that led to a cross on top of Mount Pisgah. He quickly glided off the road. It was dusk and he wanted to hike up a mountain! As I wrapped deeper into my make-shift shawl, we headed up the mountain. Steve took the lead and soon left me, some yards behind. I moseyed along, knowing I was going to be eaten by a bear at any second. Instead, I stumbled upon something far worse. A snake decided to occupy the same trail as I was on. I decided rather quickly, that he could have the whole mountain. As I danced in place, screaming at the top of my lungs, “SNAKE! SNAKE! SNAKE!” Steve retreated down the path to where I was dancing about and yelling. After much coaxing, he decided it was useless to try to get me to go farther up the mountain and we returned to the car.
As our vacation drew to a close for western North Carolina, I realized that I didn’t really want to leave. The people make you feel at home there, and they welcome you as if you are a family member that is returning after being away. The land is some of the most beautiful, I believe, I have ever seen. In two years, I believe I want to revisit the Blue Ridge Parkway, the Smokey Mountains, the Biltmore Estate, and Chimney Rock State Park. I want to walk the trails that I was too chicken to walk then. I want to explore the rooms that have opened in the Biltmore Estate since our tour many years ago. I want to see Lake Lure up close. I want to dance in Hickory Nut Falls, as the cold water comes rushing down over my head. In two years, I will finish nursing school. In two years, it will be my fifteenth anniversary. In two years, I deserve a vacation!